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*Scott and Martyn skipping stones on lake*
Scott: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Martyn, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
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Scott: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?
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Scott, at Martyn's funeral: I need a moment with them.
Everyone: Of course. *They leave*
Scott, leaning over Martyn′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Martyn: Yeah, no shit.
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Martyn, teaching Scott to drive: Okay, you're driving and Cleo and Jimmy walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Scott: Oh, definitely Jimmy. I could never hurt Cleo.
Martyn, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.
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Jimmy: What are you getting Scott for the holidays?
Martyn: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.
Gem: I'm getting Scott a divorce lawyer.
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Scott: I eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy.
Scott: And my heart has been severely damaged, so Martyn, if you’re out there—
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Martyn: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!
Scott: ...
Martyn: Oh, right. The lying.
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Martyn: Two bros!
Scott: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Martyn and Scott, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!
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