you make me feel shy and kinda giddy.

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you make me feel shy and kinda giddy.

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That boy hardly needed a mask when his naked face was already impenetrable.
Lionel Shriver; We Need To Talk About Kevin.

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audrey the wendy-lady ✎ journal 002.
I saw Audrey.
And... Seeing her reminded me of how different my life could be. If it weren't for her, everything would be different.
I would be different.
Unintentionally, I think I have been selfish with the memory I held of her. She was so important to me that I didn't want to share my recollections with anyone else - I kept them close to me.
But now that she's here, the words seem to be spilling out of me.
Audrey showed me that I shouldn't be afraid of other people or my words. That I could love everyone, that I could love the way mere sounds help us communicate. Without her encouragement and friendship, I never would've appreciated people the way I do now. Instead, I would've been much too scared to talk to anyone who isn't family. I never would've dreamed of being brave and becoming an actor.
Some of my fondest memories from early childhood are with her. I remember watching Peter Pan with her very often - probably hundreds of times - exclaiming that I would be Peter, the boy who never grew up. In turn, I nicknamed her 'Wendy-Lady,' and I loved seeing her smile because of the endearment.
The irony of it all, though, was that I didn't understand the meaning that nickname carried. Wendy opened Peter's eyes, and she gently nudged him into a more complete understanding of life. Peter, in the end, chose to be stubborn and close-minded, but I hope that's not what I'm doing.
I hope that I am making the right decisions and showing others kindness and friendship like she did to me. I hope that I have become a better man than the one I could've been.