#shanebug

I like to think that Shane was given the nickname by David. When he was a toddler Shane was obsessed with any and every type of bug. He’d make David and Yuna take him in the garden all the time to dig for worms or look at the flowers to see if there were any bees. But his absolute favourite were ladybugs leading David to coin the nickname Shanebug.

Obviously once hockey took over his life Shane kind of forgot about his bug obsession. But once he gets settled living in Ottawa with Ilya he starts to pick it back up.

When Shane and Ilya went round to his parents for dinner he offhandedly mentioned that he was planning on adding some plants to the garden so more insects and bugs would visit. And David goes suddenly silent and starts to get teary.

David: Oh Shanebug is back

Ilya: Shanebug, what is a Shanebug?

This leads to Yuna getting out all Shane’s toddler pictures showcasing him holding a ladybug in his hands, him covered in mud pointing at a worm with the biggest grin on his face and him cross eyed as a butterfly lands on his nose. Ilya’s favourite though is a photo of Shane dressed up as a ladybug for his third birthday, antennas and all, that he gushes over.

A young David Hollander (who is so sexy!!!), had just had his first big promotion, being internally deployed from a mid-class job at Health Canada to a higher-class job at the Treasury Board of Canada as a policy analyst, coming with not only a pay raise but a new cushy office!

To celebrate, his new bosses invite him to a celebratory dinner, and instruct him to bring his family and introduce them.

So, of course, Yuna and David bring their little shanebug. Their prized possession. He gets forcibly stuffed into nice khakis and a button up. He hates it, but what baby/young toddler doesn't hate fancy clothes?

They get there slightly late because Shanebug did not want to get up from snuggle-time and threw quite the tantrum, and David's bosses, who are mostly old men with grand babies, find him just adorable. They're all taking turns holding him and pinching his cheeks, but Shane just wants to return to his father's lap. He doesn't like strangers holding him for more than five minutes. Furthermore, he would not sit in the crappy restaurant high chair. David awkwardly laughs it off, slightly embarrassed that his baby was being so pouty at dinner and held him in his lap.

The food comes, Yuna and David didn't order Shane any because he's a baby. He'll just have a bottle later before bed ☺️ (wishful thinking, really.).

There's the usual boring conversion topics. 'How's your wife?' 'Oh, great, how's your wife?' 'Oh, great. How are your kids?' 'Oh, great. How are your kids?' 'Oh, you know. College. Oldest is getting married in about 5 month.'

But it's around fifteen minutes in when David realizes some of the men keep glancing over, not at him, but at Shane. And that Yuna is holding in giggles?

David looked down to see about half of his salmon filet was... missing? Weird. He looks a bit further down to see his little -well, no- Shanebug with two fistfulls of his salmon and a half-chewed mouthful of it.

"Shane!" David exclaims. "Bug, no. You're not supposed to be eating solids." He gently scolds, trying to remove the salmon from Shane's fists.

Shane squirms and kicks his legs, stuffing another fistful into his mouth.

David's bosses laugh, a rich person laugh. The laugh of men who play golf and drink top shelf whiskey.

"Really? Because it looks like he eats solids." One of them jokes, leading to more laughter. How embarrassing, David thinks.

"Dada... Sa-mom." Shane says, looking up at David with teary eyes and a pout that says, 'but daddy, I'm starving' in no words.

David, embarrassingly, buckles immediately and let's Shane eat over half of his salmon. Shane would've eaten more if Yuna didn't stop him. Afterwards, Shane slept like a rock all night long. And, I mean, a win is a win!