#rkchris

                       𝗤   ⟨  A CALLBACK, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN EXCITING.                                   HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU GOT THE EMAIL  ⟩  !

she comes off more casual than she was -- a little more cool, dusting off the bright smile from earlier with one of ease and nonchalance. even though just days before she had been panicked and manic over not seeing the email ( because it had been slotted in her dark social folder rather than her primary folder -- stupid gmail ), she wasn’t going to come off eager. no, she wanted to come off cool and collected. a level-headed girl who just wanted fame, fortune, and lots and lots of fans. that was level-headed, right? “it was to be expected. i had a really good feeling about my audition up until the end so i wasn’t really afraid i wasn’t going to make it. being in front of the judges, today, though, did get me a little ...” she pauses, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks as she reveals a little too much, the confidence withering away as the excitement of being on stage in front of all those famous ceos became more than apparent on her young face. “speechless? it was really cool to be in front of someone as amazing as baek jiyoung.”

             𝗤   ⟨  SO, WE GOT A QUOTE FROM YOUR COUSIN, @rkkhg,                            AND HE SAID THAT HE HATED YOUR PERFORMANCE.                                    DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT?                                        DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR PERFORMANCE BAD  ⟩  !

that motherfucker. yuna immediately feels her muscles tighten as she tries to calm the twitch she feels starts to tremble along her eyebrow. “hyunggu oppa said that?” she says through a tensed grin, all the while keeping her smile intact despite the fact that she can immediately feel her blood boil. “oh, my cousin -- he’s so, so, so funny.” and yuna laughs for good measure ; trying not to grit her teeth as she passes off a roll of her eyes with a blink, instead. “such a comedian. but no --” her grin relaxes, rolling her shoulders back as she looks dead on to the camera. “ i don’t believe my performance was bad. sure, it could have been better but can’t you say that for a majority of the other performances here?” yuna shrugs, “i believe i gave them something original. and that alone makes it better than that same majority of other performances.”

                                 𝗤   ⟨  I SEE. SO OF THE MAJORITY, WHICH WERE                                                          THE ONES THAT YOU DIDN’T LIKE  ⟩  !

“there was one guy -- i forget his name, i think it was h - h- something ... @rkharuto? he was hilarious. when he finished his stage, he fell on the floor. i felt so bad for him -- especially after that performance. man, i thought his performance was really cool but i guess off skates he’s not as smooth. and i mean, he ... skated and this is a competition scouting for idols ... like, how do those two even correlate? if you wanted to skate, you should’ve joined the x games, kiddo.” she shakes her head, fingers tapping along her arms as she keeps them crossed against her chest. 

“as for my cousin -- he says that i was terrible. he should recheck his prescription because his performance wasn’t all that either. oppa has to do so much better if he thinks that was impressive.  he’s a great dancer, i know it and i’m sure he knows it but we all also know that he sucked.” yuna shrugs, as if ready to tick another one off her list as she continues on.

she laughs, a little, at least -- “i also didn’t know they still allowed grandpas into the competition. isn’t @rkmason like prehistoric at this point? sure, he’s also a good dancer but don’t you think you should give it a rest, 할비. sure, i liked his song and sure he’s good looking but -- eh, eh.” she stares, another finger down. 

“and c’mon, the callbacks are supposed to be exciting but some people were just so boring. like that @rkheejin chick, news-flash! that song is so overplayed back in the states, and the acoustic-cute girl singing about unrequited love is really last season.” she sniffs, as if ready to cry for the actual sadness she felt for her. heejin was cute, super cute but if yuna was being honest. she might’ve stifled a yawn here and there. 

there was another girl, the moment she had set eyes on her, yuna had felt ill. her hair, oh lord -- why would anyone do that to themselves. “kim @jungeunxrk?” yuna scoffs, “two words. botched dye-job. i honestly don’t know how anyone could concentrate on her performance when she came in looking like she over-fried her hair. bleached blonde, more like botched blonde.” she says the last sentence in english. “oh, but we’re supposed to talk about their performance ... i guess she was nice.” 

