#riddler headcanons

cause these two are not the 'take no for an answer' types just in different ways.

jonathan is the 'smooth' one, he knows how to tease and flirt with you, and he has a much easier time getting your attention.

but whenever he's got you relaxed, whenever you're a little bit comfortable, he does something Off just to see you squirm.

like making a harmless, if slightly flirty, comment about your clothes and then randomly saying he could probably rip through them.

he can play it off though, like saying 'oh I mean if you had a medical emergency' but then he's got this look in his eyes that's like we both know what I meant, now you just can't prove it.

he knows how to act charming and suave, he can give a disarming smile and get what he wants most of the time, but you can see what's missing behind his eyes. he likes that about you.

while jonathan likes to slowly build the pressure of his advances, edward is sort of... all at once.

see, he's been thinking about you this whole time, he just did everything from afar. for most of the time, you didn't even know he existed.

while jonathan was flirting with you and finding increasingly flimsy excuses to touch you 'innocently', edward was hacking your computer, tracking your phone, memorizing your daily routines.

while jonathan was testing your boundaries, carefully letting you see smaller glimpses of his true nature, edward was breaking into your apartment while you were out and smelling your sheets, stealing clothes, keeping little trinkets and tokens just insignificant enough for you to just assume you misplaced them.

while jonathan was having premarital sex, edward studied the blade okay just kidding but kinda the vibe lol

edward's one-sided obsession comes to a head suddenly-- from your perspective-- but to him it's the natural conclusion, the next step he's been carefully planning from the beginning. he's going to take you for himself.

of course, he knew jonathan was interested in you, it was something he figured out quickly while stalking you. what he didn't know was 1. how much of a threat jonathan really was and 2. that jonathan was already in your apartment.

edward's invasion would be perfectly orchestrated, planned for months, every detail like a stroke of a painting.

jonathan? not quite as meticulous. he's the type to lose his patience after walking you home without being asked and pressuring you to let him in for coffee.

when you refuse to give in to him, he's happy to do this the hard way, and he'd probably backhand you if not straight up sucker punch you.

he'd pin you down and sneer at you and complain about how much of a tightass you are, tell you to stop fighting because he knows you want this.

obviously edward didn't account for this. it's not at all the scene he expected to walk in on when breaking into your apartment.

jonathan didn't expect someone else to come in either, but he's not as thrown off by it. he feels pretty confident he can silent any witnesses he needs to, one way or another.

but then again, maybe the roll of duct tape in his hand indicates this is not exactly your typical witness...

neither jonathan nor ed are the type to engage in a direct physical struggle, so it's hard to picture what they would do to resolve a conflict like this. I don't think either would be particularly excited about a compromise or any kind of sharing, but it might be the best way to fix it since they could probably both ruin each other pretty easily. mutually assured destruction is a nice way to get a truce going.

whatever they do to solve this little overlap, you won't be able to do anything: you'd be helpless to both of these mastermind psychopaths.

At first, Edward devotedly insists that he requires your permission. He wants to be good for you, to please you, to not make any mistakes, some deep-set, somewhat warped understanding of obedience and consequence becoming so very evident in the way in which he looks upwards at you. His green eyes are expectant and eager as he chastises himself in his mind, reminding himself just how much of a virtue patience is, with his chin resting on your thighs.

He wants this so much, the deep abyss of need having opened itself within him the moment that he has first laid his eyes upon you. Edward still finds it difficult to believe that you have allowed him this close. He is so, so very grateful for such a divine chance to have been given to him, and wants to show you just how much your kindness has meant. Actions speak louder than words, after all, and Edward believes that he has never been particularly apt when it comes to the latter.

He promptly gets to work the moment you nod at him, his lack of experience diminished by the eagerness to appease you. There is a sheer earnestness with which his tongue begins to lap you up, and you find yourself awestruck at the willingness with which he brings himself to the edge of breathlessness, to the point where his vision begins to darken, as he slows himself down just a little.

Edward yearns for reassurance and praise. You reach to entwine your fingers in his hair as he pulls back, wishing to silence his need for apology. He's done good, he's done his best and he will only get better in time. You then give his hair a small tug, just enough to signal how nice it would be for him to kiss you now, once you catch your breath, sweetheart. As he moves upwards to reach your lips, you glimpse the patch appearing on his boxers seconds before you pull him in, his weight settling over you. You can taste yourself on his lips, soft and trembling.

