Simon Riley wasnât sure what the hell he was listening to.
Or more accurately⊠what kind of nonsense these sergeants were going on about.
"Fuckin' hell.â one of them, Ramirez, muttered over his mug. "Wife's knocked up with number two, and it's like tryin' to hump a bloody beach ball. No positions work, she's always knackered, and half the time she just wants to sleep. Sex? More like a chore I gotta check off the list."
The others chuckled, nodding like it was the gospel. "Tell me about it.â another chimed in. "Mine's the same. Gained a ton already, and the hormones? Christ, one minute she's all over me, the next she's cryin' over a stupid animal shelter Ad. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."
Simon didn't move, didn't breathe a word. His gloved hands tightened around the edge of his tac vest, but not from anger. No, it was something hotter, sharper, coiling low in his gut.
They were wrong.
So bloody wrong.
He thought of youâhis wife, his everythingâcurled up in their bedroom back home, that soft swell of your belly just starting to show under his old shirts you loved to steal. Five months along, and you were glowing, all curves and fire, your body a map he couldn't stop exploring.
He shifted, feeling an erection growing under his gear. Just the thought of you did that to him now. The way your breasts were fuller, heavier, straining against the lace he bought you the last time he was on leave.
How your hips swayed a little wider when you walked, teasing him without even trying. Sex wasn't a choreânoâit was a privilege.
Last night, you'd been on your side, his hand splayed over the bump where their little one kicked, and he'd slid into you slow, deep, your gasps mixing with his growls. "Simon..â you'd moaned, arching back against him, your skin fever-hot and slick. He'd cum faster than a fucking virgin, all because of how beautiful you were, swollen with his child.
The sergeants droned on, oblivious. Simon pushed off the wall, a ghost in the dim light, heading home.
He needed you nowâneeded to feel that life you'd made together, to bury himself in the woman who turned his world from shadows to something worth fighting for.
As he stepped into the your home, the door clicked shut behind him, he found you on the couch, feet up, reading one of those baby guidebooks with a smirk.
"Miss me, Lieutenant?" you teased, eyes sparkling.
He didn't answer with words. Instead, he knelt before you, hands gentle on your thighs, trailing up slow as his gaze darkened. "Every fuckin' second, lovie. Especially now."
His voice was rough, laced with that hunger only you ignited. And as he leaned in, lips brushing the curve of your belly before he found his way between your thighs, he knew this was heaven, not hell.
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Sometimes the house became almost painfully quiet when Simon was away. Not the good kind of quiet, the kind that settled softly over the room and let you breathe for a while. This was different. A strange, persistent silence that felt like something was missing from the walls themselves, like the whole place had forgotten how to sound like home.
You did your best to fill it.
Books, music, little cleaning spurts that turned into reorganizing entire shelves, and, most often lately, cooking. Cooking helped. It gave your hands something to do and your mind something to focus on. It was soothing, for the most part, until you made something you knew Simon would have loved, and there was no one there to tease, taste, or steal the first bite.
Still, tonightâs recipe had gone well. The kitchen smelled warm and rich, all garlic and herbs and something sweet lingering underneath. You stood there with a plate in one hand, ready to finally serve, when you heard it.
A shuffle. Then a low groan from the front door.
Your whole body went rigid.
Simon was not supposed to be back for another week. You were alone. No guests, no deliveries, no reason for anyone to be at the door at all.
Someone was breaking in. Shit.
You went cold all at once, every lecture Simon had ever given you on self defense flashing through your mind, but panic left no room for careful thinking. You grabbed the plate tighter, your knuckles whitening around it, and moved before your brain could catch up.
The lock rattled, the door bursting open and you swung.
The plate shattered spectacularly against the head of the very tall intruder.
For one breathtaking second, you stood frozen, half expecting a stranger, a threat, anything else.
Instead, a familiar grumble filled the doorway, "Fucking hell."
Your soul left your body.