“ @rkjeongin is a friend of mine and i honestly was rooting for him.” honestly meaning slightly and rooting for him aka secretly plotting his demise. ( she’s half-kidding, but still ) “and i mean, props for doing a girl group song but jeongin, please, if you’re going to do a girl group song, don’t butcher the dance moves. i do hope he makes it on, though, even if he did do ... that.” she even has the audacity to spare a embarrassed smile on his behalf.

the interviewer stares at her, as if begging her to be down and yuna just shakes her head; already knocking down another finger. “@rksuwoong, love korean culture and props to you for being ‘edgy’ and ‘lost in the times’ and all but trot is dead. end of story.”

there was one guy, though. that she couldn’t have helped but be jealous over. and who was shin yuna if not for the petty, little brat that she was -- and her jealousy had obviously tided over when she finally came to mention him. unfortunately, it was all because she enjoyed his song too well, that she couldn’t help but criticize it. “@moonbokrk, song choice -- bleh. rapping? eh. i mean, could have done better but did he? you answer that, yourself.”

“ @rksihyeon i was actually expecting better. she has the face that you’d think has it but her performance didn’t do it for me. it ... lacked something? i don’t know. can’t put my finger on it, though. nice try, though, she’s pretty, at least.” she nods. another one bite the dust, she whispers to herself. 

she could have cracked her knuckles and she still wouldn’t be done with her list. “and there’s that @rkchris -- i felt like he was trying to be edgy but also indie and like tough? but vulnerable? and it was just too much, like dude ... be simple ..., you’re doing too much.” 

“when i heard the starting tune, i was so ready to fangirl, i love akmu. unfortunately, can’t say the same about @rkumji who sang the song though.”

“and i guess that was just a few people you could say i don’t think will make it.” she wrinkles her nose. 

                              𝗤   ⟨  AND THE REST? WHICH STOOD OUT TO YOU  ⟩  !

“who i think you should root for are definitely kim @rkyeji and shin @ryujinrk. their performances, by far, were the best of the night.” yes, she’s being biased. no, she did not care one bit. shin yuna was a firm believer that since she was amazing, so were her friends and there was no doubt in her mind that when she had seen, first hand, her friends’ performances, she couldn’t be prouder. if she could, she would’ve thrown her shoes at them as celebratory cheers.

“there was one guy that i think did well too,” oddly enough, yuna did have a few compliments to spare. “i think his name was @ericxrk, the one who did ikon’s killing me. his dance break was pretty nice. i enjoyed it.” 

                                                  𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝘘   ⟨  THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME  ⟩ !

"alright, welcome to the interview! could you introduce yourself, please?"

tingyan was immensely grateful for a much friendlier interviewer than she'd been provided with last time, smiling in agreement as she began. "of course. my name is chong tingyan and i'm a university student and model from shanghai, china! i'm not a princess - but i'm this season's queen!" putting her hands in the form of a crown over her head, she can't help but laugh. the statement is a little silly and boastful at best, but it's her way of getting her name stuck in the judges' head.

"how did you feel when you received the news of the callback?"

"ah..." she doesn't want to mention the fact that she laughed, although being true it didn't sound good from an outside perspective. "i was in shock! there were...so many people at the first auditions? ah, it was crazy..." her eyes become faraway, returning to the hectic day she'd first came in to show her talents. it seemed like it was just a few hours ago - and now here she was, at the second round. even though there were still many contestants, more had been cut already, and it hadn't even passed the first interview. tingyan couldn't help but wonder what that meant for her, and how many of the people she'd grown to like would be leaving soon. if she would be leaving soon. but there was no time for such negativity. so she concludes with a "i'm so ecstatic to be here! i can't wait to show even more of myself to you all."

"how was it seeing the set for the first time?"

"it was so beautiful! really, i got excited before anything had even started," she confesses, covering her mouth as she lets out a laugh. did they expect anyone to say anything but good things? "really, i used to watch the show all the time when i lived in shanghai. i always was fangirling over the contestants - i was quite a big fan of season 2!" she figures bringing it back to her childhood sounds a little humbling, not so focused on her confidence now and more on the teen she once was. "when i walked on set, i felt like i was really a teenager again, living out my dream! i was so nervous, i could barely speak!"

