Learn the Rolla Bolla this Autumn! 

I’m currently touring with Cirque Mechanics’ Pedal Punk, a theatrical circus for the stage.  If you wanna check out where we’re gonna be next, visit:

Last night I performed Rolla Bolla at a Ellie Goulding gig in a very small venue. It was a promotion for Today FM, but the crowd there wasn't the jabby part.

In the afternoon I realised that my Rolla Bolla board had gone missing. I must have left it at a gig.. So in my costume, a brown tight shirt and stripy carney pants, I sawed out a new (oddly sized) board. It was quite light and nothing like the board I’ve used for the last 10 years (which I morn). This was a conundrum and thoughts of Ellie in her shiny hotel room darted through my mind as I sat sweating and the sun set. I tried to use the new board and my rolla’s scuttled across the concrete. I scrunched up my face.

I went inside and ate fridge cold pasta out of a bowl on the step of our mice infested kitchen. I thought again about the expensive cars that were going to turn up with celebrities inside, and how measly I was being payed.

That night I fell and fell and fell again. My beautiful metal rolla’s denting as they hit the concrete. I haven’t done such a bad job since China 2011. Every dent is a scar in me.16 years of falling off towers of metal objects but it’s never felt like this. I managed to hide this fairly well and have a nice time, scoring a bottle of expensive champagne and then obliterating some brain cells in the park with my lover Marlena.