Ron/Cormac: On Scrotal  Musculature and Pluralisation
This is for @synonym-for-lifeâ and @frnklymrshnklyâ and everyone who has ever said đ¤đ¤đ¤ when reading smut.
Ronâs nose scrunched in bemusement as he studied the book resting on his legs, When Wands Collide. âCan scrotums be muscled?â
Behind the sofa, Cormac paused mid-squat and peered down at his crotch apprehensively. His blue eyes shone with what Ron thought was self-consciousness as he asked, âWhat?â
âThis erotica,â Ron said, waving the book in the air, âjust described the Unspeakableâs bollocks as muscled. âFernandoâs balls are firm, virile, and muscled, never wrinkled or saggy, and Lucretio needs to feel their weight in his handâ.â
Cormac paused his workout, and Ron made a mental note that one way to get Cormac to take a break from his circuits, apparently, was to raise the semantics of balls. Generally, Cormac just talked through his exertion, peppering his conversations with grunts and heaves. Ron could do without the grunts and heavesâhe didnât even like the grunts and heaves mid-fuck, much less in the middle of a discussion about renewing their Muggle identities with the Ministry because they were about to expire (a conversation that had happened while Cormac was doing burpees, just yesterday).
Cormac peered over Ronâs shoulder, his sweaty hair brushing Ronâs cheek. âWhere?â
Ron pointed, holding the book up to give Cormac a better view. âIs it scrotums?â Ron asked, thoughtful.
âTwo scrotes. Is it âscrotumsâ?â
âYah, I think,â Cormac said. âOr could be scrota. Is it, like, Latin?"
âI just donât understand how it could be muscled,â Ron said, and itâs not as if he didnât have plenty of first-hand experience with scotums. Scrota.
âI mean, it has to have muscles, though,â Cormac said. âIt moves.â He paused. âSometimes.â
âWell, fuck, yeah but my eyelids also have musclesâbecause reflexes and shitâand you wouldnât describe my eyelids as muscled.â Ron heard a strange noise and turned to see what Cormac was doing. âWhy are you dropping trou?â
âResearch, bro,â Cormac said, pulling his beefy legs out of his shorts.
Ron moved away slightly, concerned about what this scrotum research might involve. If it involved weights, Ron wanted to be a good distance away. âPlease donât try to hang weights off your balls,â Ron pleaded. âI donât have the wherewithal to explain that at St Mungoâs.â
Cormac honked a laugh and slapped Ron on the shoulder. âNah, mate, thatâs not what I meant by research. Iâm just going to see how strong your scrote is, despite its wrinkles.â He raised an eyebrow. âUnless you want me to go back to my circuits?â
Ron hopped up. âResearch is good.â