#rejection therapy

Last night, I auditioned for a small theater show my school is doing. I was so nervous! It’s been almost two years since I’ve done any acting, but I have friends in the theater department who reached out to me and told me I should audition.

The audition was fun, and it was sillier than I expected. I got to make some of my friends laugh, which is always a plus. I’ve never thought myself to be a particularly good actress, but to be honest, I don’t think I always portray my own abilities accurately. What I do know is that I went out there and did my best.

I was told that if I was cast, I would receive an email by a certain point in the day. I felt some of the nervousness coming back as it got closer and closer to time, and every time checked my email nothing was waiting for me. When there was only 15 minutes left until that deadline, I could feel the nervousness pooling in my stomach. So, you know what I did while I waited?

I meditated!

(Just realized I can change the color. Very cool.)

I tried meditating for the first time a couple years ago, and it helps me so much, but I have trouble doing it consistently. I knew I wanted it to be a key part in my process over the next few weeks, and it helped a lot. When I went back and checked my email afterwards, I know it’d be empty, but I had to get the confirmation. I was a little sad, but I didn’t feel as awful as I normally do. I had to try really hard not to beat myself up, which is something I normally do.

Trying to reroute my thoughts…

I’m not a good actor. There were lots of talented people who auditioned.

They didn’t like me. There were a limited number of spots.

This is why I have avoided auditions since college started. My friends asked me to audition! They were so excited to see me!

That was a waste of time. It was a good experience that I got to share with others.

Most importantly, this doesn’t say anything about me as a person! Not every opportunity is meant for everyone and that is okay! It’s worth it to try out lots of new things for the sake of the experience!

My interests

Math

Track

Chereography

Boxing

Hoodoo

Im not pagan but I share sum beliefs

Law of assumption

Quantum physics

Shifting

Subliminals

Sacred geometry

Alchemy

Your shadow

Obviously manifesting

Light work

Chakras

Ancient symbols

Third eye

Black arts

Black magic

Astronomy

Witchcraft

Astral projection

Law of attraction

Deities

Aliens

Self concept

CIA documents

Akashic records

Soul cleansing

Ian really hard on crystals

4d/5d supremacy

Detachment

Reincarnation

Void state

Rejection therapy