#sad?

Affection was unfamiliar in Johnny’s mind. He thought it only came from earning it—if that. His whole childhood had been him getting pushed away, shoved into the background. So, he faded into the background; it made it hurt less. If he stayed out of the way, then his parents left him alone, and that’s how it went.

You had been raised in a loving household, where hugs were daily. Actions spoke just as loudly as words, naturally, you were a giver. Ready for a boy like Johnny Cade to come along and need you. 

You spent plenty of time baking him sweets, making him cards for each anniversary, and treating him gently. He wasn’t used to it, feeling guilty when he didn’t know how to return it with as much enthusiasm, or he made a hug awkward by accident. It took months for him to adjust to the affection. How he didn’t have to work hard for attention. That you were proud of him, no matter what. 

After school, Johnny came home with a test. You had been helping him out with homework, teaching him slowly. He had received his first B on a test, and when he showed you, he shrugged and kicked at a spot on the ground, hands deep in his pockets. “Johnny! Are you crazy? This is so good, baby! We should celebrate!” you exclaim, setting his paper on the table and pulling him into a hug. He jumps at the sudden movement, starting tense but slowly relaxing as you melted into his arms. “You ain’t gotta do nothin’ for me… It’s just a test,” he mumbles, his voice soft and quiet. He always seemed scared to talk, making your heart ache for him. “Of course I do. You got your first B,” you said, walking to your kitchen. Swiftly, you started pulling out ingredients. Chocolate ice cream, sprinkles, whipped cream, and strawberries instead of cherries. Johnny was surprised—it was so small, yet you made it seem so big. His other classmates wouldn’t think twice about a B. You made him a big ice cream sundae and one for yourself before placing it in front of him. He pulled your chair out, trying to be a gentleman. You grin, sitting. You both start to eat the sweet treat, giggling at jokes and talking about other things. 

“Ready to order folks?” A woman came up to your table, hand on her hip, a notepad in her hand, ready to write down whatever it was you wanted. 

“Yes, a pasta for me please” You looked away from him to look at her and smiled. 

“And for you, big fella?” The waitress asked as she shifted her gaze to Peter. 

“A steak for me” He said and handed her the menu. She took them and walked away. 

“How was your day, doll?” He said, putting his attention back on you as you picked your wine glass up again. 

“Not bad at all, missed you though, didn’t get to see you all day, you left so early this morning” You sigh, finally letting the teasing flirty facade go as you let him see you vulnerable, as he has multiple times before.

He watched you as you took small sips of your wine, the dark coloured drink gliding smoothly down your throat. He admired you in the light of the restaurant, everything in black and white. He put his hand over the table to hold onto your hand again. 

“You know,” He started softly, “sometimes you’re the only thing that feels real to me” he sighed softly and ran his calloused thumb over your soft knuckles. The contrast between the texture of your skins always drives him wild.

You raise an eyebrow, analysing him, your cheeks blush a colour that’s a shade between black and grey, a shade caught somewhere between shadow and smoke, a porpoise perhaps. 

“That sounds ravishingly poetic for a man that claims that he’s just busy” Your tease came up again, a small smirk curling at your lip, he chuckled.

“Occupational hazard” He shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lip. He uses his other hand to push his glasses up his nose so they don’t fall off. He gave your hand a hard squeeze, and the playfulness in his eyes toned down slightly.

“I’m not late to these dates because I want to keep my lady waiting for me, that’s the last thing I want, a lady should never have to wait for a gentleman” He started, “I’m late because I try to get back to you in one piece”

You laughed, throwing your head back slightly, he watched you with awe, as your hair moved slightly, the way your smile seemed to have made the room a bit brighter, the sound of your laughter. 

“You always do Peter” You calmed down from laughing and looked at him sincerely. 

“And I always will” He said and kissed your knuckle. 

-

“Peter…” You sighed softly as he softly kissed your neck. 

“Hmm?” He hummed softly, as he licked and bit at a certain spot on your neck that made you squirm under his touch. 

“The keys…” You sighed again, sliding your hand down his body to reach the pocket on his trenchcoat to get the keys to your apartment out. He groaned slightly against your neck as you brushed past his crotch. 

“Mhm” He hummed into your neck, taking in your scent, your perfume, your shampoo, everything that makes him go crazy. 

“Peter” You sighed but more firmly now, he reluctantly pulled away from your neck and reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat and shuffled to quickly unlock the door, struggling. Once he did get the door open, he threw his key on the table by the door.

“Come here” He mumbles, placing a hand on your waist and pulling you closer to him, his lips on yours again, backing you up against a wall. You moaned into his mouth as you felt his hands grip on your bum. 

“Up” he groans into the kiss, you lift one of your legs and wrap it around his waist and he lifts you off the ground with little to no effort, letting you wrap your other leg around him. He moves you off the wall, leaving your lips to kiss your neck, leaving hickeys as he goes. 

He softly kicked the door to your bedroom open and walked to the bed until his knees touched the end of the bed. Once he feels the edge of the bed touch his knees, he softly places you onto the bed. You let out a sigh when you feel the soft fabric of the blanket and pillows touch your skin.

“So pretty for me. Got all dolled up for me, huh?” He hummed as he kissed down your collar bone. Your breaths got sharper as he reached your cleavage. Your hands travel to his hair, tugging at it gently as he slides his hands beneath you to unzip your dress. 

“Yes Peter, all for you” You breathed out as you arched your back slightly to help him unzip your dress. He kissed down your sternum, pulling the straps of your dress slowly off your shoulder, until the sound of police sirens drove by. Lights filling the room.

Leaving as soon as it came. Sirens becoming distant. Peter’s body stiffens, as if conditioned to whenever he hears the sound of sirens hit his ears. He lets out a deep sigh the second the sirens are out of earshot and relaxes his body slightly, slumping into you. 

You let out a small laugh, knowing exactly what he was thinking. He lifts his head off your chest and looks at you with a guilty and sad look in his eyes. You gave him a knowing look. 

“Duty calls” You shrugged and started to sit up, Peter standing up from the bed and helped pull you up. 

“I’m so sorry, doll” He sighed and leaned his forehead onto yours. You gave him a soft smile. 

“It’s okay” You whisper against his lips and give him a little peck, pulling away before he could kiss you back. 

“Come back to me safely” You said and patted his cheek softly, tilting your head up slightly to kiss the tip of his nose. He closes his eyes to relish in the feeling of your lips before pulling away from your embrace completely. 

“Always” He said, taking his mask out of his trenchcoat and before pulling it down, he bent down to give you a kiss on your forehead. You closed your eyes to feel his warmth, but it left all too quickly, and when you opened your eyes the last thing you saw was his black trenchcoat going out the window. 

You let out a long sigh and fall back into bed. Whatever warmth he left you with, slowly leaves, making the room feel much colder. You turn on your side to look at the window he had just used as an exit. 

Wishing that his arms were around you to fight off the cold breeze loneliness brings.