#severus fic

But today your relapse was worse than all the other days, you were in severe pain and felt dizzy, your vision blurred when you tried to do any task, no matter how simple. Worried, Snape insisted that you stay in bed and rest until the potion he would make was ready, without the strength to debate you agreed.

He began to organize the ingredients for your potion when he realized that one was missing, the most important one had run out a few weeks ago and he hadn't realized it. The way would be to go into town to buy more, a task he knew would hate to do, but would feel even worse to see you get worse, so he lifted his head, got ready and crossed the door towards town. Snape kept an indifferent face as he crossed the street of Diagon Alley among the stores and people who gave him looks that he refused to return. He walked with hurried steps trying to shorten the experience, entered the store that sold what he needed and with the ingredient in hand began his way back to you.

He was about to consider this one of his least worst visits to the city when he felt the ice accompanied by the strong smell of alcohol that bathed his body. As he passed in front of the Three Broomsticks, one of the drunks who were leaving the place saw Snape and purposely throw the drink he was carrying at him, which made the brunette stop and look at the men, still in shock at what had happened.

Many people had already made Snape feel bad with comments and insults, but they had never gotten to the point of throwing something at him.

"How do you still have the courage to show up here you phony!"- the drunken man began his speech of pure hatred- "We all know that you still faithfully serve the one who should not be named, what are you doing walking next to Dumbledore? Just waiting for your lord to give the orders for you to stab him in the back? An act worthy of the worm that you are?! You disgust me!"- finally the man spat in Snape's direction.

The same didn't know how to react to that situation, he was staring with a frown and eyes of astonishment at the man pouring all those hostile words over him, the smell of the drink impregnating not only his clothes but also his body as he was overcome by a feeling of hate and sadness. He couldn't stand to go through this anymore.

That's when his savior appeared, stepping in front of him to defend him.

"Where were you raised? Not even the lowest creature attacks another without reason, much less a fellow creature, the only worm here is you with your despicable arrogance"- said Remo Lupin, who appeared among the crowd that stopped to watch the tragic spectacle. Then he goes to Severus, asking if he is all right and guiding him away from there.

- You didn't have to do that- Severus said when he managed to regain his speech.

- Yeah, I know you're tough enough to fend for yourself, sorry if I hurt your pride- Remus joked.

At some point Snape dismissed Lupin's company and went home alone. You heard only the loud slam of the front door and nothing else, total silence, you were surprised and worried, you still felt weak and achy, but the dizzy feeling had passed so you got up and went in search of your beloved. "Honey? Are you all right?" you asked, still coming down the stairs, and soon after you saw Snape kneeling and bending over in the entrance hall. As you approached him you could smell the strong odor of drink coming from him, but what caught your attention were his sobs trying to contain his crying. Already imagining the worst you knelt down next to him trying to comfort him. The man collapsed in your arms, seeking refuge.

You felt Snape's clothes wet and soon understood that it was from them that the smell of drink came, which was a relief, because you would be frightened if in such a short time he had drunk so much to stink like that.

You wanted to ask what had happened, wanted to know who was responsible for leaving your love like this, but you knew that it was better to let him take the initiative in this matter himself, so you just hugged him back saying: "It's okay, love, it's going to be okay now, I'm here with you, I'm here". When Severus's crying had quieted you suggested a hot bath, lifting him up and guiding him cautiously to the bathroom.

Arriving in the room you started to prepare the bath while Severus undressed as you asked, with affectionate kisses you helped him with the last pieces and took him to the bathtub, cleaning him carefully, it was like you felt that at that moment Snape was more fragile than he really was.

You noticed your lover's scattered gaze staring into nothingness, he looked uncomfortable about something even though the tears were gone. Not sure what to do you decided to join Severus in the bathtub, hugging his back, trying to show some support as you wrapped him in your arms.

The truth was, he felt bad that you were doing this, that you were having to take care of him at a time when he should be taking care of you, since you're the one who's sick.

- I'm sorry, Y/n...

- For what?

- For being a burden...

Snape's few words squeezed your heart, you hated to see him feeling this way.

- Honey, you will never be a burden to me, sometimes you forget that I'm with you because I love you, don't you?- you joked and planted a kiss on the back of his neck- That's why I will always be by your side, in good times and bad.