âSimon?â you gasped, throwing your hands up in horror as adrenaline shot through you so fast your fingers trembled.
He staggered inside, a duffel bag slipping from one shoulder and thudding to the floor. One hand braced against the wall, the other pressed to the side of his head.
âAre you okay?!â you gasped.
âI got smashed with a plate. What ya think?â he muttered, eyes shut tight.
âYou were supposed to be back in a week!â
âMission ended early,â he said with a pained groan.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â
âWanted tâ surprise ya.â
You stared at him.
Then gestured wildly at the ceramic graveyard on the floor.
"That is objectively the worst possible strategy for someone who constantly tells me to be careful because of all the enemies you've made."
He gave you a flat look. âNice. Blame the victim.â
"The victim broke into the house like a raccoon with military training."
He huffed "rude."
âJust go sit down,â you said, already ushering him toward the sofa. âIâll get the first aid kit.â
He kicked off his boots with a grunt and dropped onto the couch like all the bones in his body had collectively decided to quit. By the time you returned, kit in hand, he looked tired in that deeply worn-out way that made your chest ache, guilt gnawed at you like a tiny feral creature.
"Si, I'm so sorry," you blurted the second you sat beside him. "I genuinely thought someone was breaking in and then the door opened and I panicked and my body moved before my brain did and I hit you andâ"
"It's alright, sweeâheart," his voice came soft, steady.
You worked carefully, cleaning the scratches on his forehead and the small cuts along his shoulder. He didnât even flinch much, though he did keep staring at you with that quiet, warm look that always made you feel like you were the only light in the room.
âBeen through a dangerous mission,â he said, âanâ get home to get clocked by me wife.â
âIt wasnât on purpose,â you said, glaring at the cotton pad like it had personally offended you.
âNever said it was.â
âYou are being very smug for a man who got ambushed by dinnerware.â
He huffed a laugh. âUsually wives greet their husbands with kisses and hugs. Not ceramic warfare.â
âI was trying out a new greeting method.â
He raised one brow. âNext time, how about a pan to the face?â
You let out a helpless laugh. âShut up.â
âYou hit me.â
âI thought you were breaking in!â
âStill counts as domestic violence, luv.â
You snorted despite yourself, and he looked absurdly pleased with that.
Once you finished, he leaned back into the couch with a long sigh, still horrified and still trying not to laugh at the stupidity of this entire situation. He tilted his head toward you.
âOn the bright side,â he said, âI do know for certain youâre safe when Iâm gone.â
âyâwanna know what stupid looks like?â he mutters, head dropping down until his lips near your jaw. âyou, wakin up with my fuckin dog tags round your neck and nothin else.â
repost from my old deleted account tobeholyistobeempty - tispy simon riley x drunk reader. simon is a man of morals, even when you make it very very hard for him to exercise them. 18+. lots of detailed dirty talk.
ââââ-
itâs honestly not even your fault.
youâll blame it all on soap, if anyone asks - heâs the one who had a tab open, a devil on his shoulder, and kept pouring shots as if they were free. now youâre blackout-adjacent, stumbling through the hallway with simonâs arm wrapped around your waist in some makeshift tourniquet while everything spins like a goddamn carousel.
simon always gets stuck on clean-up crew. mostly because heâs the only one who can handle their fuckin liquor.
needless to say, heâs used to this by now. used to the way youâve been rambling on about nothing for the better part of five minutes - doesnât say much when you stop and get distracted by something stupid for the billionth time. doesnât complain when you grab his arm and lean a little too hard into his side, as if heâs a lifeline in the sea that is the floor beneath your feet.
heâs tipsy, sure, but somehow still annoyingly steady. classic simon.
âjesussiâyouâre big.â itâs slurred and breathless, broken by your own laughter as your head drops lazily onto his shoulder. âlike, industrial grade. military-issued big.â
the corner of his mouth tilts. if you were sober youâd see the smirk heâs biting back.
