Kingdom of Dry Bones on AO3, fully uploaded now.

For someone who's been largely unimpressed by Sarah Gailey's work (Magic for Liars was fine; I insist that River of Teeth really wanted to be a movie) she really pulled out all the sinister, sincere, wrenching stops for Echo Wife. A parable about control, parenthood, and cycles of abuse---but with a cloning twist and a well-honed emotional ambivalence that really worked for me.

SHEET PAN BAKE.

I’m glad my D-list puns still land with my true friends. But it’s true! There are so many different kinds of wizards, that if one says “I like wizards” they could be talking about

your wild Odin, of whom Gandalf is one of the most famous tamed specimens. However, as this wizard tends to be fairly plain, more flashy varieties have been derived from the mainstay:

Such as The Fantasian/’Pulp Fantasy’ Wizard. However, it is wise to beware as attempts to preserve certain traits from The Odin have not always been very stable,

Resulting in the Feral Wizard, known for its chaotic, inexplicable behaviors– unfortunately demonstrating traits best suited for a free-roaming wild wizard but possessing a less rough facade, inadvertently confusing bystanders about if the wizard is acclimated to human society.

Other attempts to further domesticate The Odin have gone quite smoothly, however,

the common Merlin being one such success. Merlins are often mistaken for,

the Fancy Wizard, a novelty show breed, with silky beards and shimmering celestial robes. However, their bright markings can sometimes be mistaken for threat markings,

which are common to The Sorcerer, such as Yen Sid– which are much more aggressive and reclusive. In no way should a Sorcerer be kept without also keeping at least one sociable apprentice, or else they will grow hostile lacking a reliable way to communicate with the outside world. 

Still, they are not as high-maintenance as,

the Warlock (art by forrestimel), which requires a vast territory. In order to defend this territory, the Warlock, has a propensity to also be a necromancer (though few would consider ‘necromancer’ a variety of wizard in its own right– it is merely a behavior), conjure demons, or enthrall monsters/human settlements/ other more docile wizards to do their bidding. Incidentally,

Ganondorf is also a well-known warlock specimen, demonstrating that despite its demanding enrichment and territory needs, the high-performance Warlock variety is extremely adaptable and flexible, and capable of achieving great physical as well as magical strength.

Despite all that though, there is still more diversity to be found. Such as,

the Elf-Wizard, which should be noted also has special needs intersecting with the high elven/wood elven/dark elven/moon+sun elven/other elven variation. The appearance of these wizards can be quite unique and distinctive:

The appeal of Elf-Wizards is well-known; in contrast to their their charming bearded, rougher-seeming fellows they have a certain graceful and even unearthly charisma. That charisma is such a desirable trait that it has been introduced into other varieties of Wizard, such as The Merlin, creating,

Howl, a beardless cult favorite. Understandable.

Also, we don’t just need to consider the variety of wizards, but also social vs asocial wizards. Many wizards, as you have noticed, are solitary. But any wizard can be social, even social to a maddeningly complex degree with a propensity to organize into both secret and overt orders. Let us consider the case study of Vanus Galerion:

He organized the Mages’ Guild in his superhabitat when he left the much more reclusive Psijic Order, as it provided no support for wizards and other magi outside of its seclusion– and no unity to organize against his rival, Mannimarco, who was also banished from the Psijics. Social wizards tend to have both rivals and colleagues, which is a useful strategy as any rogue wizard that gains sufficient power could devastate their peers, and turn non-wizard bystanders against their welfare in general.

Social wizardry tends to be academic in aesthetic, which can sometimes alienate more primal wizards and prioritize homogeneity which can offend more independent wizards. The most well-known instance of social wizardry is, of course, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry:

The vast environment required to provide sufficient space, enrichment, resources, and safety for so many wizards at once, however, can lead to collapse of their habitat. This is unfortunately is ongoing within J.K. Rowling’s Wizarding World, with the rise of Pottermore and the negligence of the sanctuary’s caretaker.

Aside from all of these topics, we could then begin to get into arguments over if druids, bards, descendants of magical creatures, Chinese Wu, Jedi, truly count as ‘varieties of wizards’, or as their own wizard-adjacent entities with parallel magical abilities. And we could discuss the Dungeons and Dragons-related taxonomy that delineates wizards vs sorcerers on basis of academic vs hereditary magics. We could even discuss the categorization of wizards into a Hatted/Hooded/Bareheaded tri-scheme, or explore the Beard/No Beard dichotomy.

ngl i’ve been lowkey irritated lately by the lack of... live options? for alternative/interesting spiritualities? among millennials?

i still loosely identify as neopagan / reform druid / etc, but like, it’s increasingly obvious whenever i hang out with that community that it’s kinda dying.  they’re fascinating folks, lovely people, and like, Literally All My Hobbies Are The Hobbies Of Sixtysomething Retirees, so i don’t mind that aspect, but it also gives a vague sense that it’s lacking in some vital thing that’s present in other places.  a community can still thrive if the up-and-coming generation is still in dialogue, bringing new and fresh perspectives on old stuff (what i see from, e.g., young birders is encouraging and awesome and yay), etc, but that’s not happening in that community; the next generation’s just disengaging and thus the debates/aesthetic sensibilities/etc don’t grow or change in interesting ways.

so like, what’s left?  i don’t know of any cool modern mysticism movements in the US (quakerism can approach a sort of christian mysticism, which is lit, but is very concentrated in New England where i am very not), various kinds of humanism have been disappointing in terms of delivering this type of nourishment (though highly successful in other ways!), etc

NAUTOLANS WHAT