"what did you think when the judges were revealed?"

i expected it? she almost says, the mga fanatic aware of the judge's appearance. however, her casual bluntness she's used to displaying won't work this time, so she decides to focus on the excitement she got from it. "i thought i was nervous before they walked in?" exhaling, she looks to the sky, hands pressed to her cheeks. "oh my gosh, it got so much more intense! i know everyone else felt it too. that's when it got really quiet, like we were all fighting for our lives." in a way they were, but instead of their lives, each was battling for the most screentime and a chance to win a contract. "i noticed hyun bin-ssi looked really handsome," she notes, immediately regretting the statement as her cheeks turn red and she covered her face. didn't everyone, though? the statement was a result of both her flirty tendencies and hope to get nova's attention, but it wasn't exactly supposed to say it out loud. falling over into a fit of giggles, the girl waves her hands, as if to ask the other to forget she said anything. "unnie...could we cut that part out, please?"

"how do you think you did?"

truthfully? she doesn't know. the audience seemed fairly please, but, as always the judges had kept their poker face up for the majority of the time there. it was hard to read them, especially when she was so reluctant to look them in their eyes, but one thing was for certain . "i had a lot of fun," she says truthfully, thinking back on the fun song shift. "i think i did very well! i tried my best to show my confidence, enthusiasm, and skill!" she lists each, counting them off with her hand. "it was different, and my goal was to gain their attention by switching things up. it worked well to me!" her subconscious tells her to die down the boasting, so she flips the script by lessening her praise on herself. "but of course, there were a lot of great competitors. i'm looking forward to seeing what the judges thought and how they can help me in the future!" she's sure to put the thought of her remaining in the competition at the front of her mind, knowing better than to seem pessimistic on camera. if she wanted something, she had to speak it into existence.

"did anyone stand out to you?"

"mm, of course! there was moonbok ( @moonbokrk​ ) ," she says, the name sticking with her. many others did as well, as she'd tried her very best to retain them in case an interview such as this was initiated. she wanted to be a queen, but not careless, after all. she's sure other mentioned him as well, if not for anything for his desirable hair. "i remember seeing him at the first auditions! i mean, of course his hair is beautiful - i want it so bad!" she laughed, twirling her own curled strands. "but aside from that, i didn't expect him to rap! it was really nice." she sits silent for a moment, thinking over other performers that she felt were nice. "to be so young, hohyeon ( @rkhyeon​ ) seemed very confident in himself and his skills. i think he'll have no trouble getting used to the competitive atmosphere."

"were there any performances you liked?"

"oh, a lot!" really, she hadn't been paying attention the first half due to crazy nerves, but she won't let that slip out. of course, being a very opinionated person, sharing her thoughts is in her veins, and it shows in the way she sits up with excitement. after all, they're asking a girl who used to have a mga opinions blog - what did they expect? "well....yoorim's ( @rkaisha​ ) performance was really good! or was her name aisha...? i think she goes by both. anyways, she was such a bada-" she stops herself before the curse can properly exit her mouth, her claim of a graceful queen ringing at the back of her mind. "she was very cool, i genuinely enjoyed watching her perfomance." tapping her fake nails on each other, she tries her best t think of the others she watched. a certain face popped in her head, the younger so eager to support everyone during performances she can't help but support him. "there was also youngjae ( @ericxrk )! he had a lot of enthusiasm, and i have to say, i was really surprised his performance was that good." it's not intentionally a diss, but for such a childish personality it was hard for her to take him seriously as a performer. he'd obviously proved her wrong.

"were there any performances you didn’t like?"

