#rakuli

When I started sharing my poetry on Tumblr roughly six years ago, I didn't intend to make any friends here, or really even to like, talk to strangers in any way. I'm not even sure I knew you could, really. (In the dark days before Tumblr messaging, it was complicated.) But eventually I started learning the ways of the Tumblr and connecting with people, and that was cool.

Here’s what’s even cooler: Three of the first people I followed, the first people to whom I started talking, became fast friends of mine. As days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years (six of ‘em!), we continued to share our writing and our lives with each other. Not all together, understand––these guys aren’t friends with each other, for reasons I’m not qualified to elucidate––but me, with each of them. They are each, in their own way, my soul mate. Each holding and reflecting a piece of me, reflecting the diversity that flows within my self.

We’ve shared secrets, frustrations, crushes, cravings. Wins and losses. Nostalgic fondness. Love. Regrets. Victory. Heartbreak. We’ve done everything you might do with any other friend, except that I’ve never met any of them in person.

And we’ve done this for six fucking years. Years, man. And at any point, if any of these guys was like “Jen, I need you here now,” I’d be on a fucking plane. I would give any of them the proverbial shirt off my back, in a heartbeat. 

Don’t mind me as I count the days until the weekend comes My mind is floating far away before my work is done Excuse me as I just need five to fly in the cloudless, star-filled sky I fell into

Don’t wake me if I fall asleep in the pouring rain My mind is likely high above the clouds again My hands will warm, my clothes will dry, but I — Just need five to fly

When it’s dark outside There’s always light up here Over the rainbow Over the storm clouds and the fear

On a moonless night I want to fly up here It’s hard to feel lonely With all the stars so near

[chorus]

There’s five oceans in our little world One, two, three and five forms the start of a curl Five ways  we can sense our lives Drift and swirl

I’m not asking for a lifetime A handful of moments for now I want to get those five and fly somehow

[verse2]

Don’t mind if I count the petals on a wild rose My mind is floating high above the ground below Excuse me as I just need five to fly in the golden sunrise sky I fell into

Don’t wake me if I fall asleep in the freezing cold My mind is taking time up in the sea of gold My hands will warm, my body will survive — But I just need five to fly

I reach for the sky I just want to fly from here Away from the storm clouds Toward the rainbows that have appeared

On a golden sunrise I want to fly up here I’ve never been lonely Keeping the sun so near

There’s not appeal to this solid ground If you want my heart the sky’s where it’s found I’m counting my virtues, dividing my time

My Tumblr Crushes:

amusealex

cornelisrage

middleofthenightdaydreams

republicofthebees

rakuli

mikefrawley

maxmundan

lzlabseesu

Luke: So it's basically a long way of saying we're on the same page.

Jen: Did you expect any less from me?

Luke: Definitely not less, no

Jen: You're the Batman of friends

Jen: Not the friend I need, but the friend I deserve.

Luke: Take that how you will

Jen: Not sure whether to agree or say fuck you

Luke: I could say the same thing

Jen: So it's basically a long way of saying we're on the same page.