#renposting

"I suppose it's pointless to try and explain myself to you now, when you're already gone. I must look foolish, talking to a bird, but I know it's you. In some strange, intangible way, I know you're listening. Did you send this creature to watch over me? To guide me, or mock me? Or simply to observe? …Does it really matter, when you aren't here regardless?"

"What a mess I've made of things. It's… strange, that this place is my escape. That the First would become my refuge away from home, after everything I've endured here. After everything we've endured. I'd like to think that it's simply because of the tranquillity this place brings, how far it is from my problems on the Source… but I think it's something else, too. I think there's something in me that yearns. Yearns for…"

"Look at me, baring my soul to a bird. To you, of all people. But I suppose we used to do this quite frequently, before everything, if we were so close. How many hours did we three while away together? Countless, I imagine. Even in this life, knowing what little I know now, my mind drifts constantly back to the two of you. How much more back then? Did this sensation in my breast ache less, knowing I could come home to you? Or did it burn all the brighter?"

"I wish I knew. I wish I remembered it all. But I will cling tightly to the memories that I am afforded, every scrap of them, as I promised. Then, one day, when my time is come, we shall while away the days once more. This I swear."