#sad phase

uh hello. You can call me Lane or Elle. You may also find me on some places as wisteria.cascade Pronouns are she/her though I really don’t mind.

my birthday is the 6th of february and if you remember it ill be marry you (platonically)

Bi myself probably because im kind of an acehole Im a minor and no I can’t donate to causes sorry

btw I update this a lot

I suppose I read kotlc, shadow hunter universe, inheritance games and a bunch of random other books.

Also I play genshin and just started zzz, and im really bad at but also play project: edens garden. (Rip p:eg fuck f*za) I know the full plot of the danganronpa games but ive never played them

I watch random animes/read mangas (long list: bsd, bllk, jjk, Kny/demon slayer, spy family, saiki k, windbreaker, tshd, lycoreco, more i forgot), donghuas (sgdlr and tbhx) and animations (aka alien stage which I was dragged into and is now obsessed with).

Also a WEBTOON addict. Full fandom lost down below at the very bottom fyi

I’ll be posting random stuff when I feel like it. That’s about it. Also don’t mind the dramatic username I stole it off my genshin oc. I’m really bad at drawing but if you ask me to draw something I will pour whatever little skill I have into it (if you do this I will cry from joy)

(I really don’t know what I’m doing but I suppose I can bake moderately. Gaslighting myself that I can draw (I don’t have time so I think I’m better than I am). Love making up lyrics though. Aspiring voice actor but yk ai and such (also untalented af). Not really great at anything so will be posting random stuff

Tags since I keep forgetting them:

#lane’s random thoughts - random stuff I post

#rants and comp-lane-ts- I thought I was being smart with the name but yeah pretty self explanatory

#lane answers - when I get an ask (every once in a blue moon occurrence)

#lane has decision making issues - I can’t decide on something and turn to tumblr because I’m indecisive

#lane cant art - when I cant art but still want to share something anyways (idk why)

#lane escapes the insane asylum - craziness

#lane's ocs!!! - pretty self explanatory but my lovely ocs!!! show my kids some love ehehehe. Some of them have separate tags listed below. will mostly be posting about hong zhiling (genshin oc), li qingzhao and jin yi'an (bsd ocs) and hachiya byakuya (kind of bllk oc; explained down there)

#zhiling supremacy - self explanatory. Zhiling supremacy. My first fully fleshed out oc. Shes a little middle-school but i still love her.

#blue moon: cafe open! - hachiya byakuya, chihari yukiko (or rather chigiri koyuki), and the rest of the gang! Set in the bllk universe in the sense that ive created a whole side story where some bllk older sisters and ocs run a cafe/bakery/accidental detective agency together. yeah its complicated but please ask me about it i love them both so much. koyuki's such a minor character in canon that i basically count my version of her as an oc, but i did give her a new name so i can stop confusing people. This now has a rp blog dedicated to it: plsplspls send asks to @blue-moon-cafe

Full fandom list in no particular order:

- bungou stray dogs

- jujutsu kaisen

- blue lock…

- link click

- genshin impact

- danganronpa

- project: eden’s garden

- demon slayer/kny

- the summer hikaru died

- lycoris recoil

- suzume

- saiki k

- wind breaker (the anime not webtoon)

- alien stage

- spyxfamily

- dungeon meshi

- pjsk

- shadowhunters

- blue period

- kotlc

- riordanverse (out of touch but deserves an honourable mention)

- tadc? Ig?

- unfortunately, i know the wholeass plot of hazbin hotel

- i also know the whole plot of death note but havent watched

- read tokyo ghoul up to like the 13th manga i think

- a lot of webtoons, including hand jumper, sbg, blue matter (god i know a lot of blue fandoms), cloud walker (rip), clinic of horrors, moonchild, our walk home, omniscient reader, tower of god and a LOT more. Just ask.

- obligatory hunger games mention

- apothecary diaries

- frieren

- psycho pass (up to first season then quit)

- toilet bound hanako kun (up to date ewith manga)

- ouran high school host club (37816732 years late rip)

- Your lie in april

Currently watching/reading:

It’s great that you seek professional help, and that you find it helpful.Have you spoken to a therapist about this pattern that you’ve noticed? Maybe it would be a good idea to ask a professional what you can do to maintain your good phases. You can say something like “I’m doing well now, but so far when I’ve had happy phases, they’ve been followed by sad phases. What can I do to help myself stay in a good phase?”. 

read around some symptoms of genuine depression and *le gasp* i feel kinda validated??? like i legit have no reason to be depressed at all like my familys pretty good im rich uh i could be worse at everything (i could be a whole lot better but whatevs) my so-called friends mostly suck but whose doesnt but like regardless

given the fact that im a teenager mood swings should also be common but ive never met anyone irl who has it as bad (if im allowed to like. quantify moods.) like the worst ive seen is just someone getting a bit annoyed after being happy but for me its more like im on top of the world, i can do anything and i will do everything, everybody loves me and i love everyone, and then one small comment or heck even nothing at all and it all comes crashing down and i feel like shit but thats better than what happens after when i feel nothing except pain that i feel nothing (or some shit like that idk im not poetic). so maybe bipolars also on the table???

i dont want to be one of those annoying ass self diagnosing people but like its getting really annoying? like if theres any kind of medication or mood stabiliser or anything at all id really like to be let in on the secret. i also dont want people to think im crazy??? like im pretty weird; i talk to myself (because i get lonely and also sometimes i cant think straight and i have to sound it out) so i dont want people to think of me as less but im also scared that ill just snap one day and do something i dont want to do. oh my lord this is getting long but i just really really need to rant for a bit. i think the general reputation depression has has been dumbed down to a joke but its better than the reputation bipolar has but i dont really know anymore.

maybe everyone else is just better at acting than me??? maybe i just feel things too much and take everything too seriously but also as a joke??? i really dont know but i cant muster up the energy to cry (because crying means that people would actually comfort you and like feel sympathy and of course i cant even do that like everyone else) but i dont know i just dont even know anymore ugh.