#ramasuri

Update chapter 12

Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you Still my heart this moment Or it might burst Could we stay right here Until the end of time until the earth stops turning Wanna love you until the seas run dry I've found the one I've waited for (Gorecki - Lamb)

Although it’s probably not the worst out there, Arkadia County Jail is not a nice place. It’s a relatively new facility, but it’s the first prison Clarke has ever been to and she doesn’t really care about her lack of comparable experience. It’s such a strong, physical feeling of relief to step outside again and feel the sun on her face, and she stops as soon as the gates close behind them to draw in a few large gulps of fresh air. Madi, although seemingly unfazed by it all, grabs her hand, pulling her towards the car faster than Clarke would normally walk.

“I wanna go home.”

“Me too, sweetie, but please don’t tear my arm off. Thank you.”

Depressing is what the place is. It’s probably supposed to be bleak, dreary and dejecting, but she’s visiting with a child and she feels it all the more. Clarke shudders as she unlocks the car and opens a back door for Madi to climb in. The bars on all windows, the heavy doors, bulky, armed guards with scrunched up, serious faces, their scrutinizing looks while they wait for people to fill in the forms, the body searches, bag searches, scans, noises, the cameras everywhere, and then you’re herded into a visiting room with a bunch of other people to find men in there that all wear the same clothes and all look alike. Even Finn, the pretty boy, conformed, hair shaved off mostly, wearing a stubby beard now. She hardly recognized him.

It was only their second visit and Clarke already dreads the next.

This time, Madi spent most of the visiting time at the kid’s table in the visiting room right away, coloring books for 3-year-olds, eyeing her dad from a distance. He’d tried to hug her but she’d quickly slipped from his arms and stood next to Clarke, holding on to her bag. 

Though Finn was actually okay today. He didn’t complain like the first time, didn’t try to tell her he wasn’t a bad guy, didn’t look for sympathy. Clarke wasn’t sure why he’d thought she’d have pity on him, but he had. Until she’d told him otherwise: that he deserved every single day in jail for what he did. Today, he hadn’t told her that when he got out, he’d be a better man. Her message during her first visit had been very clear anyway. She wanted him out of their lives, didn’t care where he went or what he did after serving his sentence - and she’d told him that. He’d looked at her quietly for a moment but hadn’t said another word about it.

This time, he was unusually quiet from the start, eyes glued to the table, his tone hushed as he talked about having so much time to think. Almost as if he was beginning to feel remorse, and maybe beginning to accept his guilt.

It would have been easy to feel sorry for him, his sad eyes flickering under her gaze as he scratched his beard, ran a hand over the stubble on his head. She’d searched in her heart as she looked at him squirming, but there was no sympathy. No words of comfort for him. She was only there because of Madi, not because she cared about Finn in any way.

Between visits, he wrote a letter to Lexa, asking his lawyer to hand it to her. Lexa had just crumbled it up and thrown it away.

On their first visit, Madi had asked Finn, of course, what he’d done and Clarke had almost torn off a piece of her seat, clamping her fingers into it. But Finn had stuck to the story as she’d asked him to. He’d hurt some people and hadn’t tried to help them. So Madi had told him - like she’d said she would - that he had done a very bad thing. That he should have apologized and should have done everything to make it better again. Quite possibly, that had been the moment Finn started to think. Being told by his 7-year-old daughter that he wasn’t a good person, even if she never said it out loud - perhaps that had been what it had taken to get through to him. It could have been the reason he started thinking, and the reason he was so different today.

Finally slipping into the driver’s seat of Lexa’s fancy car, Clarke lets out a relieved sigh.

“What do you think about ice cream?” she asks Madi, already sure of the answer. As expected, her daughter squeals happily. “We’re going to pick up Lexa, alright? She’s at home waiting for us.”

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Ramasuri

Chapter 7

Their lovemaking isn’t sweet and gentle. It’s not even all that loving. It’s desperate, rough, and dirty. Clarke clings to Lexa just like Lexa clings to Clarke, fingers digging into backs, thighs, pushing and pulling urgently, thrusting hard and without mercy. They’re sweating and panting, focused on one thing alone, moaning into each other’s mouths because they can’t stop wanting to devour each other. They aren’t careful. They’re not taking their time with each other. Instead, they’re desperate for a release. Holding on like ships in a storm, trying not to sink, they do not want to allow the other to slip away. Lexa climaxes first and with a scream, her whole body convulsing, and she drags Clarke with her into a violent orgasm, limbs and hips thrashing against each other. It leaves Clarke drained and exhausted, her mind swept clean, not a single thought tumbling around in it. She lies panting next to Lexa and wipes the sweat from her upper lip and her chest. Her nerves are buzzing like a swarm of bees. She’s sticky and hot and she still feels Lexa everywhere. 

