#billybroadview

As a professional (who does not wish to be fired) I cannot verify the validity of this chat log-

Professor:  "Can somebody please come and check my webcam? The students keep telling me that I look “sus”. While I do  not understand the slang of these youths I’m assuming something is wrong with my video quality.”

Billy: “So this question may seem a bit weird, but what color robes do you tend to wear on camera?”

Professor:  “Now that you mention it, it is not a weird question at all. I’ve been wearing my best blue robes and that color does seem to come up while they are-”

Unlike my boss, I know exactly where to begin. The same place he did. Hello, my name is Billy Broadview, and as of today I am officially a member of the IT Department at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

You read that correctly, and presuming you’ve followed us from the begining you already know exactly what that entails. Myself, Jonathan Dart, and Emily Vargo are the front line for all things technical at Hogwarts. Be that WiFi trouble, acceptance emails, teaching ancient Professors how to format a Word document, or outhacking a Wizard with a grudge from a Nintendo 3DS (you’re welcome).

But all of that chaos aside, I’d like to think that our real job is keeping Witches and Wizards such as myself a little more grounded in reality through logic, humor, and compassion. And, while I’ve given him more headaches than I can count over the last 3 years, I can say without question that my mentor Jonathan has done that job better than anybody else ever could have. For that, we thank you sir.

As for me, it’s day one and I already know exactly what my first project will be. An app that updates house points in real time for students. All I need is Adalina’s permission to bend The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office’s Article 38 and hook an electric scale to the hourglasses. Shouldn’t be too hard, I’m friends with her fiancee.

But I digress, I have to get to work- and considering most of you have probably been reading this blog at your office desk while nobody is looking, I’ll assume you do too.

For the final time, this is your in-house magical information technology guy, a Setup Wizard of sorts, signing out.

10,000 IT points for everybody

Billy Broadview here, not to cause havoc this time around! Unless you count emotional distress.

Those who have been paying attention to the blog know that last year was my 7th year. So sadly, yes, I am a free man, meaning you won’t be hearing about my crazy Hogwarts high jinks this year. I know, it’s ok to get emotional. I’m amazing and you’re all clearly going to miss it.

But cheer up. I still have access to the account, primarily because no matter what Johnathan does he can’t seem to get rid of me. So this isn’t a goodbye, but a hello. I’m taking some time off before officially job hunting. Turns out spending half your time at school working on freemium apps gives a man some financial cushioning, and I was just in time because that market is literally collapsing right now. 

Now, off to find the next big thing. I have this kind of out there idea where a developer could theoretically release a product at a set price, and that price would include the entire experience without the need of additional micro-transactions or a premium loot drop system.

It’s pretty wild, and I have no data to show if it would ever actually work, but hey? Nothing ventured? 

JD (Totally not Billy Broadview Emulating Jonathan)-

Hey it’s me Jonathan. For reals guys. Sorry I haven’t been updating. I’ve been far too busy being a snarky buzzkill picking apart whimsy for my own amusement. Boy oh boy is the mind-blowing fun and adventure of magic lost on me entirely.

Hey you know how Wizards use magic quills with unlimited ink instead of just using pens? That sure is convoluted, which is an original idea I just had which makes me clever. 

E♥V (Seriously. No way this is just Billy Broadview again)

Hey look the text is bold now so it has to be Emily. Nobody else can format text like this, checkmate!

I’m a witch so I can’t do that same updates as Jonathan, mine get to be in reverse! Oh boy isn’t No-maj society super crazy, am I right? That’s a real word I use because I’m from Canada. It’s totally real and just as valid as Muggle and in no way a silly lesser off brand version.

Jess Faux! (Ssssshhhh it’s really me, not that beautiful and talented Billy Broadview)

Hey it’s Jessica! You know how Johnathan and Emily sign the top of their posts and Adalina signs the bottom? I do both because reasons. Check out my sick signature at the bottom of my post. It was so cool when I invented it 20 years ago on MSN Messenger. (Seriously that came out in 1999, sorry if you just realized how old you are)

I’m a Metamorphmagus. That means I can change my face to look however I want, and yet I seem to miraculously neglect to use that power to find a boyfriend cooler than Jonathan. 

Billy Broadview making an appearance from the far far mystical land of Boyle,   Ireland (ohhhh maaaaagical) because Easter holiday lined up with my birthday this year! Boom, yay me! Cake and I don’t even need to go to class.

Now sadly they still don’t let me do magic outside of school, which is a shame because I have a new one I learned where I can colour eggs and then make them grow legs and run around. The dogs would’ve loved that!