New Year's Resolutions for People who Already Have Too Much on their Plate
Something I've learned over the past few years, but particularly this year, is that I have a habit of taking on way too many projects when they don't seem to be that time-consuming, and then getting pulled under completely when they ramp up. Knowing the motivation of the people who follow my posts (big hello to all my baby Oxbridge undergrads from someone who's now out the other side and doing a Cambridge MPhil), I thought some resolutions for people who don't have the time to take on any more habits or projects might be of use!
Take time every day to be in the moment It's really easy to get stuck in a routine where you get up, power through the things you need to do, stick yourself into work, eat your lunch as quickly as possible, and then go back into work without giving yourself a time to just be. Find a moment during the day, and just take that moment to completely disconnect from everything and just focus on that one thing. Some people really enjoy doing this at mealtimes- I personally can't do this because I really don't like just focusing on eating for various reasons, so I choose instead to just make sure that every time I shower I just focus on the ritual of getting myself clean, and then moisturising and taking care of my hair. It's not because I'm particularly bothered about my appearance, but because showering won't go faster if I'm thinking about work or letting my thoughts wander. Sometimes (not always) I also just think about a handful of things I'm grateful for while I'm doing this, to remind myself that although I'm constantly chasing new goals, I've achieved a hell of a lot along the way. Have an experiment for when a good moment is to do this in your own routine (either when showering, eating, exercising, etc)
Stop adding things to your to do list! I'm absolutely criminal about this- when something new crops up, I just go "oh I'll add it to the list of things I need to get done today," and I never end up getting everything on my list done. Either have a master to-do list and a separate daily to-do list (it's important that it's separate!) where you take things off the master list to do each day, or just put that thing to do on another day and keep yourself to a maximum number of things to do. If you finish your list, great! Enjoy the free time. You don't have to be doing things nonstop to be worth something, and often setting boundaries like this will help you be more productive.
Set yourself working hours It doesn't matter if you have an actual job or not- I started doing this when I was 19 as a second year by giving myself a starting time that accounted for either getting back from training or having a small lie in, and it meant that I actually had time to do the things that I valued- now I'm just doing a master's thesis, I can also give myself weekends off, which is massively helpful for my motivation during the week
Make that date with that friend You know you've been putting off loads of coffees or drinks or whatever with individual friends because you're too busy with work. Newsflash (which I think everyone has learned or will learn the hard way): if you say you're always busy, people will stop asking. Likewise, if you spend your entire time waiting to be asked, you'll find yourself disappointed- what is the person on the other end doing but reaching out instead of waiting? Don't be passive- do it, even if it takes an hour of your time. If someone you've been meaning to see asks to hang out, make it a priority. Your life is just as important as your work, and you need to feed both soul and mind (not to be too clichΓ©)
Sort your projects into tiers Previously, I've been very guilty of assuming that everything I do is equally important, but that's never been the case. Coursework submitted for a grade, for example, is more important than work that you've just submitted for a supervision that will be marked but not submitted for a grade. Things shift priority, but having a mental tier list is super useful in terms of thinking about where you're going to be allocating your time and energy. For my thesis, I've broken it down into a group of things (literature review, experiments, stats, machine learning, writeup) that are shifting priority- experiments was super important for me to get finished before Christmas so the lit review took a backseat, but now I've finished them I can focus back on the lit review. I've also got my side-projects in a tier as well- my tutoring job rose a bit over the holidays because I needed a bit of cash, and so did one of the two books I'm editing because we needed to prepare to go to print; now both are done and any further work on those is back on the lowest tier. Not everything needs your whole heart and soul thrown into it at all times.
Find a non-competitive hobby I think busy people are absolutely the most guilty of finding ways to spend their free time that involve pushing themselves to their absolute limits, just not for work. I've been rowing since 2018 now, and my focus for it has always been to push myself and compete, and that's fine, but it can't be the only thing I do with my free time. Choral singing is something I also do in my free time, and from 2011-2018 I was competitive as I was being prepped to potentially go to a conservatoire. The current choir I'm in gives me space to grow and improve, but I'm not pushing myself to my limit every week- I enjoy the new pieces, but ultimately I just like being musical. Same goes for the odd times I play the cello when my college orchestra or a student musical is looking for a spare cellist- it's not something I'm looking necessarily to be the best at, it's just something I enjoy. On top of that, there's the things I do without the intention of ever trying to improve (with the assumption that the improvements will just come the more I do them)- this category includes cooking nice things, doing crosswords, and running. I'm not built as a runner- I have terrible knees and I'm built like someone who spends their spare time carrying around boats. I'm not looking to race anyone, and I'm not really even looking to get faster- I just enjoy getting out and running sometimes. Point is, you can have things outside of work that you compete in, but you need things that you enjoy doing and can improve in, as well as things you're not good at but enjoy. Don't let everything be ruled by perfectionism (sometimes it's ok to be crap at things!)
My mantra for this year is going to be how you do anything is how you do everything - think about what this means for you, and what you'd like to achieve. Do everything deliberately, and make sure you leave space for yourself in there.
Happy New Year!
