Protector of Teyvat (a troll hell-bent on reviving everyone just for fun) Pâ3
Isekaiâd reader who is hell-bent on reviving everyone using your cheat code as the protector of Teyvat. With great power comes great benefits! Teyvat population stonks
Note: asmoday is the unknown god, reader also grants gnosis and visions, isekai, slight sagau in the future chapters, op reader
Summary: You are just a regular human being living your best life on Earth, collecting husbandos and waifus in Genshin Impact when all of a sudden you were isekai'd to Teyvat, but not as a traveler, a creator, or an NPC. You are a very close friend of both Celestia and the Unknown God, who is known as the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. You also hold a very important position of the highest order because unbeknownst to the general populace, you are the Protector of Teyvat from the outside forces.Â
And so imagine the Archon's faces when their dead friends suddenly came back to life just so they can accompany you together with Aether and Paimon on a journey to spit on the Celestia's face
Timeline in Teyvat when you got transmigrated: Before any wars happened. Zhongli is probably sucking on a dragon pacifier or something if that even exists.
Warning: curse words, slight ooc, lore flying over the ocean and going for a swim, author removed the lore from the irminsul so act like you know nothing of it, i'm putting the lore in the cheese grater
âAs what I am trying to say, Lady Y/N⌠is quite⌠a peculiar person.â
Jean sighed and scratched her temples, beginning to feel stressed. "Stop going in circles and get to the point, Kaeya."
About half an hour has passed since Kaeya first started talking, and it does not seem like he is going to get straight to the point any time soon.
Paimon flew closer to you, who was visibly bored as you sat on a chair, whispering into your ears.
âPaimon thinks you broke him...â
You folded your arms and looked at the man who had been struggling to explain for about ten minutes with a quiet chuckle. His eyes met yours, and he instantly averted his gaze, an embarrassed expression on his face.
And even Lisa, who is standing next to Jean, has been staring at you for quite some time. Her gaze was strong despite the pleasant smile on her face.
âYou flatter me, Captain Kaeya.â
Jean arched an eyebrow at you, seemingly perplexed.
âAfter all, I am just a normal human being trying to make a living.â
She blinked, trying to process everything that is going on. If you're only something like a traveling merchant, why is Kaeya acting as if he's forced to sing praises about you?
The entire room fell silent, and all eyes were fixed on you.
With a straight face, you answered calmly, "I sell visions and use fried eggs to resurrect the dead.â
The room fell into an awkward silence as Kaeya coughed so loudly that he flopped down on the ground and decided to become one with the floor.
"This is quite a change of events," Lisa said with a beautiful frown as she glanced at Kaeya, who was suffering in silence.
Jean shook her head in utter confusion as she pointed at Kaeya, "Just why is he acting like this...?"
âOh!â Paimon exclaimed in realization of Jean's question. She rubbed the side of her head then stroke her chin, as if she didn't know how to explain everything.
âUhmâ uh⌠Paimon's not sure who this Crepus guy is, but when Y/N threw a fried egg somewhere, he poof out of the ground and insisted on going to his son instead of joining us to meet you here.â
"He even wanted Kaeya to come along, but this man had already left before we realized it!" Paimon yelled and pointed towards Kaeya.
Jean raised a brow in confusion, and Paimon spoke once again, "Itâs not Paimonâs fault, I swear! He suddenly appeared, and Kaeya looked like he had seen a ghost... Paimon is guessing that he is someone important that Y/N randomly brought back to life to scold Kaeya for touching her."
Lisa turned to stare at Jean, her eyes wide with confusion.
âIf I know⌠Crepus is Master Dilucâs father.â
Lisa gasped, and Kaeya seemed to be dead with his face plastered to the ground.
âOh?â You shrugged your shoulders, glancing out the window, unconcerned with what was going on around you.
