#selectednotexpected

Hey friends! So I wanted to give somewhat of an overview of my adoption story so you dont have to scroll through almost 900 post to figure out what I am talking about!! 

My name is Aerial and I am twenty-six years old. I am from Virginia here in the U.S. I was born as a twin. By the time we were four months old we were taken out of our biological home and placed in foster care. Not only were we placed, my older sister Quan was placed, my first cousin was placed and we all were basically seperated however the social workers kept me and my twin brother together. 

I recently found out that my birth mother P. did not leave us in an apartment by ourselves ( me, my twin brother, Quan, and two of our first cousins) her late sister did. Between the ages of four months to nine years old left with a druggie alcoholic lady. 

My birth mother raised all Hell in the social workers office trying to get us back but unfourtnately over the course of the next five years she was deemed unstable to care for her five children.  My foster parents now my adoptive parents had just secured three acres of land, built a two story house and had two kids naturally. We were legally adopted by the time we were seven years old.

I found out I was adopted around the age of eleven or twelve however I had a feeling around nine that I was different and I started asking questions. I am Black and my adoptive family is Black so nobody really mentioned anything. “Why are their no baby baby pictures of me?” “ Why are there no ultrasound pictures of me? Nobody really had the answers for me. I was putting clothes in the washing machine in the basement and I tripped over a small box. I picked up all the letters to put them back and one had my name on it but my name was different. It was court case papers that confirmed my adoption. My mom found out and she was not very happy. 

Condensed Version

I found my biological siblings on facebook and we met in the summer of 2010. My birth mother called me on my 18th birthday we had a secret phone relationship until I met her in a hospital for people with mental conditons. I met my birth mother’s father side of the family and my biological father in the course of the next three years. 

I started this blog in 2013, I think, just to really get my thoughts down becaue I didnt really have anyone to really talk to honestly about how I felt and found a beautiful community of adoptees, people who dealt with foster care, adoptive parents, biological parents, and advocates of the adoption triad. 

Yes I have been on this journey since I nine. I have experience the positvie and the not so positive...trying to escape generational traps, being a good daughter to both my mom and birth mother, acceptance and rejection...and the joy of being an Aunt to all these kids that I adore with my whole heart ( three nephews and two nieces). I can truly say I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could and I hope sharing my story will inspire you to do to the same.

Feel free to reach out to me. PM me for contact info outside of tumblr. Take care of yourself! 

I have always known that my twin brother was not interested in biological family. It was apparent when we were kids catching on to our personality difference from our younger siblings and the fact that we looked different from our parents. My twin felt like he was not wanted and that’s why we ended up here. I felt like something must have went terribly wrong and that’s why we ended up here.

He told me Saturday night that he was not interested and is still not interested. I understand. I do. I asked him “ What about your son?” He said “ He has me?” and who do you have? He said “ I have you.” ( Basically thats what he said) I thought to myself...this is where my issues start with my twin. I usually do the work and he comes up the rear and bennefits but people tend to gravitate to him more. I researched birth family names, I met people, I formed relationships, I did all these things and then he’s is able to just be connected. I have been called jealous for that. I am not jealous. I am angry because he had the same opportunities to make the same strides I did but because of his preconceived notion that he wasn’t wanted ( when clearly he was) and the lack of an open mind and being “content with his situation” ...I have been handling all of it and basically including him the the tagline. I guess your cant have Aerial without Aaron being to far behind. 

Sib-stravaganza!

We had a ball!

It’s A Sibs-travaganza!

I am so hyped for the Sibs-travaganza about to go down in DFW this weekend! For the first time EVER…7 out of 8 of “The Sibs” will gather together in one place! It’s about to go down! 😬

I AM!

After more than 47 years, I finally got a copy of my original birth certificate!  Thanks to the New Jersey Coalition for Adoption Reform and Education’s(NJCARE) 34 years of lobbying to pass the birth-records bill, adoptees, like me, have been able to receive a copy of their original birth certificate since January 2017.  

