#setupwizard

The Tamagotchi is loaded with new features, and it’s a global device available in 7 languages. The initial setup wizard or quiz as Bandai called it back on the Tamagotchi Pix is a critical part of the unboxing experience.

A recent TikTok video posted by tamaverso reveals the initial setup wizard experience and some overall gameplay of the Uni. The initial screens often wizard ask for language, time and date, along with date format, your name, and birthday. Then you’re asked for your region, which seems to be critical for the overall experience.

Whoops, everything is awful!

Great series finale right? Billy Broadview (Me) got his dream job and flew off into the sunset. An oversized storybook slowly closed and we faded to credits, which I would like to imagine rolled over a punkrock cover of ‘Do You Believe in Magic’.

News Update: 2020 happened!

Turns out, crafting a sufficiently powerful and precise magical solution to a unique unknown pathogen takes roughly the same amount of time and resources as the muggles and their nomaj medical science. It is literally anyone's guess who will get there first at this rate. We learned early on that Pepperup isn’t enough, and are quickly learning that this is what happens when your entire healthcare system revolves around a single potion from the 12th century.

In addition to that, not to be outdone by the muggle governing bodies, a spectacular mishandling of the entire pandemic by The Ministry of Magic has left all of us at varying degrees of screwed.

Which brings us to the other big news. The story that has everybody losing their minds. The tabloid meltdown of the century.

Hogwarts did not open.

There was speculation when The Prophet News Podcast leaked it all the way back in August, but for once they actually had the story correct.

The big day was postponed a week. Then two. Now we are an entire month past our normal opening day. Classes have finally resumed, but are now being conducted entirely through Floom webcam meetings. This decision was in no part related to the fact that I created that service, and is certainly not an attempt on my part to force clients onto my latest startup.

There. All caught up? Awesome. Basically this entire semester is reliant on our jobs. IT Department working alone with only professors and those same old familiar creepy (and now entirely empty) hallways.

Regardless, if I have to suffer- I'm going to at least get some internet points for it. Buckle up ladies, gentlemen, and friends beyond the binary. Just when you thought 2020 couldn’t get any worse-

-We're Back!

Let’s address the erumpant in the room.

It finally happened. Hogwarts hit a wall harder than a first year missing the 9¾ deadline.

Everything is terrible and they finally made the call to switch to virtual classes. This is the thing that actually managed to shut the front gate for a semester. While we are on the subject, here is a friendly reminder of some various things that did not warrant the closure of Hogwarts-

- The petrification of students - The death of a student - The death of another student - A professor murdering the headmaster - War, literally on school grounds - Dolores Umbridge

But 2020 did it. We managed the unimaginable. We closed “magic school” and switched to online learning. Both wizard households and muggle-born homes are being tuned in remotely.

I’ll be keeping all the local hardware afloat. Billy is on site to troubleshoot his webcam service, which consists of roughly 90% teaching professors what the hell a webcam service is, and 10% him already trying to monetize it somehow. Emily is on broom duty for any off-site issues. She is currently somewhere in Essex teaching a third-year how to plug in a USB. 

I drew the short straw, have fun on PEBCAK duty you two!

The Hogwarts Express is collecting dust this year, but the Hot Mess Express is full steam ahead. Choo Choo!

We had our first "RED ALERT" today.

One of the professors sounded the alarm this morning. The reason, in his exact words- "A student had broken into the castle and was trying to attend his online class from within the Great Hall itself!”

Talk about a power move- Or it would have been, had it actually happened.

I didn't think we would have to explain floom backgrounds to our esteemed professors. That was my mistake. I guess he was just under the impression that his students were genuinely attending classes whilst underwater, or in space, or sitting in the middle of a Studio Ghibli film.

Which yeah, magic school, fair assumption to make.

Excerpt from incoming call-

Emily: “Hey this is Em. How can I help?”

Professor:  “Computer is on fire.”

Emily: “I’m going to need you to repeat that again.”

Professor: “My computer. It is currently on fire.”

Emily: “What? Wait, how-”

Professor: “I was making a weird noise and then it sparked a little and now it is on fire.”

Emily: “Well put the fire out! Do that first!”

Professor: “Which keyboard buttons do I press for that?”

Emily: “Sir! Pour water on your computer!”

As a professional (who does not wish to be fired) I cannot verify the validity of this chat log-

Professor:  "Can somebody please come and check my webcam? The students keep telling me that I look “sus”. While I do  not understand the slang of these youths I’m assuming something is wrong with my video quality.”

Billy: “So this question may seem a bit weird, but what color robes do you tend to wear on camera?”

Professor:  “Now that you mention it, it is not a weird question at all. I’ve been wearing my best blue robes and that color does seem to come up while they are-”

JD-

Let’s talk fast food.

Were you expecting a segue into this topic? It’s me. I’m the segue!

When it comes to being a muggle living in a primarily wizarding area, DoorDash is absolutely terrifying! Our version runs via the floo powder network. You're just relaxing on your couch playing Animal Crossing, harvesting some pumpkins for your October DIYs, and without warning an ominous cloaked wizardly figure manifests from the very embers of your fireplace clutching a sealed bag of McDonald's Spicy Nuggets.

Yes, admittedly the convenience is nice. Execution has a little to be desired.

It's still less terrifying than actually going somewhere.