After that the closed room was completely silent for a while, you weren't sure what Severus was thinking, maybe something to contradict you, something that would give you a reason to no longer love him as you claimed. But him found nothing.

- I love you too. Real love, not just admiration. I've never felt this way about anyone before- he confessed, still looking away.

You held him tighter in your arms, as if you were afraid that at any moment you might lose him. Severus let himself be embraced by you, slowly feeling warm again, feeling alive. With this feeling back, he felt ready to tell you what had happened.

- When I was coming back I passed in front of the three broomsticks...-he took a deep breath recovering to tell you the rest- ...I didn't pay attention but there were some drunks leaving and one of them threw a drink at me because I was-... Because I'm a worm.

You listened to everything in total silence, you didn't want to interrupt him. Snape said the last words more harshly, as if asserting them to himself. A feeling of hate began to grow in you as you imagined all that drunken bastard was making your lover feel, the confusion that should have been in his thoughts.

- The only worm I see is the arrogant man who told you that.

Severus laughed, still embarrassed, when he remembered that Lupin had said practically the same thing.

- Please don't make me have to tell you that you are not a worm because you know it yourself, Sev! You are the bravest man I have ever known, no one else could stand to play your role, my love.

- Maybe I can't take it anymore either...

Fear. That's what you felt listening to his confession, fear because there was nothing you could say to comfort him. Fear because there was no way you could help him with this burden. Fear because in that situation you were totally incapable.

All you could do was put your head down on his back and try hard because this time you were the one holding back the crying. You whispered to Snape the only sentence you could say to help him.

- Regardless of your choice I will always be here supporting you...

- Always?

- Always.

After a short comfortable silence you felt a gentle hand on your head, comforting you, and then you lifted your face and Severus turned to look at you. Both of you trying to comfort each other by looking, your lips came together to show what you most needed to feel at that moment: love.

You stayed in the bathtub for a few more minutes, talking through your displays of affection, you tried to make your man laugh with comments like: "but wait until I find this guy who has impregnated you with that alcohol smell and he will hear some good things!", which was working and little by little the atmosphere was becoming more colorful and cozy again.

After your bath you chose a comfortable outfit for your love and you spent the rest of the day together. Severus tried to argue that you were still ill and that he had to take care of you, but you refused to stay in bed and leave him alone, so you followed him around the house and kept him company until nightfall, when you retired to your room and slept together hugging to remind each other of what you had promised: that you would always be by they side.

━━━━━༺༻━━━━━

Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Masterlist

Drabbles Game

“Now, (y/n), you know there is no need for that,” he said cooly with that raspy voice of his. A satisfied smirk crossed his lips for a short second. “You know my knots do not yield, you know they do not get untied until you give me what I want.” His voice was a low growl; it felt as though it stroked you when it reached your body. 

You whimpered once more and could not help the tugging on your restraints that kept you in his bed, yet again. It only earned you a slight huff from him as he placed the little cup on the table beside his chair. It clinked softly, and the chair groaned as he rose with elegance and grace. His frock coat tightly wrapped his body, and all the little buttons were begging you to unbutton them. Your fingers itched for the feel of them slipping through their respective holes. 

He strode towards you, slowly, with measured steps. Your pulse quickened, and your breathing became laboured as you struggled to get enough oxygen into your lungs. His eyes wandered up and down your body, pleasure etched on his face. You were sprawled on the massive four-poster bed. No pillows or covers in sight, only you, cotton sheets, and black ropes. Your hands were tied above your head, your arms stretched out. Your legs spread fully, each ankle tied to one of the two posters at the bottom of the bed. You were naked and spread wide before him as he stood by the foot of the bed. Fully clothed, except for his bare feet. 

“Now, you know there is no need for tugging. You will be freed when I see fit, won’t you, (y/n)?” You swallowed hard at his darkly voiced words. The wicked gleam in his eyes intensified as he took two steps closer. You whimpered as his cold finger touched the inside of your ankle, right below the rope. “Please,” you panted, but he only hushed you. “You know the rules,” he said softly, and you knew, you knew he would punish you for breaking them, for speaking when not allowed to. 