Edward could spend hours, hours kissing you, be it your lips or any other part of your body. He wants to worship every inch of you, and he does so with a precision, a calculation which would border on clinical, if only you let him. He wants to know you, he wants to know everything about you, and this includes your body as well as your mind. It took you a little coaxing to get him to allow himself to do this, of course, and a little direction, his wrist in your grasp as you pulled his hand towards your breast, his palm subdued and tentative and unsure if he is doing it right, if he is touching you right, wholly unsure of what he is allowed to give and what he is allowed to take, if anything.

You are aware of all the reasons for his restraint, but remain oblivious to some of them until he trusts you enough.

You find him pacing, muttering something about a stream with a rising agitation in his voice as you enter the room, your bodies accidentally colliding in a way which sends you reeling backwards. The sight you behold as you regain your balance and look upwards makes your breath stutter this time. The green mask which he is wearing obscures his facial features completely, save for his eyes, wide-open and frantic behind the lenses of his glasses; he is shirtless, the softness of his flesh, covered with a faint sheen of sweat, contrasting against dark utility pants. He takes a step towards you, combat boots thudding against the floor. They are using him, he says, using, using, and you, in all your awe, find yourself asking, what if you turned the tables?

Edward cannot help himself, then, no matter how much he tries, and he tries so very hard, because he has now somewhat learned the extent of his own power, which he did not know he possessed, but is still not fully aware of the magnitude of his physical strength or just what he could do with it. You say Edward's name out loud, half-disbelieving and half-begging, and he lets out a low, guttural sound which causes a shiver to run through your very core.

It's The Riddler, he says, and within seconds you find yourself with your back crashing against the wall, one of The Riddler's gloved hands around your throat just enough to let you breathe, and the other one finding it's way underneath your shirt, hectic in its urgency. He is touching you almost like you taught him to do, but with no hesitation this time, and in a way which you know is likely to leave bruises and marks strewn across your skin. You can barely recognise his voice underneath the mask, words strained between the heaviness of laboured breaths, telling you that he had so much taken from him, so much, but he will not let that happen again.

Edward wouldn’t have a preference for gender. He doesn’t have time to worry about such things, all he cares about is the baby is born safely and healthy – and that it will eventually reach the same intelligence level as him.

Dad Edward is definitely a stricter one. He demands obedience and doesn’t approve of any backtalking or attitude. He believes he should be treated with the utmost respect.

Edward wouldn’t have a preference for gender. He doesn’t have time to worry about such things, all he cares about is the baby is born safely and healthy – and that it will eventually reach the same intelligence level as him.

Dad Edward is definitely a stricter one. He demands obedience and doesn’t approve of any backtalking or attitude. He believes he should be treated with the utmost respect.

Edward wouldn’t have a preference for gender. He doesn’t have time to worry about such things, all he cares about is the baby is born safely and healthy – and that it will eventually reach the same intelligence level as him.

Dad Edward is definitely a stricter one. He demands obedience and doesn’t approve of any backtalking or attitude. He believes he should be treated with the utmost respect.

Edward wouldn’t have a preference for gender. He doesn’t have time to worry about such things, all he cares about is the baby is born safely and healthy – and that it will eventually reach the same intelligence level as him.

Dad Edward is definitely a stricter one. He demands obedience and doesn’t approve of any backtalking or attitude. He believes he should be treated with the utmost respect.

He’ll shower his kids with age appropriate toys, but push them to try something harder than their age level. He really wants his child to be just as, if not more, intelligent than him. He values intelligence above all else.

Edward will fall in love immediately with his child. He didn’t think it would happen, but as soon as he lays eyes on his newborn, he won’t be able to stop himself. He’s never known what it’s like to see something so tiny and innocent, and will want to protect his child with every fiber of his being. It’s definitely a first for him.

Edward is, of course, still a narcissist, which means he does struggle to share attention with his child. He often gets jealous if he feels too much attention is being paid to the baby for extended periods of times.

However, he’s also quite an attentive father, and he finds himself treating the baby almost like a puzzle to solve. Is it gassy? Is it hungry? Colicky? Does it need to be fed or changed? He approaches fatherhood as the biggest riddle of all, and consistently finds himself questioning the behavior of the tiny human he helped spawn.

