after being liberated from her bodily servitude to the high lord of autumn, iphigenia belrose takes refuge in the derelict spring court alongside her savior: the high lord of spring himself, tamlin. together, they claw their way towards their new beginning.
pairing: tamlin/iphigenia belrose (oc)
rating: explicit
word count: 7.5k/66k
a/n: avoidant attachment style vs anxious attachment style who y'all got ‼️‼️‼️ just a snippet for tunglr dot hell but find the full chapter on ao3 if ! ur nasty
chapter eleven: recursion
Everything seems to swirl. Steam curls up from the bath in languid, unhurried tendrils, thick in its clouding of the chambers, then it tumbles into the open-window morning in coiling billows. The surface of the water ripples concentrically, outer rings lapping against outer rings, their grooves fading in serpentine time. Even the tinkles to come from below emerge round and looping.
From within her fragrant haze, Iphigenia observes these things without seeing them. Her hair fans out from her shoulders where it has been submerged. Her nails glide along the smooth slopes of her limbs, just as they have for the better part of an hour. Circles and circles and circles.
She did not sleep. She could not. An endless loop: He hasn't had time for any of us. Not since… Not 'til you.
Each word teased apart and wound back together, over, over, over, hastened on by the reality of his tongue pressed to her—which happened and kept happening after. She felt him all through her sleepless night. He was in every shift of her sheets against her overwarm skin. He was in the tug at her nape as she turned to one side, then to the other. He was behind the close of her eyes; he was pressed between her thighs, and when she parted them, she could feel him there.
Still, she can feel him there.
Not since… Not 'til you.
Decades.
If it has not been since, and it has not been until, it would mean that decades have passed since last he knew a female. It would mean that in all that time he spent willful and withdrawn, she alone roused him. Not only his vigor—but his spirits, too. It would mean that despite his heart being unmoved, something else in him had been
By her.
Her touch drifts in the veiled heat, grazing low along her navel, and she shudders. The steam swirls. The water ripples.
It cannot mean what it seems to mean.
Yet something in her has stirred, and it will not permit her rest. She allows her fingers to descend lower, venturing past the slick slope of her abdomen and into the crook beside her entrance. The slip there changes. Richer. More ample. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth.
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Thou art not lovelier than lilacs,--no,
Nor honeysuckle; thou art not more fair
Than small white single poppies,--I can bear
Thy beauty; though I bend before thee, though
From left to right, not knowing where to go,
I turn my troubled eyes, nor here nor there
Find any refuge from thee, yet I swear
So has it been with mist,--with moonlight so.
Edna St. Vincent Millay, Thou art not lovelier than lilacs,--no
I am a huge Assassin's Creed fan, and I remember playing AC II for the first time and just hating Vieri de Pazzi until I read that letter from Frei Giocondo in the database about Vieri's behaviour being born from a need from love and validation from his father Francesco, and I felt sad for him after reading the letter, something I was definately not expecting. Recently I started playing the Ezio trilogy again, and this idea came to my mind: What if Vieri lived and was redeemed? Hear me out:
When Ezio is about to kill Vieri in San Gimignano, Mario stops him, deciding to take Vieri as prisioner back to Monterigionni so they can interrogate him. At first, Vieri is arrogant and tight-lipped. But Ezio throws the letter from Frei Giocondo at his feet. Seeing his deepest insecurities laid bare—by his hated rival no less—cracks Vieri's defensive wall. He reveals Rodrigo Borgia is the leader of the Templar Order and the man behind the death of the Ezio's father and brothers, and that Francesco has plans to Florence, tough he doesn't know excatly what his father intends to do, since Francesco never told him the whole plan. Ezio heads to Florence, meets La Volpe and uncovers the specifics of the Pazzi Conspiracy against the Medici family, while in Monteriggioni, Vieri manages a desperate escape, intending to prove his worth to his father once and for all by warning him about Ezio or joining Francesco in wathever he is up to. He rides hard for Florence and arrives just as the Pazzi attack begins, but witnessing the brutal chaos of the attack he realizes his family's "grand vision" is just senseless slaughter. During the chaos, Giuliano de' Medici is assassinated, Lorenzo de' Medici is wounded and Ezio is overwhelmed trying to protect Lorenzo. As Francesco de' Pazzi corners them, Vieri steps into the square. Francesco demands Vieri strike down Lorenzo and prove his loyalty. Vieri hesitates, looking at his father and then at Ezio. Realizing he will never earn the love he sought, Vieri turns his blade against his own father's men, giving Ezio and Lorenzo room to escape, but Vieri is overwhelmed, beaten, and captured by his own father’s loyalists.
