hi yes hello, it’s me again, crawling out of the void with yet another “what if god but messy” fic. ✨ this is basically a SAGAU crack epic where i, the Player™️, descend into teyvat, slap the respawn button on everyone, and turn canon into a giant uno reverse card. consider it my self-indulgent new game+ therapy session.

things you can expect:

me openly bullying celestia bc they deserve it.

reviving dead characters like i’m oprah handing out free cars (“YOU get a resurrection, YOU get a resurrection—”)

zhongli’s 5,000 years of emotional repression finally snapping like a glowstick.

tumblr-chaos narration because i literally cannot take myself seriously.

lore accuracy? i don’t know her.

this fic is like 60% angst, 40% shitpost, and 100% me refusing to let hoyoverse hurt my blorbos. enjoy. 🫶

So. Picture this: You, the humble Player™. Sitting in your room, bored out of your skull, staring at the Genshin loading screen for the 999th time.

But this time, instead of loading into Mondstadt to go beat up hilichurls for daily commissions like usual, you suddenly feel yourself falling.

Like—straight up Alice in Wonderland, but with worse gravity settings.

You hit the ground in Teyvat. Alive. Breathing. Very much not behind a screen anymore.

And everyone is staring at you.

The Archons? Panicking. The Adepti? Ready to bow. Celestia? Glitching in the background like a bugged skybox.

Meanwhile you? You dust your hands off and announce, with the gravitas of someone who just ragequit a bad gacha pull:

“Alright, patch notes time. New save file. No dead people allowed. Canon’s canceled. I’m God now, hi.”

The silence is deafening. Venti’s jaw drops. Zhongli freezes mid-step. Ei blinks like someone just unplugged her whole brain.

You clap your hands together. “Okay, first order of business: Liyue. Let’s fix Morax’s tragic backstory speedrun, shall we?”

And without further ado, you teleport.

Liyue Arc: Guizhong.exe Has Logged Back In

The air in Guili Plains tastes like nostalgia and regret. Zhongli stands stiffly at your side, staff in hand, while the Adepti hover in the distance.

“Young one,” Cloud Retainer says, voice echoing, “I do not comprehend the full extent of your—”

“Yeah, yeah, exposition later,” you interrupt. “Right now we’re doing a little thing I like to call CTRL+Z on trauma.”

And you snap your fingers.

The earth rumbles. The ruins of Guili glow. Stone blossoms unfurl, light pouring from every crack in the ground.

And then—soft footsteps. A figure in white and silver, smiling as if she’d never left.

Guizhong.

“Morax?” she whispers.

Zhongli—Zhongli—drops his idk... rock? It clatters to the stones. His knees nearly buckle. For once, the man with more composure than an iceberg looks like he’s been gutted.

“Guizhong…” His voice breaks like old porcelain. “This… this cannot be—”

“Oh, it’s real,” you say cheerfully, sipping the boba tea you conjured because why not. “Welcome back, dusty baddie.”

Guizhong tilts her head at you, bemused but gentle, before turning back to Zhongli. She lifts a hand, cups his cheek, and for the first time in millennia, he leans into her touch.

“Morax..... uh, you’ve aged so well.”

He actually laughs—half a sob, half disbelief. His golden eyes glisten.

Behind you, the Adepti are losing it. Moon Carver actually covers his face. Mountain Shaper mutters, “Impossible.” Cloud Retainer’s voice warbles like she’s about to sob some shit.

But you’re not done. Oh no. Because Guizhong was only part one.

You clap your hands together. “Alright, bonus DLC time: Yaksha Reunion Tour.”

Liyue Arc: The Yakshas Return

The ground shakes harder this time. Black karmic miasma that’s clung to Liyue for millennia suddenly dissolves, like smoke in the wind.

And then they step forward.

Bosacius. Bonanus. Indarias. Menogias. Tralalero Tralala.

The lost Yakshas. +1

Xiao freezes. His polearm slips from his grasp, clattering to the stone. His breath catches in his throat.

