Jun 1, 2020
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I made the huge mistake of asking my group chat friends what I should draw.
SO! Today was erm....eventful...?
----------Warning: Vent Ahead------------- About 'triggering' I found this seemingly awesome Discord Server which was dedicated towards my beloved 'Ancient Magus Bride'. It seemed like it was a fairly big group of people, all of which share similar interests with me. I was pretty happy with the find and even went as far as sharing it to my tumblr and Facebook group for a brief moment... So I was posting up stuff, but there was this particular moderator that seemed to have an issue with me-- this becoming evident as soon as the creator of the group noticed that I was the one behind these sketches. I felt this hostile air coming, I would start talking and the topic would quickly be changed back to them and their talents/favorite characters. I didn't let it get to me though, I felt it was probably just who they are and it should just be paid no mind. I'm naturally a very angry person, and I've been working hard on changing that about myself and becoming more patient/calculating before jumping the gun. I try and not let things get to me, but, some situations are still pushing their luck with me, and today just happened to be one of those moments and I just wanted to share my opinion on the situation. So, I was sharing videos, and my usual golden AMB finds. And we all know how I love to call Elias 'Bone-daddy'. I find it to be a super hilarious nickname for him, and it's fitting to his physique and personality. I also always enjoyed BDSM and am currently in the lifestyle with my mate. I find no offense to it and see no reason why anyone would have a problem with a silly name-- but I was completely wrong. Now, I understand if some people don't particularly 'dig' it, that's cool! Not everyone  see's it the same way that I do, and that's fine! You're allowed that, as well as I'm allowed to have my fun with it as well. Just don't call him that? There's many better ways to handle the situation than getting offended. But that's still what it snowballed down too. Something as silly as me just having fun and calling Elias 'bone-daddy' suddenly turned into: "I know some people who would get triggered by that." And this came from the moderator that seemingly had an issue with me to begin with. I simply wrote it down to I wasn't welcomed there, and simply left. Which I gotta say, fucking blows... I really enjoyed the idea of a Discord server for AMB fans, and was happy for the find- honestly, it took me a lot of courage to even click the link and give it a shot. I've been such a recluse for so long, and this is the reward I get for my efforts? Seemingly getting disliked from the start and all for what? Because I have a silly nickname for a character I fucking love? Honestly, I really don't see what's the deal with people getting so easily triggered lately. I know that I have anger issues, but it was never over something like a joke. It's stupid that people would get offended over such a small thing, but yet people still do, and I believe that it's only rooted from a need to control others. How so? Well, because people didn't like the nickname, they used the excuse of 'triggering' in order to silence me from doing it. It had nothing to do with possible past traumatic experiences, these past experiences were only being used in order for them not to hear something they don't like. I literally had nothing to do with happened in their past, so why punish me for it? Why demean me over it? It's unfair... It's been bugging me all day, because it's so unfortunate... Should I just start a Discord server of my own and hope for the best? Should I try my hand at this? A place where people can freely discuss their favorite series without having to step on eggshells? Because clearly I'm not welcomed in the one currently active, nor would I want to return to a place where I'm forbidden to have fun and be myself as it might 'offend' someone.
MY BIG SISTER TAKES DRUGS, with RYAN HUDSON
On this episode, Ryan Hudson (@channelate) joins us as we all slam our faces into big fat Drug Piles and talk about a sad boyâs tiny flags. Happy first day of Summer!
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S naĹĄĂm bydlenĂm je to takovej jeden velkej shitfest. Jeden krok kupĹedu a ÄtyĹi zpĂĄtky. PĹehlĂdka nekoneÄnĂ˝ch ĂşstupkĹŻ a nevĂ˝hodnĂ˝ch kompromisĹŻ na Ăşkor nÄÄeho. A ĂşĹady... boĹže, ty ĂşĹady!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
as a nonbinary transfem, I find the term "womxn" both extremely ugly and deeply flawed.
that's why this month, I'm partnering with Albuquerque Pride to present: ShitFest
WHATS GOOD
its been a hot fucking minute!!!!! hereâs a list of things that have nothing to do with each other but iâm going to list them here bc my brain is literal poison :> uwu - my dad is finally âhealthyâ again after he almost died like four times last year (lmao that really damaged my mental health LOL)
- my gf got stuck in ny (more or less lol) bc of covid and now we r so happy and a little codependent but anyways when she leaves at xmas im gonna have some Dark Days
-online school is really fucking testing me
-i got really excited to be stuck in this shithole town again but i havent seen any of my friends since BEFORE the pandemic started and flaskdjf;lsajk jupiter I MISS U IM SORRY IM SO BAD AT COMMUNICATING
-side bar to last dash- i tried to hang out with the old crew gang at the beginning of the summer but none of them were wearing their masks so me and mg leFT IT WAS SO AWKÂ
-my roommate/fit bestie just got out of the PSYCH WARD ALSKDFJALS;DKJFA
-obsessed with horror movies/it more than ever rn.... Bill Hader.... :>>>Â -friendship ENDED with trixie and katya!!!!!!!!Â
-officially every boy i ever loved is gay, a they/them, or an entire GIRL now so i can officially call it lesbianism and the rest is complete gender envy
-speaking of which- *** **** is now B*a**ic* and im like. i think shes manifesting me and its making me feel so weird that this person who hurt me really bad like 1)doesnt even exist anymore and 2)is liking/stalking me on social media like.... IM HAPPY FOR U SIS BUT IM ON MY OWN NOW LEAVE ME ALONE
-um. so how about adam from saw?Â
Thereâs been a conundrum
I thought I was used to my life turning to shit, but this weekâs bordering the level of shit I donât want to handle. Itâs like going to an all-you-can-eat buffet, filling a plate full of my favorite food, but then trip and land on the plate, consequently mushing everything together like a sad piece of clay. One thing to know about me, I donât like mixing my food. I like to keep them separate, and eat them separately.
One could say it stems from how I handle my life. I keep different parts of my life separate, my family life is only at home, my school life will always stay in school (even the work I do), and my personal issues will always stay just like that, personal.
When I have a problem, however, it gets harder and harder for me to keep these things separate.
Everything gets confusing, I donât know where goes what which feelings are for whom and which ones are mine. Breaking up with my boyfriend at the start of the week was not one of my best decisions, but I feel like it was a needed one. If not, the thought would have eaten me up inside, and I didnât want to lie to him.
The break up would have gone better if he didnât react the way he did, or did the things he did, but it happened and I have to live with it. Which sucks, because I donât think I can look at him the same for a while. I wonât be able to talk to him properly without anger or annoyance rising up within me.
What was once a peaceful bioecological system is now in ruins, and I have to build it back up. Higher walls, deeper moat, and a ton of guards.
I learned that I have to solve some internalized problems before I can fully accept another person romantically.
Also, that some boys cry a lot.
Now I just have to soldier through the second semester carrying an emotional weight that wonât be lifted until I figure things out. Emotionally, and psychologically. I donât know how yet, but hopefully, I will soon.
Wish me luck.
-Lex