#samdeanjohn

john can never be satisfied with either of his sons because what he wants is completely different from what he needs. sam is the son that john wants, in theory: independent, stubborn, strong, matching his energy. but he will always be angry at sam because sam being this way prevents him from doing what john needs him to do, which is being a hunter who never questions an order, so john keeps yelling at him. and dean is the son that john needs: filling the role of wife for him and of mother for sam, taking care of the family, obeying any order without questioning it, not talking back, letting himself be used as bait and be sexualized or objectified if that’s what the hunt demands, eager to please john. but john can never respect dean because he sees dean’s obedience and caregiving as degrading behavior lacking masculinity, so he keeps humiliating him

one of the most important things about sam discovering dean and john in a sexual situation is that for the first time he has to view his big brother as vulnerable. it alters his whole perception of him and their family dynamic. he can never erase the image of dean looking small and open under their dad, the hurt muffled sounds he made, how he clung to john's shoulders like he enjoyed it all and also like he'd never think to push him away if he didn't.

something something john taking debaucherous polaroids of the boys when they were young and them finding them years later after john dies with no memory of them happening

um, full house of wincest where Sam and Dean cuddle up to John and he reads them a bedtime story okay bye

i love the scene where dean pretends to be from cps and then tells a mother that the way to cure their daughters mental issues is for the whole family to take a hot shower together, because "you know, the family that showers together..." also love that he is only interrupted because sully panics and starts yelling at dean to stop. anyways, yet another example that dean is an incestous pervert