He leaned down and kissed your hipbone while steadying himself with one hand on each side of you. “Disobedient today, aren’t we (y/n)?” You pressed your head into the mattress as his cold finger stroked your naked leg, from your ankle all the way up to your hip, where he had kissed you only a moment ago. His finger kept going, up along your side, all the way to your collarbone. It made you whimper and shudder. The lightness of the touch his punishment for you. You hated...and loved it. 

For five months, it had been like this. For five months, he had called upon you, for five months, he had tied you to his bed only to touch and rule you. Five months of joyous torture. It had begun with a simple drunken night and had ended up being the most complicated thing. He had bound you, gagged you, kissed you, stroked you — given you infinite amounts of pleasure. Yet, he had never given you the chance to do the same to him. 

For five months, he had ruled your body and mind, for five months, he had undressed you, tied you to his bed and done what he wished to you. And oh, how you fucking loved it. His touch, those rough hands, the harsh words, the growling voice, the command and power that seeped from every fibre of his being.   

Yet, you had never seen his skin. You had never touched him, loved with him, felt him in you. He never allowed you to touch him, stroke him or kiss him. His lips never reached your face, and his clothes never left his body. The body you yearned so desperately for. The skin you so badly wanted to see and touch. The lips you so fiercely wanted to smash your own against. But that...was not part of the deal. The deal you had not been aware of in the beginning. 

His cold hand brought you back to reality as he let it travel down your chest, over your tummy and further. You shivered as he reached your groin and gave you a light stroke. His cold skin almost burned you. Burning ice. It was what ploughed through your head; he was burning ice. Lethal. Devastating. Cold destruction. 

“No daydreaming,” he growled as he stroked you yet again, over and over. You whimpered  — the need to call his name nearly overwhelming. His soft touch was still a punishment. That was how it was; you broke the rules, and he punished you with softness. Shallow strokes. Light licks. It was not what you wanted, what you needed, what your body craved from him. 

“Enough?” he asked, simply questioning if you were done breaking the rules. You nodded. Not wanting to break the rules with another word unless commanded to speak. “Good pet,” he said with a huff as he raised himself. Your heart pounded harder as he stepped around the bed; he went for the chest a few steps away. You knew all too well what pleasures were hidden in there, and the excitement building swiftly was almost numbing. 

He took his time selecting, humming in a murmur. When he turned back towards you, he held...nothing. There was nothing in his hands, and you felt disappointed. Until you saw his smile. It tugged at one of the corners of his mouth, and it made you wary. 

“Master?” you asked, and he arched his brow again. You shut your mouth with such force that your teeth hurt. He smirked and walked towards you. Each step powerful; measured. As if he had fully mastered the art of elegance. He had, you knew that. 

He placed one knee on the bed, and the mattress shifted beneath you. He leaned in and kissed your neck, which forced your head back, and you relished the feel of his tongue licking and lapping at your skin. It wasn’t soft; his tongue was pressing itself into your flesh, and it felt divine. “Pet,” he murmured against your skin, and sweat misted you from the arousal. His nickname for you, his word for you. 

“For you,” he said with praise in his voice, and you were just about to break the rules by asking what as his rough hand found its way to your groin. He stroked and petted, from the top all the way down to your darker opening. It felt as though you would explode as his rough hand explored. The coolness of his skin against your heat. It made you whimper and whine. Your legs were tugging, and the ropes around your ankles dug into your flesh. 

Then his hand left you for a second, and you felt bereft, abandoned. But he was back instantly, and something across his palm vibrated softly. It tickled all the right spots, and you moaned loudly with a ragged breath tearing through your throat. He tortured you with his rough hand, pressing and stroking harshly as the vibrations tickled you relentlessly. 

You were struggling, panting, whining, whimpering beneath his touch as his mouth pressed itself against your throat and he nibbled and bit your skin. The sensation vibrated through your entire body and magnified the sensations from his onslaught on your sex. You were shaking, your body ready to explode. But he didn’t give you permission. Tears trickled down your cheeks as you struggled with all your might to keep the climax at bay, to stay on the edge of the cliff without tipping over. 

“Wait, patience, my pet,” he growled as you started to thrash and buckle, “patience,” he said yet again. His voice was too much, the low growling too deep. It spurred your climax on, and you were tipping, tipping and tipping over the edge of the cliff. He knew it, he felt it. You knew he was all too aware of what he did to your body. It hurt, it strained, it pounded, and all you wanted was release. Sweet release. 