Once I ripped open the envelope, I carefully studied devoured the information captured on each line.  Today I learned so many things about myself that most people take for granted; pieces of the puzzle that I have been looking to connect for years.

The time I was born - 8:32 p.m!

How much I weighed - a chunky 8 lbs and 1 oz!

My original name at birth! I shared it on this old post.

The name of the hospital and the doctor who delivered me!  

Many adoptees desire to gain a deeper understanding of their roots, some need crucial information about their medical history or just want to connect to a part of themselves that has remained a mystery for most of their lives - knowledge of self is a birth rite.  

FACTS: Source: After Years Apart, Adoptees and Birth Families are Together Again [New Jersey Monthly, October 2017]

1. According to a 2001 academic report by University of Baltimore School of Law professor Elizabeth J. Samuels, the paperwork birth parents signed did not promise them anonymity, and adoption records were sealed to protect adoptive families from birth parents, not to protect birth parents from adult adoptees.

2. The American Adoption Congress reports that, in eight states where a total of 44,000 records were requested, less than 2 percent of birth parents—only 757—asked to have their names removed from records.

2b. The bill included a 30-month waiting period, which allowed birth parents time to ask the state to redact their names if they wished.

3. By August 2017, more than 3,500 birth certificates had been mailed to  adoptees anxiously awaiting to learn more about themselves.

SibsGiving Was Awesome!

The Sibs and I had an amazing time in Texas.  When they say they do it bigger in Texas, they are telling the truth.  We were greeted with bigger smiles, bigger hugs and great energy by our new family!

PHOTO: A night on the town.

PHOTO: We got to meet our Sibs, Sibs, now we are all Sibs!

MEET THE SIBS!

Thankful : National Adoption Awareness Month : THE SIBS

Amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye!  Especially when you are open to the possibilities.  I mean, you think life is one way, then BOOM, it changes!

That’s what happened to me on August 10th. While driving to work, I did my normal routine of praying and asking The Ancestors to give me yet another amazing day filled with blessings, fun and abundance. I really didn’t think too much of it. Then just like that, what happened next changed my entire life for the awesome!

Let me start from the beginning.  While perusing Facebook, I found a direct message from a ‘stranger’ asking me to check my 23andMe.com account because their tests results said I was their…DIG THIS…SISTER!

Yep, that was my face. I was sitting at my desk and sorta looked around to see if anyone was looking at me.  I’m not sure if I gasped or made any other sound but I was certainly semi-shocked.  To ensure I wasn’t bugging or being punked; I immediately called my sister and ran it by her, just to be sure.

After a bit of sleuthing, we confirmed that indeed, I had been “found” by my new siblings…with an “s”!   You heard me right!  I had not ONE but TWO new siblings - twins to be exact! How cool was that?!  There was no denying because in addition to the DNA results, they actually looked a lot like my family members.  

PHOTO: Shannon & Shawn

PHOTO: This was our first “SIBS” photo together! (Look at those teeth and cheeks!)

That night we Skyped until the wee hours of the morning and have all been inseparable ever since, affectionately dubbing ourselves, “THE SIBS”! In early October, a few of my closest family and friends, came from far and wide, for a “MEET THE SIBS” party, to share in our excitement.  

Check us out.

Cute, right?!

PHOTO: We even had matching “line” shirts (in birth order)

PHOTO: Look! ...just like sisters, already having a group “primp session” in the mirror!

PHOTO: JerZ was D-Double-E-P!

PHOTO: My Sorors/Linesisters/friends came to share in the love!

PHOTO: Even my honorary sibling, Chers (#9), stopped them in the airport to wish them well!

Though this is just the beginning, we are all excited to see what awesomeness life has in store for us. Just in this iteration - we have more people to love!

What a wonderful way to start the season of giving thanks and to close out National Adoption Month!  We are heading to spend our first “SibsGiving” together! Cheers to love, peace, abundance, health and wealth for all of “THE SIBS”!