However, Edward isn’t a traditional father. He has a hard time doing “normal” things, like playing dolls, dress up, tossing a football, or letting himself be silly and uninhibited. Speaking in baby talk or lowering himself to a less-than intelligent sort of speak is something he finds far beneath him, and he hates stooping to that “level”. He prefers to speak to his child at an above-average level, and has a hard time letting himself go.

When he does play with his child, he prefers memorization games, shape games, or anything that can help nurture their intelligence. He’s been known to build his own toys for his child, anything he can make that he deems “appropriate”. Ergo, not distracting with silly noises or flashing lights or too many bright colors.

Edward is not without his faults. He can be neglectful at times, deeming his own work more important than the needs of his child. He’ll never let them sit in their own filth or go hungry, but on an emotional level, he’s been known not to pay as much attention to the child as he should at times.

However, Edward’s own terrible childhood is the one thing he clings to, using it as a way to remind him he needs to be a better father. Repeating his father’s mistakes is one of his biggest fears with his child, and he’s terrified of following in his own footsteps. It’s this realization that often pulls Edward back from the brink when he starts to get to be too much, whether it be too impatient or grouchy with his child.

If reformed, he does need serious therapy to keep himself and his mental state in check. He will attend therapy on a consistent basis to work on his own issues that he has with his father, and developing helpful coping skills to make sure he doesn’t repeat the same mistakes.

He definitely does enjoy watching his child grow up. Getting to witness them as they experience something new within the world, like trying a new food or learning a new word or skill or reaching a milestone, is fascinating to him. He finds himself often curious about how the mind of his child works, and he wants to foster their intelligence as much as he possibly can.

If the mom is in the picture, he often ends up hiding his affection for his child from her. He views it as weak, and won’t show himself being vulnerable in front of anyone else with his child, especially not in front of his partner – but that doesn’t mean his partner doesn’t catch him from time to time, showing affection and gazing at his child with wonder in his own eyes that he could create something so tiny and innocent.

However, despite his narcissism, he does care for his child – seeing them as an extension of himself – and is determined to protect them no matter the cost.

♡ obviously he is obsessive. and loves repetitive actions and routines. his main special interest would be the renewal fund and the wayne family. (obviously) he has a big sense of moral justice. ⋆⭒ one of his main repetitive actions would be counting. he does this a lot with his fingers, the books on his shelf, or even the letters on a neon sign outside. just quickly under his breath. ⋆⭒ he also would sway. he usually does this in his apartment, when hes scrolling nigma or something. it really calms him. i think he would be too self-conscious to do it in public though. the King of masking. but occasionally he cant help himself when he's really focused at a café or something.

♡ but some of his other interests include: retro games, ancient civilizations, and general puzzle games. and god this man is a consistent minesweeper frequenter. heavy on frequent. loves 2048, sudoku, does the daily crossword on newspapers.

♡ half of the apps on his phone has to be games. 'games on his phone?' yes.

♡ i think he also has a undying love for pokemon. unsure what his favorite type would be, i think he would cycle through different types every single time the interest pops back up in his head again.

♡ AND GUYS GENUINELY HERE ME OUT. i think he helped code the club penguin rewritten website . im So. so serious on this one.

♡ OH OH. OHHH!! one of his longest lasting special interests? languages. how this starts? i imagine young edward back at the orphanage, already finished reading every single book he could find... every single english book, that is. maybe he'd sneak into the library. he's sure those books have riddles that can only be solved if you understand its language first. ⋆⭒ he finds interest in the progression of languages especially. how they change over time, and the origin of words and their sounds. ⋆⭒ though i don't think he would be a polyglot. but he'd know a lot of random words here and there, and some slang words no one would expect him to know from many languages!

♡ but a language he especially would like is ASL. he'd have a heightened interest of any form of communication that doesn't involve words. like, the font wingdings y'know? any kind of 'code.' ⋆⭒ he'd especially love learning ASL on his own during his younger years, since he struggled with speaking more often back then. he doesn't talk to anyone much now a days anyways, unless its small talk. (okk i see you selective mutism representation! >_< )

♡ he is sadistic. not a headcanon, just fact. this can be seen in his killings in the movie. though he primarily killed to give a point to the city of gotham, and to become a symbol much bigger than himself, he never gives these people quick and simple deaths. he enjoys these killings. cutting off the mayor’s thumb while he was still alive, sticking rat poison in officer savage, and sticking his head in a rat cage, waiting for them to eat him alive shown for everyone to watch. these were thought out, and he enjoyed watching. he enjoyed putting on a show, and their deaths were his entertainment.