“M-master, p-please,” you begged with a soulful plea in your voice. He chuckled, and you felt his smile against your skin. “Patience, pet, patience.” You nearly cried, you nearly screamed in frustration as the onslaught became too much. His rough hand, harsh yet steady, the rhythm constant. You buckled and writhed beneath his touch as he started to pant in your ear. You knew then that he would give you your release any moment. 

You felt his movement change; it softened. You whimpered. He slowed, and you whined. The vibration ended, and you buckled. His cold skin left your heated sex, and you writhed. The cliff had turned into a mountain, and you wanted to be thrown from its peak. “M-master, master please, please, I beg of you!” Your voice was hoarse, weak and muddled with a cry held back. “Pet,” he mumbled in that deep voice, your eyes whirled around and found his bulge. You wetted your lips, and the tears kept streaming from the pent-up sensations running amok through you. 

He had never left you before. He had never withheld your climax before. Never had he tortured you in such a way. It hurt. Your body hurt and strained. You shook, and sweat clung to you. “Pet,” he whispered before rising from the bed, “you have been so patient…” His words were growled, yet they were beyond approving. You tugged at your bonds, furious with him for leaving you at such a time. “Please!” you pleaded, not caring about the rules anymore. You needed to get off, desperately urgently. 

He gave you a smile, his eyes went from wicked to...something else. There was a look you had never seen before in his eyes, and it made your entire body tense up — which only further pushed you towards the climax as all your muscles strained. “Such patience, my pet,” he said, and those rough hands rose towards his cravat. 

Your fingers went numb from the strain against the rope. You tried to gulp down air as he loosened the cravat and pulled it free from his neck. It revealed a glimpse of his throat and neck. Something in you purred with delight. “Such, such patience,” he murmured again, and the room reverberated with the sound of his voice paired with your heaving breaths, “is worth a reward, I think.” 

He undid the top button of his frock, slowly — ever so agonisingly slowly. You quaked. “A reward of…” He kept undoing the buttons one by one until the frock opened, “me…” 

If anyone else had said it, you would have laughed; it would have been so unbelievably corny. But when he said it, you shivered and writhed on teh brink of madness atop the bed. He peeled off the fabric and stood beside you in his black pants and a white, long-sleeved shirt. It was unbuttoned at the top, and you swallowed hard. 

You wanted to beg for his touch, wanted to beg for his approval to touch him. “Do not get the wrong idea, pet,” he mused. “You are to be bound, to be ruled. I am not yours to do as you please with,” he mused further with such wicked delight in his onyx eyes as they met your (e/c) ones. “But you...are mine.” His words were final, and it made your heart pound with delight, and your stomach fluttered with joy. Your sex still pleading for him, his touch, your release. 

Severus unbuttoned his shirt with delicate care and shed the white fabric where he stood. You were silent, stunned. Never before had he shown himself in any way. Never had he divulged any form of his outside clothing. Yet he now stood there, half-naked. And it, was, glorious. Tears pricked your eyes yet again; from the strain, from the arousal, but most of all from his revelation. 

“Now, pet,” he mused in a dark whisper, “let me give you what you want…” As he said the words, your eyes widened, darkened. You wetted your lips, and he stepped closer, placed himself between your legs and licked your neck, kissed your collarbone one after the other. His lips moved down, down, down. Over your heaving chest, he gave each nipple a harsh lick before moving on as you trashed and struggled to not do so beneath him. He kissed a line from your chest down to your groin, and you tensed. Your climax still loomed unbearably close; it pulsed through you. Your pounding heart and racing pulse made you hot all over. 

“Such delicate taste,” he murmured as he gave your lower belly a single kiss before moving down to where you wanted him the most, where you needed him the most. Never before had he let his mouth travel so far down. Never before had he graced your aching sex with his lips and tongue. Never before had you felt such a lovely sensation.

“Now, pet, you may speak...as you need.” And those were the cautionary words, the words of warning about what was to come. He only uttered them when he was about to give you something ravishingly lovely. You tensed all over as his mouth set to work. Unprepared for the onslaught, the sensations, the heat and ferocity he devoured you with. He prompted you, teased you. It was devilishly hellish and splendid. Splendid in so many ways that it took away everything else. 

