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Vague vent! Not detailed at all tho.
Had a bit of a distressing therapy session yesterday. Haven't stopped thinking and worrying about it until now. Journaling actually helped though. Talking to friends was a good distraction. :]
Was reading a journal entry from this morning and it made me cry. We don't need to feel like this.
Anxiety sucks. Didn't know it was going to be this bad.
-🪐 (they/he)
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btw if u "ship" real people do NOT talk to me
yall the reason jack and Mark don't work together anymore and you haven't even learned yr fucking lesson clearly cz now yr all shipping him with the moron from the new dumbass fandom
i just hate ships at this point
learn to like the characters normally instead of writing and drawing them all nsfw all the bloody time. ur pathetic. ur gross.
i hate everyone I'm going to hurt someone
My youngest sibling has been using neopronouns for like a month or so and now everyone is expected to use neopronouns and my family actually is using his prefered pronouns (he/zey/kit/she/i dont remember the rest) and just added kit/kitself (which ive had listed as one of my pronouns for months).
I have been using neopronouns for over six months and no one has ever used neopronouns for me.
I have never heard anyone use neopronouns for me. Everyone uses she and sometimes they for me which is fine but i just thought it was too much effort for everyone to use neopronouns for me. But now that hes started using neopronouns, suddenly everyone is making an effort to use them.
It hurts and its unfair and i hate it. I hate being so jealous of a fucking 11 year old. But it hurts. Ive been somewhat open about gender/pronouns but no one in my family can be bothered to give a shit.
The second that either of my siblings change their gender or sexuality, they announce it to the family/household groupchat. But ive never done that because its selfish and i dont matter. But like im so jealous they can do that and not feel selfish and rude about it. That they can push my dad to use their prefered pronouns. That my parents use whatever pronouns they want yet im stuck with she/her.
Like i doubt my parents even remember/know my prefered pronouns and genders and sexualities. If i asked the family gc (which im gonna do after this post), id get outdated responses.
I decorated my ita bag with all of my sexualities and genders for a pride event and no one asked what any of them mean. My arms were full of queer kandi and none of my family members asked what they were. It hurt.
Yes im insanely lucky, my parents are supportive to all of us and try their hardest, but it just sucks.
help help help sos sos sos get me out of this house
Oh I'm so GLAD I spent all that time writing image IDs only for Tumblr to DELETE the post edit GOD FORBID a woman do ANYTHING. Stupid website
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(mini rant) tbh i feel like being allergic to many foods or ingredients isn’t talked about enough. as someone who has allergies to major food ingredients it is genuinely so misery inducing. not being able to feel normal and eat the same things that everyone else does feels so dehumanizing, and that isn’t even taking into account the fact that i have to eat the same few things every single day of my life because trying new things could be dangerous, i have so many allergies to the point where its been difficult to remember what i even have an allergy to at times. i have eaten things im allergic to without even realizing it because i have so many allergies that its genuinely overwhelming trying to constantly think “can i have this?” and trying to remember every single thing i cant have.
it genuinely makes you feel like a black sheep trying to fit in with the herd. everyone is talking about how good this certain restaurant or dish is and you’re just looking at your plate, the same thing on it that you had yesterday and the day before that, and the day before that, etc. there are times where it has made me starve myself solely because eating the same things over and over again made me feel sick. it makes you so depressed and makes you try foods you know you can’t have solely because you want to feel normal and to fit in. going anywhere is hard because there are temptations no matter where you go. and don’t even get me started on going to places with people.
going to restaurants or parties for example. everyone is eating and you’re the one person that had to sit there with a home cooked meal, while everyone is eating all this delicious food they ordered or prepared. i have risked my own life on countless occasions all because i wanted to feel normal and eat the same things that others are. it is so unbelievably hard and dehumanizing. i really wished there was more people i could talk about this with that relates to it.
whoop whoop this is a rant post!!! !not looking to debate/discuss/argue!
lowk somebody followed one of my sideblogs (note: i do not block people on that account as i wish to keep it accessible to everyone) and when i checked who they were (since i had never seen that person before) one of their most recent things was a reblog of a post which ended with stuff like "fuck the tadc-critical community!!!" and it was about gooseworx being banned off tumblr because she's a transwoman and like i am sitting here VERY awkwardly. (keep in mind i am tadc critical myself and generally do not like gooseworx at all.) like. do i think tumblr hating trans women is shitty and goose didn't deserve to be banned for being a trans woman? obviously. that shit is so ass. but also like. being TADC-Critical or Gooseworx critical isn't because she is a trans woman. or because the "show didn't end how you wanted". its because theres a bad trans rep self insert misogynistic abusive rabbit in the show that overcasted everyone else and did horrible things. goose being trans had nothing to do with it. the ending was whatever. TADC just was not a good show in the end and it showed its trueer colors. goose was also racist btw. and a lot of other stuff. theres more to being tadc critical and other things than "omg tadc didnt end how i want!11!1" because that also overlaps with actual tadc fans in itself. its the bad writing and bad actions of goose and tadc that make people critical of tadc. gooseworx didn't deserved to be banned for being a trans woman! but you have to darn remember she is racist. and did bad things. also, generalizing a community (specifically the tadc critical community, along with anti-tadc and anti-gooseworx) and saying that all of us are not to be trusted, or that all of us were involved, or weaponized tumblr staff's transmisogyny or that we are pissy because "the show didn't end the way they wanted it to" after gooseworx's ban also isn't okay. there are valid reasons to be critical. i dont really like said person who reblogged that but again, keeping that sideblog open and accessible to everybody is something i promised myself to a long time ago. i just kinda had to say this outloud tldr: gooseworx being banned for being a trans woman is bad. but she still did bad things mind you. also dont like. be super rude about tadc-critical people. we just don't like the show and have opinions on it. okay bye.
I’ve had to use my anxiety weighted snail plus a lot today