With Lorenzo safe, Ezio hunts down Francesco to end the madness. Disgusted by his son's treason, Francesco decides to make a public spectacle, preparing to hang Vieri from the windows of the Palazzo della Signoria (foreshadowing his own fate) to prove that the Pazzi place their cause above blood. Ezio scales the Palazzo della Signoria, kills the guards, slashes the rope holding Vieri, hands him a stolen guard's sword, and together they face down Francesco de Pazzi. As Ezio delivers the fatal blow to Francesco, the dying Templar gazes past Ezio at his son, cursing him with his last breath. With the Pazzi Conspiracy dismantled, Lorenzo de' Medici orders the total erasure of the Pazzi name from Florence—demanding the execution or banishment of anyone associated with the bloodline. Ezio speaks to Lorenzo on Vieri's behalf, reminding him that they would both be dead if Vieri hadn't held the line. Lorenzo agrees to grant Vieri a full pardon under three strict conditions: 1) He must formally renounce the Pazzi name forever. 2) He is permanently exiled from the city of Florence. 3) He must live out his days under a new identity. Stripped of his noble title, land, and family name, Vieri becomes an exile. He takes the name Vieri Giocondo, in honor of Frei Giocondo, and returns to Monterigionni, where he works under Mario Auditore for the next years to make up for his past cruelties, helping to rebuild Monteriggioni and manage the town's defenses, renovations, finances, and supply lines—so Claudia is no longer alone in her 'slavery'. Mario also makes him train with the mercenaries (people he used to treat like playthings in the past). Of course people are initially suspiscious and hostile towards him, and things between him and Ezio remain tense for several years, cuz Vieri was involved in the machinery that killed Giovanni, Federico and Petruccio after all and that's a very deep scar, but slowly they come to realize they are a mirror to each other: Two young men who inheritted their fathers' war, who were shaped by Giovanni and Francesco's expectations, but who responded differently.
After the Villa attack in AC Brotherhood, Ezio entrusts Vieri with his family's lives and heads to Rome. Vieri tries his absolute best to escort Maria and Claudia to safety, but like canon, the women refuse to sit idly by in safety while Ezio faces the Borgia alone. Despite Vieri's protests and attempts to follow Ezio's orders, Maria and Claudia go to Rome, where they reunite with Ezio in the Rosa In Fiori. Vieri gives the Assassin an exasperated look and says 'Don't look at me like that, Ezio. I tried to stop them. It was entirely their idea'. While Claudia and Maria take over the brothel and Ezio is out on high-profile assassinations, Vieri works alongside Machiavelli at the Tiber Island hideout, helping to train the new Assassin recruits. Machiavelli is initially suspiscious of Vieri, and the former Pazzi too is not particularly fond of the politician, but they run the hideout quite well. Ezio later formally inducts Vieri into the Assassin Order alongside Claudia, bringing Vieri's journey to full circle. During the final battle against Cesare’s forces in Rome, Vieri stands alongside Ezio, Machiavelli, La Volpe, Claudia and Bartolomeo, and remains with the others in the city while Ezio hunts down Cesare in Viana.
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I chose to completely ignore the long list of books patiently waiting on my shelves and instead filled February with mood-reading. And I already found a new 10-star book! (And then got sidetracked delving into that book's series.)