This is glorious in its own way because they’ve proven they’re still alive, their hearts still beating. Undefeated. Breathing comes a little easier. They probably needed this. To lose their words, to forget about the pain, to have nothing else matter. Nothing but a good…

“Fuck,” Lexa groans, turning onto her side to look at Clarke. Her face is flushed and there are tiny beads of sweat on her forehead and her nose. She wipes at it before putting her head down on the pillow. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke says, moving her weakened body so she can turn as well. Now they’re facing each other. “Are you?”

“I guess…yeah…no. Not really. But I didn’t expect to be.”

“Guess it doesn’t work like that,” Clarke agrees. “Instant solution to all your problems. Just have some sexy times.”

Update: Chapter 4

Ramasuri is part 3 of Precious (series)

“Did you know that I fell for you, head over heels, the very first night?”

Hearing this takes Clarke by surprise. Lexa is staring straight ahead so Clarke looks at her profile, her lips pressed together tightly as if she’s biting back more words. Then Lexa turns her head, her gaze moving up to meet Clarke’s eyes.

“You knew, didn’t you?”

“I…wasn’t sure,” Clarke confesses. She’s still holding Lexa’s hand and tugs at it now to get to turn to her. They’re close, all she’d need to do is lean in a little and she could kiss her. She’d felt something between them right away, of course she had. But she hadn’t dared to think of it as love until much later. And that had been only because her mind was going wild. She was missing Lexa, she’d figured, missing what she was promising. Clarke had thought she was the one falling and was trying to stay sensible. She hadn’t dared to believe it, that for once, she could be lucky. It’s still oddly scary, and it is this fear that constricts her throat now, a familiar burn, a familiar feeling of tears rising into her eyes. Clarke blinks, furiously, but Lexa watches her closely and she won’t have missed her struggle.

“When we first met, I didn’t feel like I belonged. Anywhere. But then I watched you behind the bar, saw you look at me so curiously and I forgot everything else. You took me to your house and you were so sweet, so—”

She kisses Lexa, drawing her face close with both her hands to shut her up, to stop her from saying all these things that Clarke wants to hear desperately but wouldn’t know how to respond to. She kisses her furiously until they run out of breath and Lexa blinks slowly, looking at her in disbelief at her passionate outbreak when they part.

“You do belong,” Clarke whispers. With me. “And I will forever be grateful to the universe, for the coincidence that brought you into my bar.”

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: The 100 (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa Characters: Clarke Griffin, Lexa (The 100), Madi (The 100), Octavia Blake Additional Tags: Barkeeper Clarke, Architect Lexa, Single Mom Clarke, Modern Setting Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Blossoming relationship Series: Part 3 of Precious Summary:

Ramasuri (Austrian): Chaos. An unstable time or period, usually marked by intense difficulty or danger.

Part 3 of Precious (series)

Chapter 1

“I want to kiss you so bad.”

Lexa whispers the words into the silence, very unexpectedly, and Clarke blinks. She was just thinking about having to end the call to get Madi into her own bed somehow. Madi, her daughter, asleep in her lap at the moment. The daughter that hijacked yet another cherished call tonight, like many before. As soon as she realized Clarke wasn’t talking to herself, alone in her room at night, she insisted on joining in. Taking over more like.

Tonight is no different. Clarke usually takes Madi to her mom’s on her way to work but it’s her night off and she was looking forward to a video chat with Lexa, the one they hadn’t gotten around to yet this week. But then Madi just didn’t stop, babbling away happily and all Clarke and Lexa could do was smile and play along. Tired from the adventures of the day, Madi eventually dozed off in Clarke’s arms. She pries the phone from Madi’s hands and props it up on the little table by her bed, then, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Madi’s head, she gently releases her off to the side.

“Alright, now I have my child asleep next to me.” Not what she had wanted for the night.

“Just let her sleep,” Lexa says quietly. “If you wake her now, she’ll get cranky.”

“Probably. I’m sorry, this wasn't quite the way I planned it.”

Lexa looks comfortable enough, lounging in what looks like a recliner, tall windows behind her showing off the view of a beautiful sunset two hours away in Polis. It bathes Lexa in a golden light that renders her smile almost angelic.

“There was just one more thing I wanted to show you, now that Madi isn’t listening,” she tells Clarke in a sultry voice and smiles her quiet smile, although there’s an intensity to her gaze that’s making Clarke hot, even through the small screen of her cell phone. Clarke watches her lean back even further in her recliner.

“Be very quiet.”

“Lexa, what are you—?”

Instead of an answer, Lexa places a finger on her lips, and Clarke clamps her mouth shut. Whatever it is, she wants to see it.

“I still want to kiss you. Bad.”

Update chapter 11

“Gran said I won’t have to go to school today,” she says. “But she didn’t say why.”

“Because we’re going to have a big breakfast,” Clarke starts, shooting a cautious look at Lexa, who is still standing at the foot end. “And then I want to talk to you.”