"ah....that's a little rude to answer, right?" scratching her ear, she feigns remorse, but on the inside she's living for this. there'd been a few performances which had been a little underwhelming and she was never afraid to say so....unless it may affect her results. so she spoke carefully, saying her opinion but gentler than she may have otherwise. "i think yewon ( @rkumji ) could have performed a little more confidently. of course, everyone makes mistakes but...what matters is recovering from them. i don't think she did that as well as she could have." to be fair, tingyan's skills weren't top tier, but the way the interviewer looks expectantly proves they were looking for more than a few words to spice up this seasons drama. alright, alright. whatever gets more screentime. "i'd also say vernon ( @rkchwev )?" she says hesitantly. "he was good, don't get me wrong, but the performance was lacking something...maybe fun?" it sounds bad, but it was really the only way she could put it. "i like fun, excitement, all that. it seemed to lack those, which sometimes can be more important than talent."

"what did you think of kyulkyung's performance?"

"jieqiong ( @rkkyul )?" she asks, the second name being the one she remembered in her mind. "it was...good?" she asks, confusion etching her features as she wonders why they'd center the attention on her. she wonders if it's because of their shared hometown, both hailing from shanghai. "she was good! that performance was totally something i'd do," she says, wondering if they were trying to start some sort of rivalry. if anything, foreign muses needed to stick together, so she decided against slandering her. "when she took of the pointe shoes? ah, i was really shocked! i'd be excited to see what she has prepared in the future."

"is there anyone you are certain will move onto the next phase of the mgas?"

he thinks back to the moment he totally freaked out upon hearing the results. part of him is naive and hopeful, but the other also lacks confidence and so he never quite knows if his gut feeling is right or not. he doesn’t trust himself to know for sure if his performance went well or not. “i felt really happy! a little surprised maybe, it’s rare that i win anything! i’m not saying i’ll be the winner of this season, of course!” he waves his hands in front of him frantically, showing off his braces as he laughs. “but it feels nice to be chosen right? it means they didn’t think i was terrible!”

How was it seeing the set for the first time, and the judges once they were reveal?

“the set is huge! i’ve never stood on anything like this. it’s way bigger than school festivals, with all the lights, the seats, and everyone watching... if i’m being honest, it was really intimidating especially the way the judges stare at you... are they supposed to look scary?” he tilts his head cutely. “i was really hoping there would be coaches like in one of the previous seasons... maybe they could have k.arma coach us! i would really love that.”

How do you think you did?

he nods his head with confidence this time. “a lot better than last time! i was just as nervous in the beginning, but having friends here looking out for me really calmed me down. i was alone the first time so it was harder. i mean, i can’t speak for the judges but i feel like i was more stable! and i really put more thought into my outfit!”

Were there any performances you liked?

“all of them?” jeongin declares, and it’s obviously not a lie. it’s not his place to judge others since he’s still lacking, and he’s very easily pleased and impressed. some are more skilled than others, but they all tried their best and that’s what matters. “is it biased if i say my cousin yeji did really well? i hope she moves on to the next round, i’d be happy even if only she does and not me! but the best scenario would be the both of us of course,” he says with a small laugh. “jisungie hyung, chris hyung and changbinnie hyung all rapped, they’re really impressive aren’t they? i could never do that, i don’t have swag.” he pronounces the word with a very strong accent. he could really study english more. “woojin hyung sang really good too, i love his voice, and the song suits him perfectly. and didn’t shin yuna’s song choice make you laugh? the dance and remix were cool though! i liked the girl who sang fly, the girl who danced to kara’s mamma mia - i love kara! - and also kokoro noona who performed a chi chi song! good for her, she has good taste!

Were there any performances you didn’t like?

“not really, no...” he pauses in case he can think of one, but none comes to mind so he just shrugs. “sorry!”

What did you think of kim seungmin’s performance?

he looks around nervously. what kind of magic is this? have they already figured him out? or maybe they just saw them talk before and after the performances, and figured they knew each other well. this seems like the more plausible option, not the conspiration jeongin envisions. “hyung is really talented, his voice gives me goosebumps... he’s a much better singer than me so i’m sure he will move on to the next round, i will root for him until the end~.”

