#roadtomd

My life lately…

Trying to balance my personal & professional life.

Now on our 3rd Year! 💉Prevention is better than cure 😷 - Doc Fate Cunanan Thank you always po for the trust Balubad, Salu, Mitla Balik, Mancatian Balik, Palat and Pulung Santol Teaching Force 👩‍🏫💚🥰 Thank you as well Mam Zia for helping us and to my very responsible & supportive PPGs 🌟👩🏻‍⚕️

It was an advocacy I started after I passed the board exams that live through with my patients; through the years, they make impact to our dearest teachers — lesser sick leaves, lesser hospitalizations and better health ☺️ We’ve had our health teachings and symposiums from Pandemic (on our PPEs) and now surviving pandemic 😷 Still strong, health and together for better health and overall wellness 💪🏻

Today is March 22, 2023. It's been six days since the results of March 2023 PLE was released. I didn't make it. I didn't pass the licensure examination again. My heart is broken. For the second time, I felt I wasn't good enough. My life is currently on hold. I am stuck. I feel like it's the darkest days of my life. I am not good enough. I don't know what to do. It's depressing and dark. I keep on questioning my worth every day. It's a struggle everyday. To wake up and face the world. There's no one to blame but me. I did this to myself. Am I stupid? Will I ever be a doctor? It's scary. What if I wasted a big part of my life for nothing? But I don't see myself doing anything else but this. I don't want anything else but this. So today, I had to push myself. I had to bring myself back in the game. To get back to the life I wanted. I am not a quitter. I know where my heart will be happy. And so I decided to begin again...

#memoriesforkeeps for my virtual diary

as our mentor have thought us, “continue to learn, grow & explore 🎓always do the best work you can do; to improve ourselves so we can take care of other people 🫶 this is our gift of healing👩🏻‍⚕️

this year has been my most productive in terms of continuous learning 🥰 this are just baby steps I am taking to be able to serve & care for my patients better 👩🏻‍⚕️ due to pandemic & the comfort of scrub-suits, it’s been a while since I worn my white coat (which I deeply value & respect) — it just felt so so great 🥹 more than the knowledge & skills I have learned & acquired, it’s the camaraderie & union I had with this batch that made this course worthwhile 🫶 it was not at all easy for any of us — but we made it after long hours of lectures, exams, policy/program planning & trainings 🎓 i’m just so excited to go back to work again & share this fire in me burning❤️💪🏻never stop learning ✨

Batch 19 - ELITE55, Class PRO

Yes, I am feeling it. And I will endure it. I miss the grit, passion and motivation to work hard for something I truly yearn for. This day forward, let’s to our best self to keep on moving and reading and learning and studying. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that can make or break the decisions I will make in my life. THIS TIME NOW, I WANT AND I WILL PURSUE THIS.

Not everyone show the silent battles people are facing in life. Be gentle and open-minded. Just breathe it out. Choose to be kind amidst any circumstances. The amount of perseverance these people have inspires me. We are all on the same ground yet their grit & motivation pushes me to go forward and be patient. When the spirit & body becomes tired & unwilling, we rest & freshen up. But only to come back and finish what we started.

1:49 in the morning.

Still trying my best to read.

There's no shortcuts to success, right?

You got this.

As a doctor, you can never claim the 8-5pm regular work schedule. Even if you’re done with clinic hours, you go home people still call & message you. I know of this person whom I was asking for help about her work but she told me that office is done and she will address it tomorrow morning. How I wish we can tell that to the non emergent cases random people message us, every now and then. Countless.

In the office, you can tell them, I’m done with work. But in this profession, they expect you to address their concerns ASAP. Some will say, that’s totally up to you, learn to draw boundaries — work life balance. But in this profession, that’s such a thin line to distinguish. It’s a lifetime commitment and service to patients & other people, 24/7. You’re always on call.