#shipping000

Seeing the comments on this tweet push back. "Surveys are biased because the male fans didn't answer surveys" or whatever, reminded me of an article I saw 2 months ago.

Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream – Overview Trailer – Nintendo Switch by Nintendo of America

Putting an End to the Gayest Debate of All Time - YAOI VS YURI by E

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If this video essay is asking us to self reflect and examine why some of us might enjoy yaoi more often then yuri, then sure. Sounds worthwhile.

I've never really felt strongly in love with any yuri ships, as i have with yaoi or hetero ships.

And I have to wonder if that has anything to do with any possible underlying male-leaning attraction of mine, underneath my predominantly aroace identity. That could be possible. I'm not fully repulsed by allo attractions. (Just the real life ones, involving me.) Maybe a small percentage of my inclinations finds males attractive, and maybe that is the spark that gets me to feel intensely about my favorite fictional ships. After all, the one thing yaoi and hetero ships have in common is they both include male characters.

I know I love Madoka Magica and I say I love HomuMado. But i think if I'm being truly honest, I just accept HomuMado as a canon ship that drives the plot (like Kingdom Hearts' SoKai), more than as a ship that gives me all the uncontrollably intense fangirl feelings, that I usually get from being really excited about a ship or anointing a ship as my OTP. For example, a lot of dramatic tension in Nimona 2023 depends on being on board for the Goldenheart ship, and it immediately worked on me. I was rooting for them during the whole movie. But HomuMado was just a thing i accepted for the plot, more than something that made me squeal from the pit of my soul, like Goldenheart. "But you collect so many Homumado figurines and do so many photoshoots of them in love." Yes. Because they're soooo pretty and beautiful, their story is beautifully angsty, and I think I just love Homura a lot. Her madness is so relatable. I love watching her be so obsessed with Madoka. Her tragedy and angst has me so invested. The object of her desire could have lead to something other than a ship, and I probably would love Homura for the same reasons I love Kikyo and C.C.---only one of which I involve in shipping, by the way. I could have likely just as easily loved Homura, the same way I do with Kikyo, who I don't need to ship with anyone, in order to love her as a character. I WISH HomuMado gave me all the intense feels, reflexively, instinctively, uncontrollably, like my OTPs do. And I do have to wonder if the element lacking, to ignite my OTP feels, is it being yuri. I have to at least test that theory.

But then I remember Strawberry Panic. Does anyone remember that yuri manga? It was so hard for me to find yuri manga that actually gets me to feel. Probably because back when i regularly colleced manga, yuri was still predominated by male gaze fetishization. Even Strawberry Panic fell more into that category. Back then, we didn't have (easy access to) titles like "She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat" or "Bloom Into You"---titles about actual sapphic love stories, now more often written by female mangaka, and not just PWP. With Strawberry Panic's secondary couple, I felt that spark of instinctive, "falling in love" feels, that make me excitedly root for a ship. Not the main ship. But the side ship from the subplot. I related to that feeling so much. Because I love ingenue, and Hikari was a total angel. And I love androgynous, gentlemanly women. And when Amane fell in love with Hikari at first sight, I totally got it. That was exactly the type of feeling I could relate to, for an angelic ingenue. And I related so much to Amane's perspective, just trying to live her life, unable to entertain the romantic pressures around her, but just growing fond affection for Hikari on their own. It's such a shame that the anime adaptation shifted the perspective to Hikari instead. That turned their side story into the most typical cliche of "insecure girl pining for the prince to notice her". Too many Shoujo manga have done that for my tastes. I was here for the "perfect prince" getting revealed to he a normal person, unsure what to do with their crush on an ingenue. Amane's perspective was what made their side story refreshing and relatable, something I could vicariously feel. That anime adaptation ruined it.

I want to say that maybe if there was a wider variety of yuri ships, I'd find more ships that appeal to my idiosyncratic tastes. But, there is now. There wasn't, back when i was an avid otaku, and yuri manga/anime publication in the US was certainly behind, compared to BL, back in the day. But there is now. ...Now, when I dont read much manga anymore. And don't watch as much anime as i used to. I could probably find more yuri ships that I, specifically, would feel genuinely excited for...if I took the time now to expose myself to more media (in general). But sadly, the only media I regularly consume these days is YouTube, not anime/manga.

I will say that what I've read of "The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All", has got me interested. I just need to finish reading it! Maybe I just like girls who are the "shy cool guy"? That might be a pattern with me. I do like girls who dress as guys---ever since i was a preteen bookworm, seeking out fantasy novels with girls masquerading as guys, and well into my manga reading years. (More recently heard it's called the "chicks in pants" trope.) I love that trope, as long as it's from her perspective, and she isn't relegated to this "cool guy on a pedestal, admired from a distance"---like what the Strawberry Panic anime adaptation did to Amane. I know I love the Beatles, and how both Mitsuki and Aya bonded over their love of the Beatles and music in general. I love characters with a genuine bond, and not just infatuated with each other---unless it's an angelic ingenue, apparently lol. But I love "The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All" so far because I love fangirling, genuine positivity and excitement. And I love watching Mitsuki and Aya do that together.

And if I could withstand Sound Euphonium's emotionally painful drama, I probably would have already been pursuing the spark I noticed between Kumiko and Reina, that almost immediately caught my shipping interest. But that series is too much emotional labor for my social anxiety.

I'd probably find more yuri ships, that I could feel reflexively excited to ship and root for, if I just read/watched more yuri.

But as it stands, I have to agree with the theory that most media will often only bother to write men well and their relationships well. So it's no wonder we ship them with each other. And then the few mainstream yuri ships I do get exposed to, still have to sift past my personal idiosyncratic tastes. Like, all of Arcane was written well, including all their female characters and their relationships, including yuri. But CaitVi just happened to not be any tropes or relationship dynamics that personally spoke to me. And that's just dumb luck.

So I think yuri has a chance with me, but I'd still have to find the specific tropes and dynamics that I specifically enjoy. And that really narrows down yuri's chances to endear more yuri ships into my OTP status.

My ship in a nutshell, version 2.