#sarcarsm

Hey.

once upon a time I was an avid blogger. oh man, those were the days. you just documented your life, and made it look all cute and buttoned up, only for complete strangers to come around, comment and ask where you got your sweater.

that world became too filtered and contrived and required too much sharing. how much sharing do we really need to do? honestly. it’s like the followers wanted to join us in bed at night- well, that was done... by my now ex-husband... so, here we are.

I don't really want to come here and discuss “growth” and “change” because we all have our favorite quotes-a-gram for that. fuck it, right? no one wants to hear about it. aren’t we all quoted out by now?

in about two weeks i’ll be starting my first OFFICE job in seven years. ooof. 

you see, I've worked in a restaurant for the last seven years. first as a happy go lucky waitress, then as a sex-appeal bartender, and now as a worn down general manager. as luck would have it, on a day where I just wanted to blow my brains out and serve it as the soup du jour, an opportunity presented itself. after many interviews, a little bit of politics, and a lot of belief in me from others, I have landed my dream job.

in the same breath, I filed for a divorce from my husband. why walk to change when you can run? even if you haven’t run since you were a varsity athlete. and even then you hated running. 

but, now, i’m new to the office. 

to be honest, no one is more excited for this change and shift than me. 

“the universe aligns us when we ask for it.”

gag.

look, I actually do believe in synchronicity and the universe. I also believe in hard fucking work. you cant just “ask” the local indoor plant for something. you have to fucking work. you have to follow through. you have to chase it. you have to sweat it. dream about it. AND THEN AFTER ALL THAT YOU STILL MIGHT NOT GET IT BUT YOU MIGHT GET CLOSER.

put that in wordswag and quote it. 

I thought with all this change I could re-enter the writing world on my own terms. with anonymity (ish- lets be honest, the internet can figure out anything). and with something to finally discuss.

my goal? just to write. 

I have a feeling i’ll finally start sharing all the horrible experiences I've had in the restaurant, now that I cant lose my job for it. 

I have a feeling i’ll discuss the different lifestyle pace (you mean I wont be eating dinner at midnight? what are weekends off?)

and, I have a feeling i’ll talk about re-entering the dating world. 

it’s all new to me.

so, just so we’re clear moving forward:

1. I misuse commas. fucking deal with it.

2. I curse. I work in a high pressure atmosphere. I like cursing! I love the word “fuck”! i’m going to curse. take your jesus prayers and find another tumblr if that's offensive to you. 

3. i’m not going to bother proof reading this too diligently. i’m also not going to bother capitalizing words. I don't want to, okay?

4.i’m sarcastic and I've never been able to really write in that voice. my old blogs were watered down versions of myself because my mom read it. my think pieces that are floating around on the interwebz are a stylistic version of my writing. I want this to read like we’re talking! 

5.im new to tumblr, too. ive used WordPress, blogger (let’s all laugh at that together) but ive never entered the tumblr world. I feel old saying that (i’m not old- just have lived a few lives the last ten years) but hopefully i’ll pick up on the cool, hip, lingo soon. is 

5a. i’m really fucking excited. i’m excited to start new. I know that's unusual! but, it’s all been a blur and i’m excited to be present again. to be reinvigorated again. 

here’s hoping this works! 

cheers,