Total books: 11 | New reads: 10 | Total books read this year: 16
January | March
#1 - Murder in Mesopotamia by Agatha Christie - 3 stars (audio)
"As a matter of fact it wouldn’t be safe to tell any man the truth about his wife! Funnily enough, I’d trust most women with the truth about their husbands. Women can accept the fact that a man is a rotter, a swindler, a drug taker, a confirmed liar, and a general swine, without batting an eyelash, and without its impairing their affection for the brute in the least. Women are wonderful realists."
I've been meaning to get back around to reading the odd Christie here and there, and saw that this one takes place chronologically just before Murder on the Orient Express*, and the concept was interesting, so here we are.
This one was a pretty straight-forward closed-circle mystery and, while I didn't really connect with most of the cast or put much effort into guessing the solution, I was at least decently entertained right until the end. That solution is what brought my rating down. It was too silly for me to buy. When it was first suggested earlier in the investigation I assumed that it was a red herring because it was that absurd.
I did have a good laugh at Poirot explaining what "the sex appeal" was.
*future me popping in to say another list said this was not in fact the case
#2 - His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik - 5 stars (audio)
Surely there could be nothing ahead which they could not face together.
It may have taken me a while, but I'm finally here, and y'all weren't kidding about this book. I knew within the first chapter that I was going to love it. No proper review to follow; I simply had a fantastic time.
The worldbuilding, the details, the style, the characterization, the dragons. Turns out I'm picky when it comes to dragons, and Novik's dragons are perfect. I'm also picky when it comes to Novik herself, but this one was a solid hit. I will definitely read more.
My only trouble was in keeping track of all of the side/minor characters, dragons and humans both. This, as usual, probably would have been easier to manage reading rather than listening.
Also, cheers to Novik for letting her women keep their stays, even if they didn't like skirts. Finally some sense.
More like this: the Lady Trent series, for the historical fantasy, the general style, and dragons; and Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, again for the well-grounded historical fantasy, specifically the Napoleonic period.
#3 - Renascence and Other Poems by Edna St. Vincent Millay - 3 stars
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go, --so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot nor shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering him!
- from "Sonnets"
I had come across a couple of Millay's poems before picking up this little volume. "Tavern" was familiar, but I don't think I've ever read the others before. I love her imagery, even if I can't quite catch the rhythm of her style.
#4 - One, Two, Buckle My Shoe by Agatha Christie - 3 stars (audio)
Profiting by a long experience of the English people, Poirot suggested a cup of tea.
This one started out strongly, and I thought I had the shape of the mystery pretty early on. Then more and more twists appeared, and I lost track, and by the end I was thoroughly confused. Incredibly convoluted.
There was one conversation right at the end, during the confession, that caught me wholly off-guard, though, and really gave me something to chew on. I don't know if the rest of the book was worth it. More noodling required.
Original review here. I cannot believe it's taken me this long to get back to this series, but I intend to actually read it through this time around.
As a note: I will continue to count three volumes at a time as one book, since they're so small.
#6 - Sourcery by Terry Pratchett - 3.5 stars
"It's vital to remember who you really are. It's very important. It isn't a good idea to rely on other people or things to do it for you, you see. They always get it wrong."
"I'll try and remember," said Coin.
"It's very important," Rincewind repeated, almost to himself.
Now this is starting to feel like Discworld!
I enjoyed this one much more than The Light Fantastic. It felt more cohesive and like it had a proper direction. And, against all expectations, Rincewind is kind of growing on me. The ending in particular had me glued to my seat (in my car, after work, feverishly flipping pages).
Lots of lore-building in these three volumes, as well as expanding on Winry's character. Not the most exciting installments (I've always been meh about the Rush Valley tangent), but I do love Izumi Curtis.
#8 - X Y Z: A Detective Story by Anna Katharine Green - 3 stars
For a moment I stood dumbfounded at the position in which my recklessness had placed me. All the folly, the impertinence even, of the proceeding upon which I had entered, was revealed to me in its true colors, and I mentally inquired what could have induced me to thus hamper myself with the details of a mystery so entirely removed from the serious matter I had in charge.
