#shidduchim

Dear Future Husband,

It’s 4:45 in the morning and I need to go to the bathroom.

But I can’t go to the bathroom right now.

Because I don’t have a bathroom right now.

Now, that doesn’t seem possible. I must have access to a bathroom somewhere, right?

Well, sure, you know, just the one I have to walk through my mother's room to access.

Which I obviously can’t do right now because she hasn’t fallen asleep yet tonight and has the world’s worst startle response to even something as simple as trying to ask her a question when she has headphones in (which is like 92% of the time), let alone opening her door in the dark middle of the night when she’s wide awake, because FML.

Oh, and how do I know that she hasn’t gone to sleep yet tonight?

Because I too have not gone to sleep yet tonight.

Because I had a couple of things that I wanted to take care of when I knew that she wouldn’t be awake to make a comment about me doing said things. And that still has not happened.

Because just sitting on the couch in the living room, I can hear her. Awake.

And yes, I do have to be up for work in about two hours. Because FML.

But don’t you worry your pretty little head, the why I don’t have a bathroom story is coming. I just need the energy to write it, which is not right now, at almost 5am, when I just have to go to the bathroom.

Tonight is Tu B'Av, the full moon of the Hebrew month of Av, which the Talmud calls one of the two most joyful days of the year. It's known as an auspicious time for weddings and #shidduchim, so this #TubAv may you all be blessed to find your true love.

Shidduchim at the time seemed impossible and fantastical. I had seen it work in the lives of others, and yet the idea that a guy I would meet on a date could become my husband was hard to conceptualize beyond the theoretical. 

He picked me up and we went to Barnes & Noble. We talked about a wide range of things, spanning from Aliyah and hashkafa to LOTR. It was a pleasant date, but I was far from swept off my feet. 

Slowly, but surely, things between us grew and solidified and suddenly I was bringing him home to meet my parents. We flew to meet his parents. A little over two months from our first date, we were engaged. Less than two months after that, I was circling him under the chuppah. 

Before all this happened, I used to wonder how people got engaged so quickly. How could they know? But with our timeline, although it was overwhelming at times (change, even for the good, can be scary) I never felt I was rushed or something was wrong. At times I wanted absolute clarity that he was the one for me, but I realized that sometimes you find out as much as you can about that person (and you definitely make sure to find out the important things) and from there you operate on what you know, although it can be something of a leap of faith. 

Does there ever come a point in singledom where your heart doesn't feel like it got stabbed every time someone gets engaged? I hate that I feel that way, I am genuinely happy for those who got engaged, but man if it doesn't make me want to climb into bed and eat a bunch of chocolate and cry.