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btw if you have ocd I fucking love you and have so much empathy for you its not even fucking funny. If you ever feel alone, and sad, ocd related or not, know that I fucking adore you and would do anything for you, know that at my worst I was wishing the best for you and for me, for every single person who has ever had this disease and ever will. ERP. Live your fucking life.
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curious if anyone else with OCD hates/hated the “manifesting” trend or if it’s just me
when I mention that I have OCD and people think I mean I'm an organized perfectionist, but then they find out I'm actually constantly bordering on psychosis
ocd being thought of by most people as "omg im so organized" is actually the funniest shit in the world when you have severe ocd and are doing the same task 2045778 more times while thinking the "right thoughts" for 50000 hours while being put through the most excruciating mental pain one can physically bare while being so exhausted by doing this for every atom you move in your body every single day that you are genuinely so exhausted you are constantly in a state of almost always falling asleep while you are almost always about to have a heart attack at the same time. OR NOT doing it and actually doing your correct expose therapy and trying to finally end the cycle of suffering so you don't waste your entire life sobbing on the floor in horrific horror movie scream levels of fear over nothing, by going directly against your fear that is so strong it has taken your soul atp. and then feel foolish because this was "just" a freakout about trying NOT to send a million screenshots of the same thing to your teacher over and over again.
having severe ocd when ur growing up is so funny bc like, ik you're brain isnt fully developed, and you have many other mental disorders, and you're falling behind on school work and thinking about how you're going to survive this world and also go get a passport because you're living in a dictatorship, but also... master psychology and become a master monk just so you can simply exist in the default form than everyone around you is already at
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how life feels when you have fibromyalgia, constant (and likely chronic) exhaustion , and OCD
when you get to the part in therapy where its time to start realizing that ocd isn't your only problem and that you have stressers that made you turn to that coping mechanism and grasp to it so hard in the first place
!! tw: ocd !!
new contamination trigger!!!!! woohoo! guess what it is?!?!
showering. yes. showering. y'know, the thing that makes you clean?...had a panic attack in the shower not even 20 minutes ago because if the water if touching me, then it's also touching potential germs and viruses and rashes, and the water will spread to non-contaminated parts of me, and spread it there, and so on. ive convinced myself that i somehow have mrsa??? i know that in less than a week, i'll be okay again, but ocd is ocd. writing these out actually help a lot; reminds me that even though my fears are valid and justified, obsessing the way i do is a bit silly.
if you have ocd, and youre still reading, heres a coping tip (this works for all ocd's btw) (currently the only thing keeping me from running to urgent care "just to be sure"). let's say theres a spot on your arm, dont tell yourself that "its not (fill in the blank), its not ____, its not ____, its nothing contagious!!" because youre only feeding into the fear. instead, imagine the worst case scenario head on. you have to. otherwise you'll just be running from the fears you obsess over for the rest of your life.
you have to imagine the worst case scenario, and then walk yourself through it all working out. like, i also have a fear of cars. ever since i was a kid, i would imagine them flipping over, me getting impaled by whatever i was holding, flying out the window, getting crushed, ect, the only reason i can even get into a car is because i imagine the worst case, and then picture everything working out. the car flipped over? im okay, a trip to the hospital and im home within a few days. or what about something like pink eye? worst case, i get it in both eyes. does that suck? yeah. is it scary? yeah. BUT people get pink eye, and then they. get. better. they wash their hands after touching their eyes, wash their pillow case, put some eye drops in, and move on with their life. i have to be able to do that. i have to be able to continue living.
so yeah, i was afraid to shower. but i did. i dont think i have mrsa. but even if i do, the sun stays warm, the earth spins, and it will heal and go away. if i have it, i will live as i did last week, but be a bit more careful, and change the bandaid out. i will have to contintue to live. just as everyone else.
if you're still reading this, and you have ocd, you'll be okay. stop getting stuck in your head, you know your brain is a little off, thats not good, but it is okay. you're okay. the earth still spins, the moon still rises. if all is not well, dont panic, because all will be well.