Found this little book on a list I was browsing and promptly fell down a rabbit hole of classic detective fiction. On resurfacing, I ordered another of Green's collections from the library, but I could only access this one via the Internet Archive.
I proceeded to spend an afternoon reading it.
This short story was surprisingly engaging, full of twists and melodrama. Oddly charming. Slightly baffling.
#9 - Throne of Jade by Naomi Novik - 4 stars (audio)
"If I were very offensive, do you suppose they would go away now?"
I wanted to dive into the second Temeraire book directly, but decided to stick with audio and two other people were in the hold line ahead of me; so I languished for a couple of weeks (only to realize just before my turn came up that I could have just...picked up a printed copy at the library).
This is a pretty slow-paced series, I'm coming to find. Well-paced, but heavily character-focused. I really thought we'd get to China well before the 70% mark. That last third was chock-full of new settings and characters and ideas and drama to keep up with.
However, I remain delighted by Novik's worldbuilding, especially her efforts to keep the characters' sensibilities accurate to the time and cultures they each live in. (As an example, Laurence is anti-slavery not because he's the protagonist and this is good by modern standards; but because his father is a pro-abolitionist who is friends with William Wilberforce and who raised his children with these values.) It's all fairly grounded and realistic.
Also Novik's favorite word in this series seems to be "particular", made very noticeable by how the narrator pronounces it.
Lan Fan is one of my favorite characters, so of course I was excited to get into this portion of the story. (I like Ling [Lin??*] as well, but largely for his dynamic with Lan Fan.) This one feels better paced than the last set, though possibly that's because the backstory has mostly been established and we don't have too many character introductions to go. I think.
*The multiple-names-for-characters thing is starting to really confuse me. Jean is Jan? Riza is Liza? Someone help me.
#11 - Black Powder War by Naomi Novik - 4 stars (audio)
"I will see you bereft of all that you have, of home and happiness and beautiful things. I will see your nation cast down and your allies drawn away. I will see you as alone and friendless and wretched as am I; and then you may live as long as you like, in some dark and lonely corner of the earth, and I shall call myself content."
NAOMI STOP KILLING EVERYONE CHALLENGE.
The irony is that I saw a post going around here about the time I started reading this installment that said something like "Modern people forget how easy it is to die" and my brain went "Yeah that's something I need to remember for writing" and then this. THIS. STOP IT.
It was hard enough keeping track of the crew--all the while reminding myself that when Laurence says "the boys" he literally is talking about children--and then Novik KEEPS KILLING THEM OFF IN HORRIBLE WAYS. AUGH. (And yes, I know it's in a different alternate history and like three hundred years apart but so many horrible things happened in the Istanbul section and I kept having flashbacks to Pawn in Frankincense. And suffering.)
Anyway.
This series is shaping up to be an entirely different kind of adventure than I was expecting--not that I was really expecting anything in particular, but I didn't expect revenge and politics to feature quite so prominently. Also the summary mentioned a "shattering betrayal" so I was braced for that and? Which part was the betrayal? Was that the British not sending reinforcements? The hints at the beginning with the original message that sent them on this escapade? The trouble in Istanbul? I'm confused.
Doesn't matter because suddenly we got to meet Iskierka and I about died. She's perfect. (And so is Tharkay. I like him.)
Also the villain monologue was excellent.
DNF:
X6: A Novellanthology edited by Keith Stevenson - This is a soft DNF. I'm in the middle of the third story and it's...not going well. I might poke around at one or two of the others but I don't think this is for me; not sure if it's style or this collection in particular.
Queen of Shifting Sands by Kaitlyn Carter Brown - Gave it two chapters because the setting was interesting, but this needed editing. I had to reread whole paragraphs multiple times to figure out who was doing and saying and wearing what; and it was too heavy in the descriptions when we're still trying to work out why everyone is grieving and/or panicking.
Currently Reading:
Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey - On hold while I write the sci-fi project that took over my brain this month. I can't have silly funny non-scientifically-accurate times and read this serious sci-fi at the same time. (I have enjoyed it so far, despite the widespread carnage.)
