My mom, who loves horses, calls me the dog whisperer.

Our backyard, in my teenhood, was deemed ‘Molly’s Peaceable Kingdom.’

Rabbits 🐇 galore.

(I have lots of pics on my secondary DevArt)

Children love me.

I’m not super harsh like other teachers. I genuinely try to act like enough of a goof to get their attention that way, instead of snapping at them.

My mother also calls me the absent-minded professor because I’ll forget what I’m doing 6 minutes into it and get so lost in thought I cannot physically hear other people. Heh.

(I have a poem about that.)

I’m that crazy entertaining professor you had in college (except in primary/mid/high school form).

In the classroom, I am the definition of Chaotic Good.

(I have a post about that.)

Like my Latin teacher, my mentor, who stood on his desk to get the attention of his class when they were being too loud.

God I love that guy.

I just got them good vibes.

But you get me online

and some kind of switch flips in my mind.

I just waded into the realm of politics and kids dying

and animal abuse and I am a-spoilin’ for a fight.

My Jekyll and Hyde.

(I have a poem about that too.)

Most of the time I can hold my real temper, but more recently the problem is just plain old cutting sarcasm.

The irony being of course, that when people use the ‘say something they don’t actually believe’ type of sarcasm IRL, I am totally blind to it. I scratch my head and go, ‘Uh what?’

I miss the tone of voice or whatever.

(I have a poem about that.)

The brand of sarcasm I’m talking about though, is the kind where you say what you mean precisely, just do it in a really biting way ... sometimes to get the point across.

The Truthful vs. Deceitful sarcasm.

Sociolinguistics-me wonders how language evolved to name two such different things the same term? Weirdd.

It’s also always been strange to me that people like sarcastic characters but often not sarcastic people IRL.

Anyway. As my neuroanatomy instructor taught me, and psychology tells us, we unconsciously mirror our environment.

(I have a poem about that.)

So, even though I ‘self-monitor’ to the point of generalized and social anxiety IRL, I have somehow developed a habit of not employing that same self-check while I am in mindlessly scrolling, internet-tunnel-vision mode.

The internet has always been where everyone gets to be the most genuine version of themselves, (if they use it that way, that is) and sometimes that unfortunately means being genuinely snarky.

Haha.

(BTW, I have one singular FAQ so far, since idk I just don't get that much engagement ig)

-Our energy is pretty low, we don't even feel like doing the basics or lack the will to do them (it's not procrastination) -Relationships that usually make us rejoice and give us strenght, feel not important anymore (we feel apathetic about them) -We don't recognize ourself when we look in the mirror: it feels like we're looking at someone else (or just see flaws everywhere, even where we've never seen them) -We have unexplainable (at times sudden) aches in our body, especially neck, shoulders, legs and back/belly areas -Our stomach and belly might start to hurt or we may have digestive problems (usually anxiety can show up like this) -We lack the motivation to do our job, to study, or in reaching any of our personal goal (we see no point in doing that as we cannot see ourself ever succeeding) -We kinda lose hope in the world and humanity or see them in a more negative light than usual -We space out often or feel like spacing out; we lose track of time, feel numb and may forget things more easily

The last trick of the ego.

Why a person without an ego is always a teacher, and why it's not your fault if you don't get rid of your ego? Because it's a scam. When a teacher promotes “ego-death” or “freedom from ego,” failure is built into the student, success into the teacher.

The student tries to drop the ego. Of course it doesn’t work, because the ego is a survival and regulation system, not a belief you can turn off. So what happens? The ego reappears in a more refined form monitoring thoughts, policing reactions, watching for traces of “self,” correcting emotions, suppressing anger, manufacturing calm. Control increases. Tension increases. Suffering increases. The student feels they are “not there yet.”

Now comes the teacher’s move. The teacher does not revise the theory. Instead, they interpret the student’s difficulty as evidence of remaining ego. “You’re still identified.” “You’re trying too hard.” “You’re not letting go.” The failure is always located in the student’s insufficient surrender, never in the model itself. The teacher has the biggest ego of all. It's the emperor's naked clothes.

Meanwhile, the teacher declares success by position, not by test. They speak from the standpoint of someone who has “seen through the ego,” “abides as awareness,” or “is free from phenomena.” This status is not falsifiable. You cannot check it. If you question it, that doubt itself is labeled ego. The teacher wins by definition.

Success is always somewhere the student is not, and therefore cannot verify. It exists in the teacher’s claimed realization, tone, authority, or charisma not in observable outcomes like reduced harm, increased agency, or improved conditions. This creates a closed loop. The practice fails so the student is blamed. The teacher is unchallenged, his authority increases. The student's ego tightens and his suffering deepens. The doctrine remains intact. It is a self-sealing hierarchy.

And notice the final irony, the more sincerely the student tries to eliminate the ego, the more self-monitoring, self-judgment, and internal control they generate. The practice produces the very thing it claims to dissolve. When this is pointed out, the teacher calls it “the teacher calls it “the last trick of the ego.” This is not liberation. It is a system that converts structural impossibility into personal inadequacy, while insulating authority from scrutiny.

So frustrated with people who dwell in piles of their own shit and then complain about the stench