#r rambles

i've felt conflicted about being part of the marauders fandom since i joined & started posting fics last year. there is unfortunately no way to avoid the harm that jk rowling causes, or to ignore where her money goes, and i do believe that engaging with and posting fan content does contribute to that, even without financially supporting the franchise.

the reason this fandom appealed to me in the first place was the prospect of reclaiming at least a tiny piece of the joy that harry potter brought me when i was young, and i think i can confidently say i managed to do that.

honestly, this space has been a lifeline for me over the past year. it brought me friendship, creativity, and comfort when i haven't been able to stand existing in my own body (there's something that feels particularly ironic about having a gender crisis while spending your free time writing remus lupin).

i won't lie - i've loved writing my own little versions of the marauders. i'm so proud of the stories i've told, and have so much love for the people in this community who continue to create and uplift queer and trans people & art. no amount of bigotry can take that joy away.

while i won't be deleting the fics i've already uploaded (again, i feel conflicted about this), i just don't feel comfortable continuing to write these characters. it has become especially disheartening to see people with “fuck jkr" in their bios actively buying merch, visiting parks, and saying they'll be watching the new series in a marauders way .... fuck that.

i'm also just tired of my writing, the thing i'm most passionate about in the world, being associated with jk rowling. i hate having to think about her this much.

i'll still be around on here and writing the queer, trans stories i want to write, dabbling in other fandoms and (finally) focusing on original fiction, which no doubt will involve more gay and miserable men! wahoo!

it's really been so much fun. thank you for being so lovely about my work.