You fumbled around at the peak of the mountain in total darkness as you rose higher and higher, standing on your tippy-toes as the storm claimed you. He claimed you. He grabbed you and threw you off the mountain with such power that you fell for eternity as your climax claimed you. Caressed you like the wind, wet your skin like rain, cradled you like a heavy fog. You screamed his name, not his chosen title, his name. Not Master, but Severus. 

You panted, writhed, buckled and shook as the climax crashed over you again and again, over and over. It seemed to never end, an endless fall of pure pleasure. You cried, you hollered his name as a wolf would howl towards the full moon, you tugged against the bonds that held you and being unable to close your legs made the climax that much more intense. It rocked you to your core, and you had to shut your eyes to focus on the feeling. 

His cold hands deftly undid the ties, first around your ankles and then around your wrists. You were spent, but all you could feel was the need to touch him. To feel his skin under the palms of your hands. So you reached for him. But was met with only empty air. You opened your eyes, and he was no longer on the bed with you. No longer between your legs, and you had missed the chance to touch his skin. That near-white, lovely skin was beyond your reach as he slipped his shirt back on.

“Severus,” you said weakly, “please… I’ve-” “I know you have waited. Your patience has been perfect,” he said dismissively, and you recoiled from his words.

Had you not given everything? Had you not bound yourself to him in every way you could? Had you not given up all other pleasures to be only his, to use as he wished? Had you not done everything he asked? 

You felt broken where you lay on the bed, spent and shaking — in more senses than one. He seemed unruffled and as collected as always. As if it were a mere game, as if you were a toy to be played with when he pleased, only to be put back in a box when he was done. You felt used. Had you not come to love him these past months, you would have walked away... 

Had you not loved him, as you now do, you would have hated his guts. You would have screamed and yelled. You would have left and never come back. But you loved him, the wicked man now fully dressed had captured your heart like none other had ever managed. He had you bound; the ropes he used were just a physical aspect of it, and they meant nothing compared to the chains he shackled your heart with. 

“Severus, I-” you whispered in a near cry, and he turned to look at you. It silenced you instantly. His onyx eyes swirled and danced, his lips tightly pressed together, and his jaw was tense. You wanted to tell him that you had fallen for him. That you loved him. That you were truly bound to him. You wanted to tell him how you longed for him, his touch, and to touch him. Above all, to give him pleasure like he had countless times done for you. 

“Please, let me do for you what you do for me. Please,” you pleaded as you tried to get up from bed, but your body wouldn’t obey. Your muscles were drained of power, and you couldn’t manage the effort, so you sat on its edge. He arched a brow towards you yet said nothing. You felt it, you could feel  — all the way into your bones — that he knew you were his. 

He knew you loved him. He knew.

Severus stepped closer; oh so slowly he shortened the distance between you. “I am not as easy as you think,” he said with a harsh tone as he grabbed your chin and tilted your face so he could look at you. “I am not so easy to love as you wish—” his fingers tightened “—I am not one who loves.” You swallowed hard. He searched your eyes, and you willingly let him see it all. 

You were both still for a long moment; time seemed to slow as your breathing evened out. Courage of some form grew in your chest. “But I am. I am one who loves. For me, you are easy to love,” you confessed with a hoarse voice as you choked on your own need to cry for him. He huffed, but you wouldn’t break the eye contact you had. You kept his gaze firmly in yours. Unyielding. Something changed then. In him. His face softened ever so slightly. 

“You are a good pet,” he mused with a salacious grin, “and I will be your master for as long as I please.” His words were harsh, and darkness coiled around him as if the shadows were his friends. Your stomach twisted, yet your heart kept pounding for him. “However,” he then said with a new voice, one you had not heard before, “you might find, with patience as you seem to have, that I can be more.” He gave your lips one, soft, light, kiss, and you felt as though you would combust right then and there. 

Never had his lips been anywhere on your face. It was one of the rules. Never had he gone above your jawline, and never had your lips been anywhere on him— ever.

Something in you shifted, melted and froze. The chains he had on your heart rattled and clinked as they solidified. “Patience, I have plenty of… For you, master.” 

So, this is new for me, writing a fic based solely on the sexual aspect without softness. My Severus is usually soft and sweet, loving and caring for his one and only you (so to speak). But I had this idea in my mind that he could be harsh yet adoring, dark and domineering, yet still have a softness to him. I hope I managed to do the idea justice ^^ 

Please, please leave a comment or share or give this a heart if you enjoyed reading it - it means so much!  