âtha right?â
âmmm. like a fuckin tank,â you hum, fingers kneading the muscle under your palm. itâs involuntary - just like itâs involuntary when he twitches. âor an armoured vehicle. yâshould come with airbags.â
simon bites his cheek. the devil in you is dancing in the waves of tension rolling off him.
maybe heâs not as used to this as he thought - because this isnât just drunk-banter. this is you, murmuring compliments with all that heat behind them. personal. stupidly involuntarily honest.
hes not used to compliments. not ones that sound like that.
âyouâre drunk,â he breathes.
you grin. âsoâre you.â
ânot even half as much as you.â
you let out a giddy little laugh that makes him glance down, at that. itâs quick and brief, the way his eyes flick over you, like heâs checking to make sure you havenât stripped mid-hallway. itâs just the bickering that gets you. makes you warm inside.
âmânot that drunk,â you lie through your teeth with all the drunken confidence you possess. âi meanâi am, but not likeâŠmemory loss drunk. iâm still gonna remember how wide your shoulders are tomorrow.â
itâs only seconds after that and your fingers are moving again, crawling down his arm to where leather edge meets skin.
â..and how insanely big your hands are,â you sigh in continuation, unable to help yourself. âlikeâbiblically destructive. ruin-her-life-in-a-single-night kind of hands. anyone ever tell yâthat?â
and that might just be precisely when it starts - the feeling in his gut. brought to life through the filth youâre beginning to feed.
âdonât.â he says, and itâs torn. ânot now.â
heâs all but begging you - and however miraculously, his pace doesnât break. still steady as ever even as you switch from squeezing to tracing his tattoos with your finger. the only response he gives is a devastating clench of his jaw as he keeps you moving - steering past flickering lights and sterile walls.
âyâever choke a girl out with them?â you press, unfettered. ânot like, unconscious, but like. in bed?â
he exhales. slow. almost a growl.
âjesus. stop talkinâ.â
âwhy?â you blink up at him, all wide eyes and flushed cheeks, far too innocent for someone whoâs very much not being innocent. âam i makinâ you nervouuus?â
his head tilts just slightly, just enough to peer down at you again.
âno,â he says, and even drunk you hear the grit in it. âyouâre makinâ me hard.â
he says it like he hates himself for it. like it slipped out - cut from the meat of some deep place the inebriation in his veins simply wonât let him keep inside.
and you?
you blink slow, lips parting in surprise.
âfuckinâ finally.â you exhale with a smile. slow and crooked and dangerous. âthought iâd have to be on my knees and naked for you to admit thatââ
he doesnât let you finish that thought.
âfuckâs sake, yâlittle minx.â heâs dragging you now, as if heâs realizing the dangers that are surfacing the more this conversation continues. by this point heâs half-carrying, half-hauling your giggling form down the hall like you weigh nothing. âyâneed to stop talkin.â
âyou like it,â you slur between unsteady steps. âyâlike me like this cause youâre a freakkkââ
his grip tightens. morals in tatters. control evaporating.
âiâd like you more if yâwere unconscious.â he huffs, hard. âor duct-taped.â
that makes you giggle more. worse, it eggs you on.
âwas that supposed tâbe a threat?â you ask, lips glistening. âcause if so, itâs workingggg.â
he grunts - some deep, violent sound in his throat like that one hit a nerve. âbloody hell.â
by the time you make it to your door, heâs breathing heavy. less from exertion and more from sheer fucking restraint. it takes two seconds before he throws the hinges wide, kicks it shut with his boot, and all but drags you onto your bed.
and you hardly even realize youâve reached it until the cotton caresses the side of your cheek. but that feeling is quickly forgotten when simon, the gentleman that he is, leans over you - one knee braced on the mattress as his hands go to work on the laces of your boots.
your thighs tense. he notices.
âfuck, simon.â you canât stop yourself. not even god himself could, at this point. âiâve been into you for ages, yâknow.â
he pauses. boot in hand.