Jean sighed, obviously disturbed. "How is this even possible? I'm sure even the archons can'tâ"
âLady Y/N is not an archonâŚâ
âIâm afraid I donât quite follow, Kaeya.âÂ
âLady Y/N is someone who is much higher than the archonsâŚâ
Lisa appeared to be captivated with the new knowledge and immediately turned to gaze at you with amazement. You, on the other hand, paid no attention to her and continued to stare out the window absentmindedly.
Will Timmie make a great archon?
What if I give Timmie a Pyro Vision to roast his pigeons?
If I revive little floatieâs friend, will I have two little Venti?
But what if little floatie's friend starts to feel embarrassed when he sees the huge statue that looks like him standing in the middle of Mondstadt?
If I slap Dain with a fried egg to remove the curse, will he get mad? Iâm pretty sure Iâd lose my arm before my hand can even come closeâŚ
âSomeone⌠higher than the archons?â Jean mumbled to herself.
Paimon huffed, placing her hands on her hips and said confidently, "She is the Protector after all!"
Lisa's eyes twinkled with delight and respect at the new revelation. Back in Akademiya, she unintentionally read a forbidden book about Teyvat's Protector. It was believed to have been authored by the first Dendro Archon, but the book has since been lost or stolen.
There are no other records of you save for that single book, which she is keeping so discreetly that she even went to Mondstadt to keep it safe, despite the fact that the book has reduced her lifespan in half. But unexpectedly, the book mysteriously vanished.
It was recorded that the God of Wisdom has only encountered you once, when they had ascended one of the seven seats, and there were no more chances of meeting you again because you've been protecting Teyvat in the shadows. You've been keeping Teyvat so safe that you have no time to even mingle with them.
"However, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Celestia is trying to keep her highness away from the seven archons, particularly the Anemo Archon,â â Â this was one of the numerous lines written by the God of Wisdom that Lisa will never forget having to read.
It was only a one-time meeting, but it was described that all the archons were overjoyed to catch a glimpse of you. There must not be any records preserved or knowledge of you because doing so will provoke the heavenly principles. It's most likely that this is the reason why Sumeru was dealt such a devastating blow back then. And with such a wealth of information, Lisa is left wondering why she is still alive.
And now that the two of you even have the chance to meet, she considers herself to be one of the fortunate people in Teyvat to have the opportunity to speak with you face to face.Â
Jean cast a quick glance in the direction of the librarian, who has all of a sudden adopted a new attitude towards you. Now that she's thinking about it, she's curious to find out what information the librarian has about you.
"...before we came to the headquarters, there were at least three or four citizens who had been granted with a vision.â Kaeya shuddered.
âKaeyaâs speaking the truth! Even Paimon has lost count already! At this point, the entire Mondstadt could be dubbed as the nation of vision holders!â
Paimon's voice jolted you out of your daze, prompting you to respond, "...I thought we'd keep that a secret."
âOhâ right! Paimonâs sorry!â
You laughed, softly waiving your hands as a sign that everything was fine. You looked at Jean, who was suddenly staring at you with such reverence that she seemed to want to grovel before you.
You smiled at her. âAnyways, are we done here?â
"Ah, yes," Jean said awkwardly, looking over at Aether, who was staring at you attentively, "About the storm terror attack."
"Y/N and the Anemo Archon supported me," Aether said with a blank expression and a shrug of his shoulders.
âOh goodness⌠youâre traveling with the protector and even met the Anemo Archon?â Lisa asked, her mouth slightly wide in surprise.
âAnemo Archon, Anemo Archon, ahâ my little floatie is just so adorable. Maybe I should travel the worlds with him after resigningâŚâ You muttered to yourself.
Aether and the other people in the room have all of a sudden become alerted, and their attention is focused on you. Even Kaeya suddenly straightened his posture, only to see you staring peacefully outside the windows.
After resigning!? Travel alone with the Anemo Archon!? Jealous, jealous, jealousâ
The voices of Celestia and Asmoday can be heard wailing somewhere in the distance in the sky. They are most likely devising a plot to put you behind bars at this very moment.
It shouldn't come as a surprise if the Anemo Archon suddenly have a club of haters.