[Oct:2020]

Masterlist page // Masterlist post 

 Was in the library that you discovered the real source of those pains that caused you shortness of breath, it wasn't the beginning of a cold or the flu as Madam Pomfrey had assumed, in fact, now that you knew what it was, would prefer it to be. All of your symptoms perfectly matched with hanahaki disease, also known as the disease of unrequited love. The confirmation was given weeks later when you spat out the first petal, the unreal discomfort it caused you, the pain of feeling it rise in your throat, almost preventing you from breathing in moments amidst your uncontrollable coughing, all that effort released a small petal, wich perfectly covered the tip of your index finger. The person responsible for the suffering you were going through? He would never love you back, because he was already in love, you always knew that, and yet your heart has chosen precisely him, Severus Snape. The boy irrationally loved Lílian Evans, even now that they no longer speak to each other.

 Your classes always coincided with to the boy’s, that's how you managed to get close to him, at first he was very reserved and stay in defensive, but you ended up becoming great friends, due to your insistence. And now you were sufring for getting involved with him, even though you already knew all the possible consequences. Not that you decided to get involved with Snape with ulterior motives, quite the contrary, but you also could never deny that some of the boy's characteristics had always attracted you, and now knowing the young man's true personality only attributed to you see him even more attractive. You realized that you were in love with Severus when you saw him smile for the first time, the sun illuminated his face on a fresh summer day, you were sitting by a tree near the school doing something like a picnic, sitting next to the boy you almost leaned on him, and was because of a remark of yours, a bit mean but full of sarcasm, which made Severus laugh. The atmosphere at that moment was so good that nowadays when you close your eyes you can still go back to that scene if you want to.

 This moment and several other similar ones you had together was the only thing that soothed your now broken heart. You knew Snape wouldn't love you back, he had already given himself body and soul to Lily, but you didn't regret loving him, because Severus is a gentle boy who respects you and makes you feel good, the boy you would be proud to present to your parents as your partner, for you knew he would love you and make you happy until your last days together. But all this fantasy had to be left to be lived only in your dreams, because you knew perfectly well that it couldn't be real.

 As the days went by your condition worsened, Madame Pomfrey did her best to alleviate your symptoms, because it was a rare disease, treated as legend due to the few documented cases, and there was no cure. It broke the doctor's heart to see you looking more tired and debilitated day after day and there was nothing she could do to improve the situation. And it was obvious that Severus noticed the change, even though you avoided him, because you knew better than anyone how your appearance had changed, you didn't want the boy to see you in this state, you were weak and it wouldn't take many months to be taken by the disease, you didn't want the last memories he would have of you to be your exhausted figure.

 Until the day Severus surprised you in an empty hallway and surrounded you, barring your way and forcing you to talk to him, you two started discuss, him arguing how you were distant and acting weird and you trying to justify yourself and make obviously false excuses, your lies upset the young boy, he had hurt you somehow and you were avoiding him now and didn't want to say? And why did you look so pale and frail? But Snape's thoughts were interrupted when you started coughing heavily, apparently you couldn't seem to control the situation, and then, everything calmed down when you released a small flower bud stained by your blood. The boy understood nothing at first, it was apparent from his expression, until you explained to him about the disease, you revealed that you were in love with Severus through tears, and as much as the change in his face was minimal his heart dropped as he saw himself responsible for everything that was making you suffer, you would die before living the life you were worthy of, and he was to blame for it all, for not being able to return the feeling.

***

 Almost  one month had passed when Severus completely lost his ground when he was faced with the confirmation of what he feared most, Lily really loved the boy Severus disliked, Potter. And there was nothing he could do, because Lily was so happy with the boy, he could never prevent the happiness of his beloved, it would go completely against his principles to do that. All he could do was respect and admire from afar her smile next to the other boy, and just pretend that this did not cause him a huge pain in his chest.

 And was at the beginning of the next month that Snape spat out the first petal, he felt everything just like you did, and in the end he cursed himself for putting you through that. But unlike you he couldn't accept the situation, Severus loved Lilian body and soul but couldn't die for feeling like that, determined to find answers he carefully analyzed all the books that reported the subject, Hanahaki's disease was really almost a legend, which made his research difficult, but it wasn't a reason for him to give up.

