#scrubsquote

J.D.: Dr Cox [Dr Cox doesn’t answer] J.D.:Dr Cox [He still doesn’t answer] J.D.: Big Cheese Dr Cox: Yes [Not far away we hear the noise of whistling. Later Dr Kelso is revealed to be the source of the whistling. He enters the hospital with Ted] J.D (narating): If your wondering why Dr. Kelso’s nose is whistling [as he speaks we go back in time] about a week ago he was torturing Elliot and well… [In the flashback Perry punches Dr. Kelso on the nose. We then come to the present day]

Dr. Moyer: These are my machines! Carla: Sir— Dr. Moyer: MY MACHINES! Turk: Whose machines? Dr. Moyer: MY MACHINES! J.D.: [to Turk] How was that helpful?

Dr. Cox: And Gandheroo, I need you to talk to a young, pregnant black girl who will not let me call her mom. Turk: Why would she listen to me? Dr. Cox: I may have told her that you were Kanye West. Turk: I’m actually alright with that.

Carla: Christopher! Turk: Christopher? You only call me that when you’re mad at me… or when we’re having sex. Baby, are you mad when we’re having sex? Carla: …Sometimes.

J.D.: [narration] There comes a time when every man needs to make a choice, whether it’s a professional choice or whether it’s a personal choice. In the end, it’s about integrity, and it’s about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes… well, sometimes you just have to do what’s right for your friend, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.

Elliot: You know, Dr Cox, you think that you have seen it all and done it all, but guess what? You haven’t done me.[Storms off.] [Everyone turns to stare at Cox.] Dr. Cox: Give her a second there, gang. Elliot: [Coming back.] That didn’t come out right.

Dr. Cox: I want you to spread the word, missy. I’ve… had… enough. The next whiny intern that comes in here looking to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aisha, I’m going to hurt them. And you, you neurotic one-woman freak-show, take your blah-blah to the blah-blah-ologist. Because if you are so stupid as to confront the Chief of Medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you’ve just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he’s drunk at the wheel! Elliot: So, you’re telling me I have to pick my battles. Thanks, Dr. Cox. [Walks off] Dr. Cox: [confused] You’re welcome.

Dr. Cox: [To annoying patient] Okay, think of what little patience I have as, oh, I don't know, your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well, he dropped by and he brought a copy of About Last Night and a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes and badaow, it was gone forever—just like my patience is now.