#school rules

Greetings, fellow fugitives—I mean, students! You’re listening to School Rules Radio, courtesy of Spencer’s Private School for Enterprising Girls. We’ve got the news, we’ve got the gossip, we’ve got all you could possibly want and more—anything to keep you listening!

I’m your newshawk and host, Sunny, I’ve got the stories so horrible they’ll fill your guts with lead!

Only joking, of course. Since this station’s endorsed by the school board, legally all of the darker things I say are jokes. And the Headmaster’s a right guy, wouldn’t want to upset him, hey? Not after what happened to the last girl who crossed him.

But y’know listeners, I really like my neck. I’m not in the business of losing it anytime soon, so let’s get on with the show.

When everyone’s gunning for the top, I think there’s a kind of comfort in indulging in some quality entertainment. Did you hear that? Quality entertainment. Not like the student paper.

God, have you seen the kind of stuff they’ve been publishing recently? Seems their best days are past. That’s not to say they had any good days, though. Sorry, Johnnie Rhodes, you’re old news!

Radio is the way to go, and I think that’s for the best.

Speaking of the best, the Language Arts test results are in, and unsurprisingly, Angel Salvatore has topped the class again! Great job, Angel! I’m sure your parents are proud.

Oh, wait.

Turns out you can’t have it all.

But you know who can? Darcy Spencer! Isn’t she just divine? There’s nobody quite like her, hey? Here at Spencer’s, we have a bit of a reputation for being… let’s say… cutthroat. And competition just brings the worst out of people, doesn’t it? It makes fools of us all. But not Darcy! She’s just above that. Which may go against our school motto, labor omnia vincit, sure, but it’s worth it when it’s her. She can break every rule, if you ask me.

Legally, I don’t actually mean that. We believe that all students should strive for ultimate greatness, no matter the cost. Even Darcy Spencer, who I wholeheartedly believe is above the system.

Ah, what was I talking about? Let’s see… the next football game has been cancelled because students have set fire to the field, as ‘payback,’ they claim. Sure, sisters. We all call it ‘payback’ every now and then. Nobody was harmed, sadly. Would’ve made for a good story if someone was caught in the fire. Alas, everyone is safe and sound.

Oh, here’s another thing; the cafeteria menu is changing: starting next week, the dinner menu will be completely changed to accommodate rising prices for the food. As if our families don’t spend enough money for us to go here. Taking away our everyday luxuries. I say we revolt, enough is enough!

Ha, just jokes, don’t worry. At the end of the day, I’m a quietly responsible, god-fearing, dutiful student who has no issues with our school, not a one.

Come to think of it, that’s probably the last joke I can make before the school board comes for my head. And would you look at that, it’s 8 PM already! My time’s up! One more time, this is School Rules Radio, your one-stop-shop for all the news you need to stay complacent! Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you next week, for the dux coverage!

ⲥⲁⲥⲟⲉⲧⲏⲉ𝛓 𝛓ⲥꞅⲓⲃⲉⲛⲇⲓ ─── ⲥⲁⲥⲟⲉⲧⲏⲉ𝛓 𝛓ⲥꞅⲓⲃⲉⲛⲇⲓ ─── ⲥⲁⲥⲟⲉⲧⲏⲉ𝛓 𝛓ⲥꞅⲓⲃⲉⲛⲇⲓ