Nov 13, 2024
what is it about queerness that scares other people so much?
(alt ver. under the cut)
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what is it about queerness that scares other people so much?
(alt ver. under the cut)
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okay but calling it "heartbreak" is such a stupid term
what if they still wanna be friends
and even if they want to never see you again,
how the fuck does this "bReAk YoUr HeArT" but losing a friend is so often just "eh"
either every loss of relationship is heartbreak, or FUCKING NONE OF THEM ARE YOU STUPID ROTFACED ASS-EATING BASTARDS
normally i would apologize. but i'm not going to this time. amatonormativity makes me want to fucking scream
I hate how the media uses lesbians as a show for men. Lesbians are the most disconnected from males when it comes to a romantic partner. Lesbians are not there for the entertainment of straight men. Why is that not clear to men?! We don’t want you! We don’t want you to fetishise us either! We are real and our wants are real! We don’t do anything in our lives to please you so stay out of ours!
im full on angst and feel robbed of a queer teenhood, as from age 12 i was dating deeply pained men who convinced me i was somebody i was not. at least two of them weren't even men, just even more confused and wounded women, which just makes me question my existence even more. im just an experiment, an experience, the mat to your open door, the door i have forever been barred from.
Queer people deserve to feel safe, truly, fully safe. That can’t happen in a world where straightness is unquestioned, always accepted, and constantly upheld as the default or ideal. As long as that’s the norm, safety will never be something queer people can count on.
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it’s happening. i’m getting top surgery in about two months. i genuinely can’t conceptualize this. i’ve wanted it for a decade and now that it’s happening i can’t believe it’s real. and i’m so happy and so excited but tonight i find myself unable to sleep, unable to stop crying, and unable to spot spiraling. the spiral doesn’t have anything to do with having surgery. at least not in a literal sense. i have wanted it. i do want it. it will improve my quality of life. but i can’t shake the feeling that this is the end of my pride. that as soon as i get my drains out, or as soon as i have my last post-op checkup, something terrible will happen. that this is when ohio will follow florida. that i will finally gain my body back and that is the exact moment my future and my rights will be taken. i cannot stop thinking how unfair it is that i am able to do this so fast, when so many cannot. when my brethren are being criminalized and denied any medical care. when my siblings are being killed and barred from the public. when we are in the middle of a genocide. it feels so wrong to celebrate my transition and my transness. it feels like my pride is slipping. like i have no more room for pride. like i have to push it down and make room for the rage again. i didn’t think i would be alive this long and now that i am and i’m finally getting the medication and the surgery that i’ve desperately needed for over half my life, my future is fragile and at risk of being stolen. yes i am proud of my queerness. of my transness. but it feels like that pride is dangerous again. it feels like… as happy as i am that i am getting top surgery, it signals the day when i have to go stealth. when i have to start hiding again. when i can either put away my pride or be at even more risk. i am so fucking angry. this is a wrath that i cannot articulate. this should be one of the happiest days of my life and instead i am furious that i have to be afraid. that any of us have to be afraid.
hey byler babes (that’s ur name now, that or byler besties) i’ve been having a really rough day and it is actually related to byler.
so i got into a conversation with a queer friend of mine about byler endgame. keep in mind we both agreed to respect each other’s opinions and in 2024 if we’re wrong we’ll admit it so i don’t want to hear any hate to them.
they agreed mileven isn’t a good ship romantically. they agreed el is going to have her independent girlboss arc. after i explained some stuff to them they agreed the show doesn’t seem to be setting mike and el up for an endgame ship.
but. they don’t believe in byler endgame. i explained some proof to them, went on a little rant as i do, being a byler truther. they wholeheartedly agree it should happen, they just don’t believe it will. i told them about will being confirmed gay, and they were really happy. i explained how if the duffers don’t go through with this, they’ve made a show about a gay kid getting kidnapped, possessed, starved, nearly killed multiple times, ignored by his friends, and then rejected by the love of his life, as well as many other traumas. they said they think he’s going to have to find happiness in his friends and family after mike’s inevitable rejection, because they don’t see mike as anything but straight.
we talked about queerbait, and how it most often doesn’t have any confirmed queer characters, so byler is by definition different. we talked about how stranger things is for the outcasts, the losers, the weird kids. we talked about how they’re doing a great job of representation with robin, and how there will probably be a robin and vickie romance in season 5. but they still don’t believe. not in byler. in the duffer brothers to make it happen.
which, just makes me really, really sad and angry. how fucked up is it that our entire lives we have learned that people like us just don’t exist in media? that we can’t have mainstream tv and movies with good queer representation? that when we get representation, an entire population of people screams hate at us for wanting that and getting it? that countries remove scenes or ban media entirely because we finally got to see someone who loves the same people we do, who feels the same way we do, who experiences life as a queer person and is happy? cause we’ve learned to expect queerbait, at this point. we’ve learned that queer characters just don’t get happy endings.
so, yeah, sorry for all the negativity. i’m just feeling really queer tired right now.
tl;dr: if you have any happy byler shit on your mind, please send it to me, i could use it rn :’)
Trans people don’t have to be nice to earn respect
After watching our siblings be murdered, harassed and tormented we have deserved our rage and bitterness, it’s time for you to walk on eggshells around us