Honestly, if anybody ever told Seungmin he’d make it for the MGAs callback, he would’ve just laughed it off and acted like it was nothing. Of course, that was merely joking around. The fact that it became a reality was a little disconcerting. He received the notification of the next step via e-mail and he just couldn’t believe his eyes.

He had so many people to tell, but he didn’t want to jinx anything whatsoever so he kept it to himself. In this short time frame, Seungmin mentally prepared and practiced with his whole heart on the line. With the address given to them for the recording, Seungmin traveled to the location. Since Seungmin and Changbin are roommates, they decided to go together.

“Binnie… this is so crazy. I can’t believe we’re really doing this. Like actually doing the MGAs. It’s insane.” He held onto his roommate’s hand as he found their way to the studio where the recording would take place.

Immediately upon arrival, Seungmin ran into Jeongin and excitedly dragged him over to everyone else including Jisung and Chan which they sat amongst each other. “This is so nerve-wracking, Innie… I hope we do well today.” He gripped the younger’s hand and squeezed for a little bit of reassurance -- more for himself than anything.

Seungmin quietly watches as other contestants pile into the studio and find themselves a seat among the hundred of chairs available. He notices a presence next to him sit down but doesn’t make much of it. It’s not until the voice speaks up. “Man, I’m nervous, how about you?”

Seungmin doesn’t even think twice before an automatic reply leaves his mouth. “Ugh, honestly, same.” He pauses for another second before he turns his head and that’s when it hits him like a goddamn train by letting out an audible gasp. His brother with the widest shit-eating grin on his face looking at him. Staring at him. Sitting right next to him. His mouth hangs slightly open and Seungmin is just absolutely shocked that his eyes widen considerably.

“Why are you here? Does mom know you’re doing this?” He starts blinking rapidly because he’s just so confused. Why was his brother here of all places? At auditions for the MGAs? It’s shaking him a lot just to see the older.

Seungmin blinks and looks to the other side of Jooyoung and finds his cousin, Hyojin, sitting near them too. Wow, it’s like a family reunion. “H-hyojin hyung? You’re auditioning for the MGAs too?” Shaking his head, he turns back to Jooyoung.

“Hyung… since when did you even like to perform? Do you sing or something?” Seungmin’s expression of confusion and shock slowly leaves his face as it turns colder. “Why didn’t you tell me you were auditioning? Nevermind, it’s not like you tell me anything anyways.”

Seungmin bites out that last harsh statement before turning away. The awkward silence between them is almost unbearable and he feels bad so he sighs before uttering one last thing to Jooyoung. “Good luck…”

For the rest of the waiting time, Seungmin faces towards Jeongin and Jisung and smiles as much as he can in hopes they don’t ask him anything. It’s hard pretending but he can’t let his brother being here affect him and his performance.

Finally, after all the contestants are settled and nestled into their respective seats, they reveal the judges who turn out to be the 5 CEOs of the big companies out right now. Seungmin stared in awe and clapped on cue, of course. He’s not surprised to see them considering they were here last season, but it’s nice. Although, since they’re the judges for this, it makes the performances seem scarier than normal. Something about this either being his last performance on stage or the beginning really unsettled Seungmin’s stomach. Naturally, he tries to will the nervous feelings down but he can’t really help it.

After the hundred of them give their performances, the CEOs will convene together to discuss who moves on and who doesn’t. Seungmin’s afraid of not making it. He’s afraid that his friends will get to hop to the next level and he’ll be left behind. This was different from last year when he managed to score an audience pass to watch some performances for MGA4. He dreamt about standing on stage and now that it’s so close and within reach, he’ll do whatever it takes to make it.

Seungmin exhales deeply and unclenches the fists that rested on his lap. He couldn’t let this get to him. Not now of all days. He had to relax or else his downfall will come sooner than later. One by one, contestants will be called to stand on stage and perform in front of everyone. Thankfully, he’s not called first and he watches with rapt attention at each contestant’s performance. Some are really eye-catching for sure and some he was okay with. There wasn’t anybody truly bad. Not like he could judge anyways. His performance might not be the best either.