ââŠwhat?â
he says it low. like a warning - like a donât you fuckin start. but youâre too drunk to care - especially when all you smell is him and all you see are those shoulders, leaning over you while youâre flat on your back beneath him.
your lashes flutter.
âjus sayin- since, like. youâre in my room, on my bed above me like one of my codeine fever dreams.â you slur, brain sloshing. the room spins with it. âthought yâshould know.â
he looks at you like youâve hit him with a brick.
your head lolls. glassy eyes dragging up over the length of him. âused to think about itâyouâwhen i couldnât sleep.â
he swallows, and you watch his throat work with it. the grip heâs got on your ankle could shatter bone.
ââŠ.you tellin me yâthink bout me when yâtouch yourself?â he asks.
âgod yes.â you donât even realize youâve said it. âyou. your hands. bending me over the sinks. in the showers while muttering filth in my ear, tellin me to behaveââ
ââfuck.â it punches out of him like it hurts.
the silence falls heavy. he doesnât blink, breathe, or move for what feels like forty minutes, when in reality, itâs like forty seconds - just long enough for him clamp the leash back on whatever beast is tearing through him.
not fully, but enough.
you stretch like a cat, oblivious to it. arch your back. sigh. âdâyou think about it?â
he doesnât answer. not at first. thenâ
âonly when i breathe.â
your stomach lurches. your thighs twitch. âyou mean that?â
he looks at you, finally - eyes darker than the devils deal, filled with filth and heat from the fire you started without even trying.
he shakes his head, his jaw clenches with the effort of keeping the beast at bay. âi mean, if you donât stop talkin, mâgonna fuckinâ fold.â
the alcohol in your blood just roars, at that. fuel to the flaming fire inside you.
âtell me.â you murmur. âyou think about fucking me? what iâd sound like moaning yourââ
before you can finish that thought, his hand is over your mouth. it swallows your face, makes you twitch in all the wrong places â and he sees it.
âenough.â itâs barely a whisper. âchrist. fuck. youâre gonna make me do somethinâ stupid.â
you moan against his hand - it spills out of you, vibrates against his fingers. he curses.
âyâwanna know what stupid looks like?â he mutters, head dropping down until his lips near your jaw. âyou, wakin up with my fuckin dog tags round your neck and nothin else.â
his palm silences everything but your pulse, which is roaring, at this point.
your fingers come up, shift a few of his digits until your voice finds room to leak out. âplease.â
his eyes snap shut.
âyâdont know what youâre askin for, sweetâeart,â he mutters, grabbing the edge of the blanket with his free hand and yanking it over your hips. âainât gonna wake up with you hatin me.â
even drunk you realize heâs a man of morals.
âyou think iâd regret it?â you whisper. stars in your eyes. he doesnât respond. âsimon. i just told you iâve fantasized about fucking you. i wonder how big you are, if itâd hurtââ
his palm tightens over your lips again.
âone more fuckinâ word and iâll forget every goddamn reason why i shouldnât touch you right now.â he spits. âif yâeven remember this tomorrow, yâcome say it to me sober. promise on every grave iâve ever stood over iâll bend yâover on the spot and fuck the idea of regret right outta you.â
then he pulls back, moving slow like it hurts, and you smile.
âguess iâll see you tomorrow.â
âmhm.â he hums, take a step or two toward the door. âfuckin hope you will.â
tag: donât bring Simon to the gynecologist with you.
Youâd woken up late, hair a mess, throat scratchy, body sore in that way that only meant one thing; Simon had been entirely too much the night before⊠like usual. Your phone buzzed that morning and Simon, already half-dressed and standing by your dresser, looked at the screen and raised a brow.
"Doc visit?" he questioned, voice deep, lazy.
You blinked at your phone and realization hit you. "âŠshit." You did have a scheduled appointment for today which you entirely forgot about.
He shrugged. "Iâll drive."
And like an idiot, sleep-addled and still sore from the night before, you let him come.
