Society has always called me predatory for daring to be "deviantly" attracted to people who aren't men. And this was compounded by my masculinity and my blackness. I used to be so scared of seeming predatory in interacting with women. Which makes sense considering my whole life people have treated me as if I'm aggressive, mean, evil, perverted and all for the crime of being a lesbian. Even more so for being a black butch lesbian. This characterization bleeds into the way people interact with me. Some of the many ways I'm punished for that perception include being oversexualized, being denied benefit of the doubt, and being treated as both a spectacle and invisible. Still, I refuse to measure my value by absurd metrics designed to diminish me. I won't waste my time fighting their misconceptions that I know intrinsically to be false. If it's perverted to unapologetically be horny over hot sapphics then maybe I am a pervert. If it's mean to not allow myself to be walked all over then maybe I am mean. If it's evil to hold disdain for people who want me to stop existing then maybe I am evil. I don't value the morals and standards of a society that hates me for existing.
My favorite way to subvert their villainizing tropes is to play into them. I like to put on a little sleezy butch act. It's silly and sexy and it makes me giggle. I feel like Shrek putting on his big scary ogre act when the villagers come with their pitchforks. I love the strategy because it allows him to find amusement in the aburdity of their fear and it get the villagers to leave him alone without having to fight. It would be exhausting and futile to try to convince people hell bent on misunderstanding us to see us for who we are. At least the sleezy butch persona is fun and the femmes in my life who do see me and understand me think it's hot!
