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Roy and Jamie aren’t doing anything illicit in Roy’s office. The team knows it. That isn’t the problem.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
No one had told Isaac he was supposed to be Dani today. But he still crossed himself and prayed in Spanish before swinging the door to Roy’s office open.
As he suspected, Jamie was on his knees, braced forward with one hand while the other tried to slap at one of Roy’s. Roy was also on his knees, one hand down the back of Jamie’s trousers, and the other slapping back at the one Jamie was using to slap at him. Both heads snapped up to see Isaac in the doorframe with the team behind him looking suspiciously at anywhere else but the office.
Roy growled, which was loud as hell in his ear based on Jamie’s wince. It also left Jamie as the one to helm the conversation.
“Uhh, it’s not what it looks like?”
Isaac stared at him silently for nearly a full minute, letting the tension build, before finally answering.
“It looks like you tried to force Coach into leaving work by locking his keyboard, mouse, and laptop in his desk. Then when he tried to take the key back, you dropped it into your trousers thinking he’d never call your bluff. And now he’s trying to dig it out from around your knee.”
“Oh, well, then it’s exactly what it looks like, yeah.”
Which, okay, neither Jamie or Roy had ever been accused of being quiet, so they shouldn’t look so surprised.
“It’s just…” and at Isaac’s continued talking, Roy took his hands off of Jamie and sighed. “I’m the captain. So I have a duty to the coaching staff, right?”
Jamie nodded yes for both of them. He hadn’t otherwise moved from his semi-prone position.
“But as captain I also have a duty to my players, right?” And he let Jamie nod again, since he could see Roy listening.
“So on behalf of both sides of this coin, I need you two to do me a favor:
Get dressed up, eat at a nice restaurant, go back to either of yours, and make sweet syrupy love to each other. Then, for the rest of your lives, anytime either of you get one of your crazy-ass whims, go do that shit in the privacy of your own home.
Cause neither of you have ever been normal about the other but it’s gotten like extra hard to bear witness to” and Isaac gestures to embody all of their half wrestled on the ground selves “whatever the fuck it is you two’ve been doing.”
He pivots, silently closes the door, and shakes his head as Jamie calls out “Cheers, mate” and then yelps. Roy obviously slapped him on his ass. Again. Cause it was a day that ended in y.
He nods to Nate and Beard as he passes the open door of where they’d been hiding in the boot room. Both give him a thankful thumbs up.
The rest of the team are meeting at Ola’s to buy him drinks for his bravery. When Jamie tries to call over to get a reservation, Simi doesn’t even consult with Sam before telling him that she isn’t allowing him and Roy anywhere near her kitchen together until they’ve gone 3 months without being freaks.
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