Now here you are, spread on the exam table like a goddamn starfish, feet in the stirrups, paper gown bunched up around your waist, fluorescent lighting making everything feel ten times worse⊠and Simon is in the corner, his legs spread, elbows on his thighs, and scrolling on his phone like heâs in a dentistâs waiting room.
Not one once of shame. You shoot him a look. He doesnât even reciprocate it but just mutters, "Told you tâ put it on the calendar."
Before you can hiss back at him, the door opens.
Your gynecologist steps in, a nice, polite, middle-aged woman, all business and just stops dead.
Her eyes flick from you and your very exposed situation, then to Simon. The six-foot-something wall of tattoos and muscle, who by the way is generally not in the room. Then back to you.
âOh!â the doctor says, pleasantly startled. âI⊠wasnât expecting a guest today.â
Simon finally looks up. Nods once. âMaâam.â
Just maâam. Like heâs greeting a cashier.
You wish the earth would open and swallow you whole.
The doctor put on her gloves with that clinical snap that somehow made this even worse.
You stare at the ceiling like it owes you something.
Simon goes right back to scrolling.
The paper under you crinkles as you shift, cheeks hot. The doctor sits on her stool, rolling close between your legs.
âJust going to take a look,â she says. âAny pain lately? Discomfort? Irregular bleeding?â
You open your mouth to say 'no, everythingâs fine' but then she hums.
A concerned hum.
You freeze.
âNot alarming,â she assures, too quickly, âJust⊠some residual bruising on the cervix.â
Your soul leaves your body. âBruising?â you croak.
Simonâs thumb stops mid-scroll.
The doctor nods. âYes. Fair amount of tenderness and discoloration.â She pauses, then looks at you knowingly. The doctor hums again, then says the absolute worst possible thing.
"Itâs nothing dangerous, but Iâd recommend you avoid prolonged, intense activity for a day or two. Especially with somethingâŠ"
She paused. Looked directly at Simon. "âŠthat big."
She does not say big casually. She emphasizes it. Bold. Italic. Underline. Triple-sized font.
BIG.
The room goes silent and the air stops moving for a moment. Even the HVAC system seems to hesitate.
Simon slowly sits back in his chair, like someone just handed him an award.
A slow smirk creeps onto his face, subtle but smug as hell. He doesnât even pretend humility. Doesnât cough. Doesnât deflect. He just stays, quiet and cocky.
You want to die.
The doctor keeps talking, clinically unbothered. âIf your partner has a⊠larger anatomy, you need to take breaks, communicate, maybe use positions with less depth. Going too long can cause bruising or strain.â
The doctor continues, completely unaware of the war happening between you two.
âIâd recommend abstaining for a few daysââ
Simon snorts.
You whip your head toward him. âDo you mind ?!â You are going to punch him.
Right here. Feet in the stirrups. Gown open and youâre going to assault this man.
Awhile after, the doctor gently removes her gloves. âAll done. You can get dressed.â
As she stands, she looks at Simon again, still uncertain why heâs here at all.
âYouâre welcome to wait in the lobby next time,â she offers kindly.
But Simon just stands, stretches, and says âNah. âm her support.â
Support.
Support.
As if he didnât break open your insides twelve hours ago.
You slide off the table, teeth clenched, grabbing your clothes.
The doctor exits politely.
You round on Simon the moment the door shuts. âNext time youâre keeping your ass homeâ
He shrugs casually, taking your purse for you like the smug bastard he is. âNot my fault the doc praised my dick.â
âShe did not praise your dickââ
âShe said big.â He leans down, voice low in your ear âEmphasized it too.â
Simonâs eyebrows lift. âLarger anatomy,â he repeats under his breath like heâs tasting the words.
You point a murderous stare at him.
You shove his chest. He catches your wrist. Presses a kiss to your temple.