Madi freezes and Clarke can tell there are a million thoughts running through her daughter’s head. 

“Did I do anything?”

“Oh, no, honey.” Clarke pulls her closer again and presses a kiss to her head. “You did nothing wrong. Someone else did and I’m going to talk to you about that.”

“Okay,” Madi says, giving Clarke a wary look.

“You wanna go play until breakfast is ready? I think Lexa said something about pancakes.”

“Oh!” Her face lights up and she looks at Lexa. “Are we going to have pancakes?”

“I think I saw some running along the hallway just a minute ago,” Lexa says, putting on her most serious face. “Came from your room. Probably escaped from your book.”

“What? Nooo…” Madi flutters in Clarke’s arms and she lets go, watching her roll off the bed and start towards the door. Then she stops and turns, arms folded, eyeballing Lexa seriously.

“Pancakes can’t run,” she says, slowly shaking her head at Lexa as if she can’t believe such ignorance. “And the ones in the book aren’t real.”

“You think so?”

Madi nods confidently. 

“Hm,” Lexa says, deflating visibly but she lifts an impressed eyebrow. “So I guess I was making that up, huh? You got me.”

“That’s okay,” Madi replies, her tone generous. “You could have just said you want to be alone with my mom.”

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Islands in the Stream

Update chapter 10

With a deep sigh, she stuffs her bag under the counter. Lexa smiles at her from the other side of the counter as she gets comfortable on her usual bar stool. She’d insisted, again, to be here tonight. Clarke doesn’t know if it’s because Lexa didn’t want to be alone or if she didn’t want Clarke to be on her own. It doesn’t matter though, since the feeling seems to be mutual either way. Lexa waves at Lincoln, whose face lights up with a wide grin at her sight and he waves back - which leaves both Clarke and Octavia gaping.

“Is she hitting on my boyfriend?” Octavia mutters, pulling Clarke aside.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Clarke laughs. “And he’s not your boyfriend.”

“Not yet.” Octavia looks over her shoulder, clutching at her heart. “He has such a pretty smile.”

Clarke groans and turns away to grab a bottle of beer from a fridge. Lexa grins when she puts it down in front of her.

“Here. For my hero.”

“Don’t call me that,” Lexa says humbly, folding her hands around the bottle. “You’re a hero too.”

Having Lexa there is something Clarke could totally get used to. She doesn't even mind seeing Octavia chat with Lincoln every time Clarke looks for her. She only has eyes for Lexa and Lexa, ignoring her beer until it goes stale, hardly takes her eyes off Clarke. It gives her such a fuzzy, warm feeling that she overpours half the drinks she serves. It doesn't matter. As long as Lexa keeps sitting there, loving her like this.

But a couple of hours in, Lexa is suddenly gone. She was right there when Clarke looked last but then she got busy with a bachelorette party that came swarming in and didn’t pay attention. Octavia has disappeared as well and Lincoln only shrugs when Clarke asks him where she is. They’re going to have a talk about leaving her alone at the busiest times.

Keeping an eye on the door to the restrooms to see if that’s where Lexa went, Clarke fills the next minutes with more pouring and wiping, until she sees Octavia come back in from the storeroom, Lexa in tow.

“Your girlfriend really is awesome,” Octavia chirps as she walks past into Lincoln’s corner with a few bottles of juice that she puts in the fridge.

Clarke waits for Lexa to sit back down, then leans over the counter.

“So, uh, you just spent some time in the storeroom with Octavia?”

“Yup,” Lexa replies and winks.

“Do I need to get jealous?”

“No. I was just keeping a promise,” Lexa whispers mysteriously. “You’ll see.”

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Update chapter 9

Abby takes the news with all the reservedness of someone who never thought good of Finn. They’re sitting in her kitchen, Clarke, Lexa, and Abby, all looking down at their hands holding coffee cups, contemplating the impact after Lexa finishes talking.

“Are you one hundred percent sure it’s him, Lexa? Because if you’re wrong, you’ll destroy the man’s life.”

Lexa chews on her bottom lip. Her hands tremble a little, and she grips the cup tighter, dropping her other hand into her lap.

“Yes, I am sure.”

“It all fits, Mom,” Clarke confirms, speaking softly as she reaches for Lexa’s hand. As soon as her fingers close around it, the trembling stops. “The timing, the car, that he replaced the Mustang afterward, how he seemed to lay low. He never went back to Polis. I don’t think he’s been back in the past three years.”

Abby nods slowly, “Yeah.”

Madi is outside playing with Sarah. They came here after school, hoping to find time for this. Clarke watches her daughter for a while, watching her laugh and play, carefree and safe. She still doesn’t have a good plan for their talk, but maybe she doesn’t need to detail it all out beforehand. She hates having to do it. A little heart like hers should not have to deal with something like this. It will put a stain on Madi’s soul no matter what. She hates Finn too, for being the cause of it.