#adoptionmatters

Hey friends! So I wanted to give somewhat of an overview of my adoption story so you dont have to scroll through almost 900 post to figure out what I am talking about!! 

My name is Aerial and I am twenty-six years old. I am from Virginia here in the U.S. I was born as a twin. By the time we were four months old we were taken out of our biological home and placed in foster care. Not only were we placed, my older sister Quan was placed, my first cousin was placed and we all were basically seperated however the social workers kept me and my twin brother together. 

I recently found out that my birth mother P. did not leave us in an apartment by ourselves ( me, my twin brother, Quan, and two of our first cousins) her late sister did. Between the ages of four months to nine years old left with a druggie alcoholic lady. 

My birth mother raised all Hell in the social workers office trying to get us back but unfourtnately over the course of the next five years she was deemed unstable to care for her five children.  My foster parents now my adoptive parents had just secured three acres of land, built a two story house and had two kids naturally. We were legally adopted by the time we were seven years old.

I found out I was adopted around the age of eleven or twelve however I had a feeling around nine that I was different and I started asking questions. I am Black and my adoptive family is Black so nobody really mentioned anything. “Why are their no baby baby pictures of me?” “ Why are there no ultrasound pictures of me? Nobody really had the answers for me. I was putting clothes in the washing machine in the basement and I tripped over a small box. I picked up all the letters to put them back and one had my name on it but my name was different. It was court case papers that confirmed my adoption. My mom found out and she was not very happy. 

Condensed Version

I found my biological siblings on facebook and we met in the summer of 2010. My birth mother called me on my 18th birthday we had a secret phone relationship until I met her in a hospital for people with mental conditons. I met my birth mother’s father side of the family and my biological father in the course of the next three years. 

I started this blog in 2013, I think, just to really get my thoughts down becaue I didnt really have anyone to really talk to honestly about how I felt and found a beautiful community of adoptees, people who dealt with foster care, adoptive parents, biological parents, and advocates of the adoption triad. 

Yes I have been on this journey since I nine. I have experience the positvie and the not so positive...trying to escape generational traps, being a good daughter to both my mom and birth mother, acceptance and rejection...and the joy of being an Aunt to all these kids that I adore with my whole heart ( three nephews and two nieces). I can truly say I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could and I hope sharing my story will inspire you to do to the same.

Feel free to reach out to me. PM me for contact info outside of tumblr. Take care of yourself! 

I have always known that my twin brother was not interested in biological family. It was apparent when we were kids catching on to our personality difference from our younger siblings and the fact that we looked different from our parents. My twin felt like he was not wanted and that’s why we ended up here. I felt like something must have went terribly wrong and that’s why we ended up here.

He told me Saturday night that he was not interested and is still not interested. I understand. I do. I asked him “ What about your son?” He said “ He has me?” and who do you have? He said “ I have you.” ( Basically thats what he said) I thought to myself...this is where my issues start with my twin. I usually do the work and he comes up the rear and bennefits but people tend to gravitate to him more. I researched birth family names, I met people, I formed relationships, I did all these things and then he’s is able to just be connected. I have been called jealous for that. I am not jealous. I am angry because he had the same opportunities to make the same strides I did but because of his preconceived notion that he wasn’t wanted ( when clearly he was) and the lack of an open mind and being “content with his situation” ...I have been handling all of it and basically including him the the tagline. I guess your cant have Aerial without Aaron being to far behind. 

<<<<<< Trigger Warning >>>>

Yesterday my less than sober dad came to the house and my mom was not particularly in the mood for it. I was sitting on the bed making sure my dad didnt touch my knee or my leg brace. My sister Meme was on the other side. It was raining and my dad was trying to get me to ride to the store with him and Meme. I cant drive at the moment. My mom said I shouldnt go because I could slip on the porch or slide on the steps. My intoxicated dad ( Meme was going to drive) said “ I am her father and she can go!” I said “ technically he is” as a joke. I like to pop a few here and there. Meme said “ Who is your father? Melvin?” I said “ No that’s my grandfather.” My mom said “ T.”  Meme said “ Oh that’s right! I said “ Thats what they told me but who knows? “ Again another joke. Meme said “ Are you a bastard child?” in a serious tone. My mom nipped the convo in the bud right there because I think it started to get a little sensitive for her.

Am I a bastard child? Well my bio parents were not married...ever. So I was born out of wedlock I guess. I never really explored my feelings about my biological father. He was in jail when I was an infant but I have the letter he wrote from jail and I met him about three or four years ago. I feel a void but honestly not as big as the one that I felt before I met my birth mother. 

There is some saddness that lingers. I dont know if I can trust the info that I have or the fact that B. could be my bio father. I decided that had gone far enough in my journey of finging answers. This is the only stone that I have yet to unturn and its a little more complicated than I anticipated. A DNA test would turn the stone over but I havent gotten there yet. I dont know if things will get there.

Biological Family

Birth Mother: P. Biological Father: T Siblinging on my birth mother side: Roddy (brother), Tee (sister), Quan ( sister), A. ( twin brother)

Sibling my my biological father side: S. ( sister) Quan ( sister) A. ( twin brother)

So me, Quan and A. are full siblings.  However... Tee and Roddy’s father believe’s I am his biological dauther because I look exactly like his son! There has been no DNA test done though. So do I know who my biological father is for real? Nope but I love all of my siblings. 

Adoptive Family 

Momma: S. Dad: N. Siblingings: Wil ( brother) Meme ( sister)

My parents fostered me and my twin from five months old to about seven years old. In that time span she was able to have two children naturally. She thought she couldnt have kids initially and thats why she became a fostered parent. Boom! She ended up with four kids. My twin and I was seven, Wil was five, and Meme was probaby a year old.  I am the oldest of four and the second youngest of six. I am older than my twin brother. Talk about awkward middle child!