Another Pride Month that I couldn't really celebrate has come to an end.
I'm not even talking about participating or seeing a parade in any country myself, which is understandably difficult or almost impossible.
But QL series or queer communities and stories have been my discovery and quiet comfort online for so long, and yet - it's been another year when I feel loneliness.
I cannot proudly draw an ace protagonist of a BL - because they don't exist. No one explicitly stated, with a meaningfully explored storyline. Even if you go for a headcanon, the fandom will take them away under other flags and umbrellas.
I cannot write a fic to celebrate a genderfluid main character - huh, wait, not even a nonbinary character in sight. Maybe I could find a side character if I'm lucky, but they also aren't made to be treated seriously in QLs.
I can count on one hand relationships that were portrayed in a way that I could fully emphasize with - and even then, they often had some ick. I could live with imperfect ones, maybe, after all, they weren't made for me as a target audience.
I also don't want to dig into rare fandoms and find crumbs for away from my interests, I want to enjoy stories from "inclusive" productions, full of queer stories of various settings and quality. But I can't see myself in any of these dozens of stories released every year.
I know I should make something on my own if I'm picky, but it requires a lot of effort, and all my attempts to write an original story never satisfy me. Sometimes you just want to be able to enjoy stories made about someone like you, you know? Is it even being picky if you just long to fully connect with a character in media?
Sorry for the rant.
Happy Pride Month, everyone. One day in the next years, I hope I'll be able to celebrate it from my entire heart with you all.