You started humming a tune as you became aware of the peaceful atmosphere that was beginning to arise.
You snorted and mockingly said, "Oh? What exactly am I seeing? We've barely known each other for a day, and you're already obsessed with me?"
They all choked in embarrassment, turning away to hide their flushed cheeks.
You cocked your head to the side, amused, as they all began babbling silly reasons just to cover themselves up.
âWâwell, itâs not everyday that you get to meet someone likeâ likeââ
âPaimon thinks Y/N feels comfy to be around! Paimonâs not obsessed at all!â
Aether quickly agreed with a nod.
âRight, right, alright. If you people are still interested in discussing the stormterror attack, then I'll just leave you to it,â You gave them a soft smile as you floated right up from your seat and waved your hand before making the decision to vanish with a poof in order to bestow even more visions and cause more chaos.
"Don't look for me, I'm going to meet someone,"Â They heard your voice echoing inside their thoughts, and it made them feel even greater animosity towards the person you are talking about.
âWe donât even want to talk about stormterror attack anymore!â
"âŚsigh. I wanted to listen more of her voice," Lisa grumbled, and Jean feels the same.
âShe mustâve felt uncomfortable, she doesnât want people talking about her after all.â Aether clicked his tongue in displeasure before running out the room with Paimon to find you.
"Just how am I going to explain everything to Diluc?" Kaeya chuckled bitterly as he slumped tiredly in the chair.
Thank the Gods you got away before they could get their paws on you. But it doesn't mean they won't pursue you.
âWoah! The birds are flocking to you!" Timmie talked happily, obviously amazed as he watched you almost completely covered in birds as you leaned on the parapet to watch the water race by.
"They're rather... heavy." You whispered, attempting to remain still while the birds that usually flew away at the sight of people treated you like a tree.
"Oh yeah! You're like God!"
You gave him a small grin as you looked down at him. "What makes you think that?"
âWell, I've heard stories about Lord Barbatos being so close to birds that he'd even fly alongside them! You're exactly like him!â
The birds chirped happily, rubbing their heads against your cheek as if they wanted to be complimented.
You snorted, trying to image Barbatos flying alongside the birds. You could say that your mind created a pretty humorous image.
Venti sat on top of the statue of the Anemo Archon, blushing profusely at what the wind had relayed to him. He's too sober enough to listen to your conversation, and he wishes he'd gone straight to the tavern to get drunk instead of stalking you.
But he wouldn't pass up an opportunity to see you.
"You seem to love pigeons a lot; do you wish to fly with them as well?"
âYeah⌠I believe it would be cool, and maybe I'll be able to find daddy..."
You agreed with a little nod, calmly watching the river flow gently while Timmie stares in awe at how the sun rays were focused towards you, creating a lovely scene.
"Who knows, maybe you'll be reunited with your father soon," You spoke while remaining motionless in your position and gazing at the rushing river.
Timmie nodded, little relieved by your remarks. He has always waited, and he will never get tired of waiting.
You ignored Timmie as you cast a glance at the gates, sensing that at least four or five individuals were approaching you.
"I'm afraid our little bonding has to come to an end here."
Timmie pouted and mumbled cutely, "But me and my pigeons like you."
You amusedly ruffled his hair as you giggled at his antics.
"How about you come to me when you're lonely?" You smiled as you took his hands in your own and placed a glowing Anemo vision in his palm.
And then maybe when someone tries to hurt your pigeons, you can airbend the shit out of their lungs.
Timmie gaped, his gaze drawn to the vision in his hands and your bright, smiling face. He began stammering, his brain attempting to absorb everything that was happening at the moment.
Oh my godâ oh my godâ was all he could think of.
âLady Y/N!â Jean and the others said in unison.
"See you soon," you said quietly, ignoring the people who were approaching you at an incredible pace, giving Timmie one last pat on the head before disappearing to slap someone with a fried egg somewhere else.
Because seriously, why is everyone so clingy to you when it comes to you? Can't a protector have a little peace in their lives?