♡ though outside of being the riddler, edward has a lot of self hatred. this fronts as anger, standoffish and anti-social behaviors. he doesn't mean to be mean, its just deep rooted. a combined hatred of everyone who'd hurt him prior.

♡ even though he hates himself, he also thinks of himself as better than anyone else. he feels as if he is worthy, and he has the intellect to show it. he consistently searches for small, daily positions that keep him in power.

♡ has a love/hate relationship with his own intellect. he wishes he wasn't cursed with his knowledge, sometimes he just wishes he could be blind and stupid to the darkness of the city. but he prides himself in being smart, especially in being good with numbers. its something he knows he can actually do correctly. he loves the certainty of numbers, how they never change or lie.

♡ i think would mostly hate how smart he was when he was younger. he hated how it distanced himself from genuinely everyone, and at one point he wasn't sure if he just enjoyed being reclusive or if he simply just got used to it. ⋆⭒ he would hate how the other kids or his classmates would only talk to him when they needed answers for their work and how they would expect him to know everything. (he sadly did.)

♡ he loves consistency. but hates complacency. he knows things can change, things could be better. but he finds comfort in his routines, even if it makes his world grey.

♡ due to religion being constantly drilled into his brain throughout his childhood, he experiences severe trauma. when he does something that is not pleasing to the beliefs he was taught, he self deprecates. lots of talking down on himself. he still can remember a few memory verses and prayers, and sometimes obsessively recites them to himself. ⋆⭒ he knows some of his fears are honestly a little irrational, that maybe one day he'll just be struck down. he's trying not to let them take over his logic, but he struggles. he is constantly upset that he still has these childhood fears that bind him.

♡ speaking of his time during the orphanage: his dirty unkempt upbringing and the long lasting effects of it could be seen in his living space. the chaotic and 'dirty' environment is almost comforting to him. sticky notes with ramblings of riddles and math problems. besides, his brain works too fast to care where things were placed in his home.  

♡ despite his messy apartment, he hates feeling dirty. this is also thanks to the orphanage. he’s well kempt. everything is messy, not dirty. the orphanage was sadly, both. he looks like a sopping wet rat, it doesn't mean he smells like one though.

♡ he also has a fear of smelling bad, despite knowing he thoroughly washes. ⋆⭒ i think he would smell like soap or just his laundry detergent. he wants to try different scents, he kind of likes the idea of having a 'signature scent,' but honestly some smells give him a headache if they're too concentrated. and he can't have that while doing his everyday activities. ⋆⭒ its the kind of scent where you can only really smell it on the person when you hug them, y'know? which is kind of fine to him, he'd rather smell like nothing than something bad.

♡ he absolutely despises drops. any kind of heavy drug really he stays away from. he knows just how easily it can unravel a person, after constantly watching kids as young as 12 years old become addicted to it. his intellect would go to waste if he ever decided to start using.

♡ BUT! definitely smokes weed, or just in general he smokes. he probably tried it for the first time in his early twenties, hated it and dropped it. but he CANNOT continue handling his anxieties raw. so he picks it up again in his thirties. only occasionally... kind of.

♡ he loves LOVES animals. i like to think he had a little hyperfixation on animals and the general care for them when he was younger, so despite never having a pet, he could definitely at least recommend what to feed your average household pet.

Eddie talks in his sleep. It usually occurs when he's stressed - He can be heard muttering mathematical equations or random pieces of poetry.

He was born in England but moved to Gotham when he was young to find better opportunities.

Edward's mother died in childbirth, his father blamed him for this and dumped Eddie in an orphanage when he was 8.

When he married Akko Akino, Edward took her surname because he wanted a fresh start away from his past.

He smokes and the longest he quit was 6 years after the birth of his daughter, Evelyn.

Edward has never EVER hit his daughter, or Oswald, or Victoria. A stern look from him is enough to make the trio settle down