....so I am switching to Vodka :)
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....so I am switching to Vodka :)

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How and Why I Quit Smoking Weed
I knew that weed was only holding me back from the other things I wanted to do in life. Instead of looking forward to spending time in nature, pursuing art or hobbies, I was looking forward to smoking a bowl. I realized my whole life revolved around it.
Are you struggling to quit smoking weed/marijuana? Or maybe you’re wondering why it’s such a big deal to some people in the first place. This unique perspective on one woman’s journey to quit her dependence on marijuana takes a nuanced, balanced approach to an often misunderstood issue. my ‘safe’ drug Ah, marijuana. Everyone’s favorite gateway drug. It’s relaxing, ups your appetite, and is…
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[photo from flickr :: creative commons :: Brad Choi]
* * * *
“For the ambitious children of the bourgeoisie, high achievers raised on Adderall, Xanax, and a raft of discreet legal narcotics, drugs are the norm just to get to sleep, to deal with anxiety, to avoid crushing bouts of abjection and the relentless pressures to exceed and excel. In the hood, promethazine, the syrup of Houston, became the fashionable coping agent for those living in the free-fire zones of America, where turf wars regulated with cheap handguns cut down lives in a vicious spiral. From so many points of view, then, one looks out into the Trump era with a prevailing numbness, nihilism, cruelty, ambient anxiety, disarticulation seeping in from all sides. The music records all this. It sounds like this. Future’s lyrics are mocked for their lack of sophistication, but the veritable pharmacopeia in his verses is not dishonest or inarticulate about an affect that is pervasive, or its origins… A preoccupation with depression, mental health, a confused and terrible desire for dissociation: this is a fundamental sensibility shared by a generation.”
— Jesse McCarthy, Notes on Trap
Hi, I've been doong research and I might have mild ADHD. But now that I have learned some healthy coping mechanisms and my life situation got better, I don't feel as bad as I did a few months ago, and those symptoms don't affect my life much. It makes me afraid that I am deluding myself and I fear being ridiculed if I bring up my doubts. I've been trying SO HARD to understand myself and live a better life, do you think I could have learned to live with mild ADHD without knowing I have it?
Yes, you totally could’ve learned to live with it. Lots of people aren’t diagnosed with adhd until a lot later in life, some people even as late as their 60’s, and they never knew they had adhd, either because they assumed everyone else experienced the same things as them, or because they’ve learned to live with it.
For you, it might be a mixture of both, as there are quite a few lesser-known symptoms that people either assume everyone experiences, or that they think is just something they do that makes them weird. (For example, being overly emotional.)
(Side Note: If you drink a lot of caffeine, then you might be unconsciously self-medicating, which could be why you’re feeling a bit better.)
Flip it.
You gotta flip it Nikki.
What do you mean?
You take the dialog of whatever stream is coming to you at any given moment and flip it like a pancake, flip it into not yourself, but into a character for whom the dialog can be more true then it is for you and if this fails then just keep flipping it, tossing it, launching it into outer space until you have something to really work with. You don’t merely have anxiety — well, yes, you do, a little, but you also have a brain that was built for overdrive and for voices and endless variations of conversations and the engine is always running of its own accord and when you’re not shifting it into higher gears of place and setting and accents and backstory your energies will merely manifest as physical stress and anxiety. And so, take that brain and give it something to focus on. It will be uncomfortable at first but your brain above many others was built to process and work with the many voices of all nations, even if those nations were only ever invented by your own mad self. Any given wanna-be artist would kill for access to such genius and you are in tangible possession of it. Stop self medicating and let the river flow. Yeah, you go now, sober up and get to work.

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The best 5 Dangers of Self-Medicating for Common Ailments
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Learning was my first drug, my oldest form of self-medicating.
—from In the Form of a Question: The Joys and Rewards of a Curious Life by Amy Schneider