Timmie stood motionless, a vision in his hands while his mind went haywire.
Daddy, daddy, I think I just met a God!
Before they even had a chance to finish their sentence, a fried egg came flying at them at a high rate of speed, and the runny egg yolk came splattering into their face.
You mumbled something under your breath while opening your eyes with a weary expression and blinking several times in an effort to clear the haze from your vision. They just can't seem to give you some space, even if it's just for a moment, can they not? You're literally trying to get some sleep!
The abyss mage who had just been smacked by a fried egg started to emit light as though the curse was in the process of being broken. Something shattered inside of their soul as they shed the last bit of monstrosity that had clung onto them for hundreds of years.
You found a comfortable position on the grass and leaned back against the tree. And off to the side of your vision, you can make out a woman with blond hair who is dressed in white and blue.
You fixed your attention on her, and by the expression on her face, you could see how genuinely surprised she was by what she had witnessed. Her eyes gleamed with much interest and reverence as they locked onto yours.
You immediately felt an inside sigh of frustration when you realize that youâre going to have another traveler who will try to cling onto you.
Lumine suddenly stepped up, and her voice is just as endearing as that of her twin brother.Â
"It is an honor to meet our savior," she said. It was a display of respect, but you are too sharp to even believe those words. You are their savior, but that does not imply that they are obligated to treat you with the utmost respect.
You responded with a faint hum as you quickly pulled an abyss mage close to you to use as a pillow, unaware to the jealous stares that Lumine was giving you.Â
âAre you here to meet with your twin?â
âI am not⌠ready to face him,â Lumine whispered softly while her face distorted into an agonized expression, as if she were thinking back on the times she spent with her twin brother.
"Help him with Dvalin," you said, your cheek resting on the back of your hand. You almost laughed when you saw her slightly frown at you. They were the ones that made Dvalin act like that, thus they should be the ones to clean up their mess.
"I'm posing as your twin's guide right now, and if this storm terror problem isn't fixed by the end of the week, how am I meant to leave Mondstadt to search for and save the people of your nation?"
"I absolutely want to retire, sigh..." you mumbled, squeezing the abyss mage's cheeks in frustration.
"I suppose you have a point," Lumine answered, nodding her head in understanding. Maybe she can even take a break and check how her twin brother is doing in this world.
"Wonderful, you finally understand!" You replied enthusiastically, and your smile is so dazzling that Lumine feels like she's staring directly into the sun.
"Then, after cleaning up the mess that Celestia made, the two of you can leave Teyvat and continue on your journey."
âPerhaps after you've completed your journey in this world, I can go get some wine, retire, eh... maybe mingle with the humans and spend time with Venti, and...â You started rambling, not noticing how Lumine's face darkened at your words, suggesting that they should leave this world and continue their journey in another.
And Venti? That Barbatos? Lumine fumed whilst you are clueless that your little floatie had earned another hater.
And what if she refuses to leave? What if she desires to know more about you? What if Aether and her decide to bring you along with them on their journey across the worlds?
Far above in the clouds, the Celestia added another name to one of their most hated lists.
You coughed and paused, embarrassed to disclose your life plans after retiring. Lumine, on the other hand, appears to be listening attentively, as though unconcerned with the fact that you're essentially begging them to leave.
Sighing heavily, you decided to put your plan of slapping them with a fried egg in the back of your mind and work on properly removing their curse.
Lumine kept an eye on you, observing how sincere you've become in your treatment of her allies. As your look became more serious, your hand smoothly glided to touch them without even a trace of revulsion.
Perhaps the unknown God isnât going to be the one who will trap them in this world this time. Maybe you will be the new reason, and she will willingly stay just to uncover your mystery.
Aether, my twin brother, how about we postpone our journey for a while? Surely you felt the same way when you first met her?
sumimasorry for the late update, I was busy crying over my artifact substat and made a kazuscara ff instead
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well anyways, after this I'm going to hide, make fried eggs, and do my forgotten comms
