#reform conversion

My partner and I are in the process of converting to Reform Judaism, and we’re currently enrolled in the URJ’s Introduction to Judaism course. We’re also quite poor, and affording this class is certainly a challenge for us, but the folks at URJ have worked with us every step of the way.

If you don’t have the means to pay $450 for the course, perhaps $300 is more affordable (it’s only $150 to add an extra person, so if you can find a study buddy that would be $600 for the two of you, which is what me and my partner are doing).

URJ also offers payment plans, which is the only way we can afford the course! We worked together with a rabbi at URJ to put together a payment plan that will work for us. We didn’t need a discount, but they also do offer discounts and scholarships if you can’t afford the course even with a payment plan. From what I understand they really work hard to not turn people away due to money, and it’s always worth a shot to reach out to them!

Not sure if that person is hoping to convert to reform, but I just wanted to say that if they do want to take a course but are unable to afford it, there’s more options available to them than they might think! Of course there’s also tons of free resources online, but I just wanted to share this in case they were really hoping to take a class.

https://reformjudaism.org/learning/judaism-classes

Anyway, I hope you’re well! Have a great day! :)

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1. Started dating a guy I met at my rabbi’s pesach seder. He was raised Orthodox, practices along reformative lines, and is dyspraxic/ace. We’re a lovely neurodivergent couple (I’m autistic), if I do say so myself.

2. My rabbi seems to keep forgetting the amount of stuff I know, as well as forgetting what he’s told me (he said I would have my bd and mikveh by the new year, now he’s saying it’s far away and saying it’s fine to study with someone else), which is frustrating. I’m going to get bf to help me write up a list of stuff I know and present it to him to argue that I’m at a place where I can convert.

3. It’s wonderful to have someone to do holiday stuff with (even if most of what we’re doing is havdallah). We also get to have random conversations around halacha, where one of us ends up looking stuff up.

4. Started regularly attending a monthly Friday evening independent minyan. Also attending a Partnership Minyan shabbat service and will probably be returning (bf likes the familiarity of an orthodox service, but with egalitarianism b/c feminism is important to both of us).

5. The bf’s shul might be starting an adult hebrew class, which would be amazing. BF does speak modern hebrew so I can double check with him when I have a question about my independent study, but it’s not quite the same. And I’m pretty sure that learning how to write a language from a dyspraxic isn’t a great idea. :-p 

6. I’ve been staying overnight at bf’s most Fridays, which has meant that I’m able to attend morning services far more frequently. We’re also looking for places to live together (as roommates and a third person--we were thinking about becoming roommates before we started dating) and they’re all much, much closer to the “jewish” part of our city than where I am. 

Um... I think that’s it? 

(part 2) I live in a liberal city in the pacific northwest (USA) and there is a reform temple very close to me, which is of course closed currently. There is an email, to contact the rabbi, but I'm not sure if that's appropriate. They offer classes, and help people with conversion, but I can't afford the classes yet. I guess I'm asking: at what point in my journey should I seek out a rabbi, and from where? Is it appropriate to email the rabbi close to me if I can't start classes there now? 

[2/2] But I'm nervous that a conserv. rabbi would turn me away because of my feelings on tattoos, or that I might be judged by a congregation (that's less of an issue tbh, I'm used to being judged bc of my tattoos. but still not great). I've considered converting reform because I've heard they're on the whole more forgiving about tattoos, but I just don't connect with reform teachings like I do with conservative. Should I sacrifice tattoos? Would I be welcome in a conserv. synagogue if I didn't?

Mod here. While I know that you aren’t currently a conversion student, anon, if you reach that point you should definitely discuss this with your converting rabbi. Even if one or more respondents provide a similar answer to your rabbi’s initial (or ongoing) perspective, it’s important that you talk to your converting rabbi about this. For someone working with a rabbi towards conversion, that rabbi is supposed to be there to help them with questions like this as they build an authentic personal Jewish life.