Up next is a girl that catches Seungmin’s immediate attention. She’s pretty and looks mean -- like she could step on you and you would end up apologizing for getting in her way. Da-dum, da-dum. Seungmin flushes and clears his throat to will away the brush. Goddamn, this wasn’t some dating show for goodness sake. He’s so enarmored already and watching her performance that Seungmin notices when she turns to face the other contestants. He swears she winked at him. Him of all people. Or at least in his general direction. Either way, Seungmin flushed again and tried to watch the rest of it without embarrassing himself.

A couple more people went and it finally became Seungmin’s turn. With a smile towards his friends, his feet brought him on stage before the judges or the CEOs rather. Being requested to introduce himself, Seungmin smiled politely as his eyes crinkled with mirth. Bowing towards them, he stood back up straight and beamed. 

“Hello and what’s up! I’m 18 year old Kim Seungmin from Seoul.” He points to his red hair and laughs. “Just like my red hair, I hope to show you all my firery passion on this very stage.”

He was ready to get into position until he heard some cheering and hooting from the contestant section and he knows Jooyoung’s voice more than anything and he flushed only slightly before trying to ignore it and focus on his performance.

With a nod of his head and the microphone in hand, he got into position. He quickly looked towards the direction of his friends briefly and wished they could hold his hand or something. He even glanced over at his brother, Jooyoung, and was surprised to see the older with the utmost attention on him. It made him feel shy but maybe just a tad braver. He wanted to show Jooyoung what he was capable of and what he had missed out on for the years he was gone.

Taking a deep breath again, Seungmin let the music filter in before lifting up the microphone to his lips and started singing.

I used to believe We were burnin' on the edge of somethin' beautiful Somethin' beautiful Sellin' a dream Smoke and mirrors keep us waiting on a miracle On a miracle Say, go through the darkest of days Heaven's a heartbreak away Never let me down, never let me down

It’s an English song because Seungmin feels very comfortable doing a cover like that. It’s actually a mashup of Justin Bieber’s Let Me Love you, Mario’s Let Me Love You and Ne-Yo’s Let Me Love You. Overall, it’s a slower mashup rendition of the three faster paced songs. But Seungmin likes to think that it matches quite nicely with a slower tempo. He’s not here to play any games.

Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah I won't give up, nah-nah-nah Let me love you Let me

Seungmin doesn’t move around much on stage. His performance wasn’t meant to be that flashy or showy. He wanted to showcase his vocals off more than anything.

Should let me love you Let me be the one to Give you everything you want and need The good love and protection Make me your selection Show you the way love's supposed to be

One hand on the mic and the other hand resting where his heart is and singing with his whole damn chest. Seungmin needed to bare everything out. In front of himself, his brother, his friends, the CEOs. He didn’t want to be that same shy boy who was terrified of standing on stage. He was different now. He knew he had what it took to be an MGA winner. He just had to make it.

Girl let me love you And I will love you Until you learn to love yourself Girl let me love you I know you are trouble Don't be afraid, girl let me help

Seungmin locked eyes with each and every CEO glancing at them briefly before looking elsewhere. Lifting his hand off his chest, he brought it up so he was holding the microphone with both hands.

Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel

Surprisingly enough, Seungmin’s voice is a lot more melodic and honey-like than he originally lets on. He looks like a handsome and dandy kind of boy but doesn’t seem like he offers much. But when he sings, it’s a different side of him that people ought to know and hear. He wants to let his voice be heard as much as possible.

Girl let me love you And I will love you Until you learn to love yourself Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah I won't give up, nah-nah-nah Let me love you

The end of the song slowed down once again but he sang in such a gently sweet voice that matched with the aesthetic of the song. Maybe his voice wasn’t as good as other people’s choices. It was slower and you had to really be able to command the attention of everyone in the room. He wanted that more than anything. When he sang the last line, Seungmin slowly let down the mic from his lips and exhaled out in relief that that part was over. It all rest in the CEOs hands now.

it really felt like only yesterday that kokoro had began to contemplate auditioning for the show. 

