#books.

NICHOLASSSSSSSS

i got you !! i’m going to be lazy and copy paste the response i gave in the comments hehe :D let me know if you want any more description or explanations but!! walk with me:

1. these violent delights by micah nemerever. okay. i first read this back in september of 2021 and not a SINGLE—and i mean not a SINGLE—day has gone by where i don’t think about this book, where i don’t think and agonize over paul and julian. i made a playlist the second i finished the book and i just. it still makes my heart hurt. i went into it completely blind and i think it’s read best that way… but we follow 2 boys who meet in college and God. it’s got shame and projection and loneliness and the terrifying intimacy of being deeply seen by someone and loving them so wholeheartedly and being destroyed by them at the very same time. about the lengths you will go to keep someone and try to make them happy. very, very beautifully written and just like. Damn. DAMN!!!

2. vicious & vengeful by V.E. schwab!! and there’s a third and final installment coming out this october EEEEEEE!!!!!! these are quite different in terms of plot and what actually occurs, but at its core you’ve also got two boys—eli and victor—who are fucking codependent and mirrored identities of each other and it’s toxic and obsessive and !!! ughhh. again: whether loving someone and destroying someone can become the same impulse. whether two people can be so fundamentally matched that the only possible ending is ruin.

3. and the third is one i haven’t read yet but it’s been on my TBR for a while!! it’s called young mungo by douglas stuart. it’s set in glasgow so IMMEDIATE WIN!! and from what i know, it seems very spiritually aligned with half man thematically—two boys, masculinity, violence, tenderness, repression, survival. very much like. what does it cost to remain soft in a world that punishes softness?

yesss i love reading

"but they're cheaper, i can't afford expensive book stores like barnes and noble."

secondly, we shouldn't do barnes and noble either.

"okay but if i do have a local bookstore, the books are just as expensive."

that's not always the case. i'm fortunate enough to live within 15 minute driving distance from at least three used bookstores. even if that's not the case for you, there are libraries!! they are most often completely free, well stocked, and have an abundance of additional resources other than books (including audiobooks and ebooks depending on what apps your local library works with).

"well what if my nearest library is really far, or if i couldn't get a library card for some reason?"

thriftbooks. there are many other second-hand online booksellers but i personally only have experience with thriftbooks. and i've never had a bad experience with them.

"okay but what if i'm broke, can't get to a library and can't open a library card?"