#rant vent

I hate being chronically ill

Someone has to say it.

Do you ever think too much about people being mutually aware of their limitations in communicating and genuinely trying sincerely to understand each other and make real effort to work together and clarify what they don’t or might not understand and you end up feeling such an intense feeling of jealousy that you are left with inconsolable rage because you can never trust anyone to even try that hard so every time you need to communicate with people and struggle to find and use the exact most universally correct sentence because one doesn’t exist you just lose all ability to speak and the terror of using the wrong words takes your ability to even vocalize at all and all you’re left with is a puddle of tears and snot and not one person even looked your way to notice when you started crying and your memories of all the times it has happened get in the way of what you started with so you aren’t thinking about how much you wish you had the caring friendship those characters have anymore because all you can think of is how angry you are that you were raised by someone who deliberately misinterpreted every word you said and narrated that choice as some bizarre series of “teaching moments” about how everyone in the world will always find the worst way to misunderstand you and they’ll all be doing it on purpose so you’d better learn to only ever use the exact right words all the time or else everyone will think you’re stupid and they’ll be right?

I hate generative Ai so much I’m about to kill someone istg