it only felt like yesterday that kokoro had began contemplating on auditioning for the show; night after night of going back and forth on a dream she thought she had left behind when she moved to seoul. the first audition had come and gone in an absolute blur, and somehow no one had really gotten suspicious about kokoro’s whereabouts on that very day. and now here she was, at an actual television set, with two of her best friends. bright lights hanging overhead and large, expensive cameras directed towards her and the rest of the contestants. kokoro sits upright in her chair, bright eyed, doing her best to survey her surroundings. she follows the prompts given to her by staff members and producers carefully, knowing there is no room for mistakes. this is going to be going to air, on actual live television. kokoro totally lets the fact that her mother or her step-sister might see this, and if she does think it, she pushes it to the back of her mind. for now. she’s sitting with yuri and yuqi, feeling less nervous about performing in front of a large crowd, but she can’t help but wonder who the panel of judges will be made up of.

kokoro ends up finding a lot of familiar faces amidst the crowd of contestants around herself, yuri and yuqi. she finds yoona, her dance dance revolution companion and jeongin, the k.arma fan from the showcase she went to a month or two back. she even happens across the boy from the royal cafe who ended up wearing her hot chocolate, a memory she would much rather forget. she hopes and prays that he doesn’t look back and catch sight of her. kokoro would of never of taken him for someone like her, a hopeful of sorts, someone looking to break into the industry. he seemed too ... cool for that. but everyone was here for their own reason, as basic or complex as it may be. and who was kokoro to judge? she was here for her own reason, albeit generic. there are hushed whispers and questions about who is going to be sitting on the panel for this round, and some people offer up guesses while others keep their lips sealed in anticipation. the 100 chairs have been filled by contestants, eagerly waiting for their chance to shine.

and then their questions have been answered. appearing from out of nowhere, or so it seems, is the ceos of the five, top companies in south korea, trc entertainment, kt entertainment, sphere entertainment, royal entertainment and nova entertainment. the reaction is positive, kokoro is guessing that a lot of people are losing their minds right now, although some people are probably dreading the fact that the ceos are getting involved so early in the competition. and no one’s fate has been set in stone. kokoro’s reaction is a mixture of surprise and excitement. she realises that she’s never seen the ceos up close before, or actually ever. everyone looks so big and famous, kokoro isn’t too sure that they’re all worthy to be sitting in the same room as these people. 

the callback process begins as one would expect. one by one, each contestant is called forward to show off their skills. they have two minutes to impress the judges and ignite fear in their fellow contestants before returning to their seat and so on. that was the jist of things, or that’s at least what kokoro understood after the first two people had gone forward. she pulls at the hem of her skirt. she knows that from here on out, her charms and cuteness alone aren’t going to get her very far and kokoro starts to understand that maybe she’s not cut out for this sort of stuff. the other contestants are really good dancers, really good singers and really good rappers, almost brimming on trainee or idol level good. kokoro though, hasn’t ever really had any formal training. she’s taken some dance classes and she was in school choir. her parents were never really big on her joining an academy to perfect her skills, well, her father was persistent that kokoro do what make her happy. her mother on the other hand, she was adamant about kokoro doing well in school and with her studies. having had her father absent during her teenage years, it’s easy to see the path kokoro had followed. the path free of any hopes and dreams she had.

     “and next up, we have ... kato kokoro.”

amidst her thoughts, kokoro’s name is called. she’s rather startled, looking across to the panel of judges, spotting katie lee, holding a microphone. it was a woman’s voice in introduced her, so it must of been katie lee. kokoro smiles, getting to her feet before making her way down to the front of the stage, being careful to not step any toes or trip on anything. because that would be very kokoro of her and typical, especially since this was going to be aired on television. she pulls her skirt straight before falling into a polite bow, holding it for a moment before standing upright once again. brushing both of her twin tails back over her shoulder, she looks towards each of the ceos with a bright smile. “hello everyone!” she says enthusiastically, waving both of her hands either side of her face. “my name is kato kokoro, please take care of me.” she doesn’t let on to what it is she’s performing today, and she hasn’t any intentions. the opening notes of the song will do all the talking for her. into the new world, by the nation’s girl group, chi chi. kokoro had heard that it was a song of importance to young people in south korea, a song of hope. 