You were already very weak, to the point that you could no longer attend classes, you found yourself in Madam Pomfrey's observation ward, in a bed less comfortable than the one in the dormitory of your house at Hogwarts, surrounded by white curtains to give you privacy, beside you there was a small bedside table filled with books to distract you, around you there were flowers that had been in your lungs and were spat out by you and now contrasted with the scattered gifts left by your classmates who couldn't hide how shaken they were to know that they could at any moment receive the news that you were gone. Now you were in the most distant form of your conventional appearance, you had lost a lot of weight, your face carried a very tired look, your hair had grown and hid your face a little, but ironically you received everyone with a big smile, always looking peaceful even in this situation, but that was because you accepted the death, you knew it would come for you soon, so you had no reason to try to run away or hide, the best way to spend your last days was enjoying the company of your friends and family and admiring the little things that make you smile around you.

 Severus visited you but couldn't stay for long, because seeing your weak figure squeezed his heart and made him feel terrible, but seeing you motivated him to try to find a cure, a potion that would put an end to this curse, no one else would have to die from this disease if he could combine the right elements, and it was only a few steps away. It was in a potions class in which Snape felt strong headaches for thinking so much about a solution that he had the dazzle of the answer he was looking for, the teacher who taught the class explained the properties of an ingredient not very malleable and extremely poisonous to humans if used in the wrong proportions, and wich could devastate crops when using its essence. When it came in contact with plants they were completely undone leaving only a few traces of the most resistant plants, otherwise none at all. And when it came into contact with the human body it was fatal, but if mixed with other substances and in the right proportion, it would not cause harm.

 It was exactly what he was looking for, at the same instant Severus just stood up and left the room with the ingredient without giving any explanation, he had no time to lose, he went back to the dormitory and started to prepare the potion.

 It got dark and you felt that this would be your last night, the difficulty you had breathing guaranteed it, your trunk was heavy due to the flowers and thorns that grew inside it, but even feeling this pain you made an effort and went to the large window in the room to admire the sky filled with constellations and the moon that illuminated the night perfectly as a beacon for those who were lost in the darkness. When Hypnos and Morpheus, the god of sleep accompanied by the god of dreams, finally embraced you, you went back to your bed and lay down in a comforting dream.

 Even though it was already dark Severus didn't stop for even a second, even when being illuminated  only by a small candle he didn't stop the tests, he needed the result at hands, he needed the cure, he needed to save you. His body begged for rest, but his mind wouldn't allow it, Snape didn't even dare to look at the clock or the window to keep track of time, all his concentration was on the result of the potion. It was then that he finally got what he wanted, one of the tests finally reached the desired result, he had succeeded, he had found a cure, the potion was ready, he could save you. Only then Severus realized that in a few minutes the sun would rise and start a new day, he had spent the night on his research, but it didn't matter, a sleepless night was a minimal price to pay in exchange for the cure of such an impetuous disease. He needed to find you now.

 With the bottle of potion in hands the boy desperately climbed the stairs to meet you in the hospital wing, every second was vital, he couldn't waste any more time. At the risk of being punished for disobeying several of the Hogwarts rules Severus entered the place that welcomed you. Madame Pomfrey came immediately to question him, but he was faster and passed by her without listening to her complaints and so fast that he gave her no chance to hold him back.  

 Severus found your figure lying completely asleep, with a peaceful countenance, even though it was visible that carried a lot of suffering. He approached you and even though him were agitated he tried to wake you up gently, but he got no response, when the boy held your arm and felt no pulse it seemed that his heart had also stopped, feeling as if he was falling off a cliff going against the already imminent reality Severus called your name in total despair, as a last attempt he took the potion to your lips so you could drink and maybe you would come back, but it was too late, the boy himself did not want to admit but he already knew that you no longer belonged to the world of the living. Kneeling at the side of the bed and leaning over your inanimate body the first rays of sunlight appeared and illuminated Snape's back, who cried and cursed himself, he could never forgive himself for not being quick enough. He would patent the potion so that no one else would suffer as you did, except him, Severus would not take the healing potion, it was the only fitting punishment for the only responsible for your death.

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