âCâmon,â he murmurs. âGet dressed. Iâll take yâ home. You can be mad in the car.â
You mutter, âGod I hate you so much right now .â
older!simonriley who is a little bit surprised when you ask him to sleep with you. you tell him how inexperienced you are and that you wish to learn how to properly pleasure someone. he's not sure if he's gonna say yes but, you're probably going to ask someone else anyway, and the mere idea makes him sick. he doesnât regret it when he sees your big doe eyes looking up at him as you're on your knees, his fat cock standing proudly before you. he snickers at your intimidated expression before grabbing gently your hair and guiding your lips on his lenght, a sigh escaping him as he feels the warmness of your mouth. even as you gag and that tears are threatning to spill, he doesnât stop, you'll have to learn the hard way anyway.
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Simons only ever had one tattoo artist, every tattoo on his body was done by you. And Simonâs starting to think you have a crush on him. And he wouldn't be wrong. You've known Simon for years, seen more of him then anyone has, and every time he comes in heâs hotter than the last time. The tattoos you've given him are just so hot and then every time he comes in you get so close to him and those nice big muscles. Not only is he so hot, but heâs actually comfortable around you, talks to you, cracks jokes, even some small flirting.Â
Simon decides to find out if you actually like him. He comes in like usual, asks you to tattoo something on his chest, he sees the way your face gets red but of course you agree. Simon keeps his mask off even though he doesn't need to, he keeps his eyes on you the whole time, and shamelessly flirts. Still nothing happens, you're definitely more shy and blushing the whole time but that's not enough for Simon. Simon always tips generously and in cash, this time when he handed you your tip he also gave you a paper that said âdate, Saturday night?â Simon watched you read it, your head snapped up as soon as you finished reading it, you looked so surprised before you started smiling and nodded. Yeah, Simon would never choose a different tattoo artist.
simon riley who grunts every time you shift on the bed. its late at night and you cant seem to get comfy. he lets out an annoyed huff and throws an arm over your waist. "stop moving, dove." he mumbles into your shoulder. he pulls you against his chest and gently squishes your tummy with his big hand. it never fails to amaze you how quickly you can fall asleep in his arms.
summary: your boyfriend pours candle wax on you while having sex
masterlist!
a/n: requests are open!!
âshhh, baby. yer alrighâ,â your boyfriend coos, landing a single smack across your beautiful ass perched in the air, âmâ gotcha.â
your boyfriend had you laid on your stomach, his pillow rested underneath your pelvis, your little arms tied above your head to the bed frameâs post.
the sound of your heavenly moans filled the air at simonâs big, girthy cock thrusting in and out of your tight cunt, forcing, âyes, s-si! oh!â out of you.
simon was relishing in the magnetizing site, the manâs massive hands gripping your waist, eyeing the ring of cream forming around the base of his cock at the entrance of your pretty pussy. the light shined on your glistening folds, messy squelching noises mixing with the echos of your boyfriendâs skin slapping against yours each time he thrusted.
âfuck yeah, luvieâ,â the beefy brit groaned out, leaning his muscular torso on top of your back to place a kiss on your cheek, âfeel so amazinâ for mâ.â he wrapped a tatted bicep around your neck, âlove ya so much.â
you smiled at simonâs words, biting on your lower lip when he hit just the right spot, âi-i- oh! i love you too, si!â
he sat himself up, eyes fixated on the candle you had lit on your night stand. his precious girlfriend always got candles to match the season, the man smirking at his great idea. simon went to grab your candle, blowing out the flame.
a strident screech departed you when you felt a hot liquid land along your spine, your boyfriendâs pounding only quickening at the beautiful noises of your pain.
he poured more candle wax down your back, eventually reaching the curve of your plump ass, watching the colorful liquid harden.
simon was loving the sight underneath him, how you were moaning and crying at the scorching sensation. you were just so perfect to the brute.
âthaâsâ righâ,â he fucks your cunt, tilting the candle to pour more, âjusâ bite down on yer pillow,â he grunts out next.