it was a song she had heard prior to coming to south korea, it was just one of those songs that transcended languages and touched her heart. and that’s what she wants to do today, give a performance that is full of heart. an idol to kokoro is someone who brings others joy through song and dance. they may not necessarily be the best, but when they dance, they give their all. their passion shows. although kokoro is fearful that she may not be as skilled as some of the other contestants in terms of technique or skill, she knows that she has the ability to out do them in one aspect; in heart. she knows, standing there, center stage that this routine will be full of it.

and the song begins to play. it’s familiar to everyone in the room. it’s a song that everyone knows the words to, even kokoro. admittedly, she hesitated upon choosing a korean song to sing at her callback, but she needs to prove that she’s competent with the language. maybe not so much with interviews and general speaking, but with singing. she wants to prove something to herself. she stands there, hands gently folded behind her back as she looks out towards the panel of judges. as the beat drops, kokoro’s smile widens and she nods her head, moving forward into the choreography seamlessly. for a song that is over ten years old, it’s aged very well.

i want to tell you, even though the sad times have already past. close your eyes and feel my moved heart, my gaze at you.

don’t wait for a special miracle, there’s a tough road in front of us, with unknowable an unknowable future and obstacles, i won’t change. i can’t give up. 

kokoro’s voice is soft, her accent present. however, thankfully the tone of the song works with her, rather than against her. the beginning of the song is much more forgiving and kokoro knows she doesn’t have the vocal chords to challenge the end of the song with the high notes and the adlibs. she isn’t out here to butcher a korean classic. a part of kokoro can’t help but wonder if she really is good enough, strong enough to withhold the idol industry of korea. perhaps they aren’t interested in heart; performances that are wholesome and meaningful. perhaps they really do only believe in the best of the best. she knows too well that she isn’t the best dancer, nor the best vocalist but kokoro makes sure that she hits every single dance move, sharp and precise, as though this is dance dance revolution and she’s out to hit her highest score yet. even despite the foreign words flowing from kokoro’s mouth, something about this feels so normal to her.

protect me with an unchanged love, also my wounded heart. looking in your eyes, no words are needed, time has stopped. 

the song builds ever so slowly, inching towards the chorus. and as the song builds up, so does kokoro’s energy. the chorus hits and kokoro quite literally jumps into it, her smile becomes bigger and brighter. this is the feeling she chases, the feeling she so desperately wants others to feel. when people hear the music they love, they should want to get up onto their feet to dance and sing along. she wonders if the other contestants, or even the ceos themselves are surprised by her song choice ... or perhaps it was a given that she, the foreigner, would perform a classic like into the new world? into the new world was a right of passage for so many girl groups in korea, so why couldn’t it be a right of passage for a hopeful like herself?

i love you, just like this. the longed end of wandering, i leave behind this world’s unending sadness. 

in the many unknowable paths, i follow a dim light. it’s something we’ll do together to the end, into my new world.

she is no longer fearful of the outcome of this callback. whether she goes beyond her wildest dreams or falters right here, right now; she has come to realise that she is grateful for one thing; the opportunity to feel again, to feel this happy, this confident and this comfortable whilst dancing and singing to a song like such. the song cuts short before the dance break, which kokoro would of happily performed, only doing so would of pushed her over the two minute mark. pushing her hand outwards to her side she sings the final words of the chorus; it’s something we’ll do together to the end, into my new world. before finishing as she started, hands laced together behind her back. her chest rises and falls ever so slightly, she’s ashamed to admit she’s out of breath. but perhaps not so much from the singing and dancing itself, but from the excitement and the emotion she’s feeling right now. and not even then does her smile falter. it’s kokoro’s one constant. she gracefully falls into a bow, her twin tails becoming curtains, blacking out her vision for a moment before she straightens herself up, brushing them back behind her shoulders. she looks around at the other contestants and the ceos one last time, wanting desperately to savour this moment. it could be the last time she sees a stage like this ...