#side comment

just had to doodle some mood thoughts |D

Also, I didn’t expect to discuss pedophilia and incest in the string of reblogs, but here we are. #2017motto

You really learn smth new everyday.

Anyways back to our regularly scheduled program!

One ex who was OCD decided to take all my funko out of their boxes and display them on one of my bookshelves in alphabetical order. I came home and lost my mind. I might have called him names and told him to get out. We were done within the week. He couldn't understand how I could be so upset about toys and I couldn't understand how he could violate my personal space without permission. I came home before he was able to throw out any of the packing and the damage was minimal - I had one Hulk Funko I purchased again because the boxes corners were dented in.)

(CAD stands for Computer-aided design. In my case, it's software used in architectural art and design. So fun thing about my industry, it's not as mac based as you'd think. Some of the best CAD versions and 3D modeling programs (like 3D rhinoceros) are PC based. I was trained and worked on PC so shifting to mac is not a fun thing for me. Fortunately I have a rather special relationship with the President of the firm I work in so I may be able to get him to see the advantages of the software I used at the last firm I worked at.)

Baking Dreams I should work more on baking to make these cold months a bit more bearable. Maybe I’ll find a way improve my pastry-making skills so I can open up that maid cafe like I’ve been planning to. If only I could get that enterprise underway... That would be my dream, to open up a maid café and spend my time writing when I’m not playing shop manager. I think we all struggle to find what our “true calling” is, but I think we all fundamentally want to improve the world and make it a better place. No one deliberately wants to be forgotten and live a life of insignificance. I guess I’m still struggling with whether or not I should go to medical school and become a doctor when I go back to the states because I have such a strong desire to write books. Can I really compare writing fantasy stories to healing people with medicine? In my time here, I’ve found so much life in writing, and on top of that, I’ve found out how much I enjoy producing art. I wish I could stop feeling like any liberal or artistic pursuit I undertake is doomed to be pointless and insignificant. Maybe I just feel so bad because I’m so lonely and I don’t have anyone to discuss these ideas with. It’s near impossible to accomplish anything if you’re truly on your own. It’s so difficult for me to find intrinsic value in things these days, so it’s hard to enjoy anything alone. I constantly question myself as to whether or not I really enjoy writing and drawing because the effort I put forth is literally painful and often triggers headaches.