“…No.” His voice is barely a whisper. “…You’re not real.”

Bosacius laughs, loud and warm, clapping him on the shoulder so hard Xiao nearly topples. “Still short, huh?”

“Xiao!” Bonanus immediately fusses over him, grabbing his face. “You’re skin and bones! Did you stop eating again? I swear—”

Indarias ruffles his hair mercilessly. Menogias just smiles that soft, steady smile Xiao remembers from his nightmares and dreams alike.

And Xiao—stoic, silent, hardened Xiao—breaks.

He collapses to his knees, shoulders shaking, sobbing into Bosacius’s chest as his comrades swarm him in an embrace that looks like it’ll never break again.

You’re sitting cross-legged on a rock, slurping your boba, tears streaming down your face anyway.

“Yep. Worth it. This patch rules.”

The Adepti? Absolutely gone. Cloud Retainer’s voice cracks as she mutters, “The five… together again.” Moon Carver turns away, tears running down his muzzle. Even Mountain Shaper is sniffling.

Guizhong smiles, watching them all, before looking at Zhongli again. “You’ve carried so much, Morax. But you don’t have to anymore.”

And Zhongli—Zhongli, who has carried wars, nations, gods—finally allows himself to sag against her shoulder.

The Yakshas laugh and cry, Xiao buried in the arms of the only family he’s ever had.

The Adepti weep.

Zhongli trembles.

And you, God-Player Extraordinaire, raise your cup and declare:

“Ladies, gents, and enbies— Liyue’s trauma speedrun has officially been canceled. You’re welcome.”

Mondstadt Arc: The Family Reunion Special

Mondstadt greets you with wine, song, and the faint smell of someone making bad choices at the tavern. (Spoiler: it’s always Venti.)

But you didn’t come here for dandelion wine. No, you came here to fix Mondstadt’s pile of trauma corpses.

You clap your hands. “Alright, step one: bring back the Falcon baddie.”

The Anemo wind howls, feathers scatter, and out steps Vanessa—tall, radiant, carrying the aura of freedom itself.

The Knights of Favonius collectively scream.

“...Oh my Archons,” Jean gasps, hand over her heart. Amber drops her bow. Eula chokes on her own spit. Even Kaeya—smiling bastard extraordinaire—looks like someone just erased his poker face.

Vanessa tilts her head, surveying the crowd, then immediately starts barking orders. “You. Straighten your stance. You—your shield is too low. Mondstadt’s defenses are sloppy.”

The Knights fall over themselves obeying. Jean nearly faints. Amber salutes like her life depends on it.

Kaeya mutters under his breath, “Oh, she’s terrifying. I like her.”

Meanwhile, you’re cackling like a maniac. “Yes, queen, whip them into shape.”

Venti, for once, is quiet. Watching her. There’s reverence in his eyes. He bows his head, whispering, “Falcon of the West… you’ve returned.”

But you’re not done yet.

“Oh no,” you say, pulling a lyre out of thin air. “Guess who else I’m bringing back for emotional devastation.”

The wind sings. Notes flutter in the air. And then—soft footsteps. A voice, clear as spring water.

The Nameless Bard.

Venti’s head jerks up. His eyes go wide. His entire body freezes.

“...No.” His voice cracks. “No, it can’t be—”

The Bard smiles. “My friend... did you really think I’d leave you alone with the job?”

And Venti—Archon, drunk, eternal, whimsical Venti—breaks.

He rushes forward, grabbing the Bard by the shoulders, clutching him like he’ll vanish again. Tears stream down his face, his voice shaking.

“I—I watched you die. I held your lyre. I—”

“Yeah, well,” the Bard interrupts gently, resting a hand over Venti’s heart, “turns out your God’s got better respawn settings than Celestia.” He tilts his head at you. “Thanks, stranger.” sheeshfourthwallbreaking

You lift your boba in salute. “Anytime, king. Now sing him something before I start crying harder than him.”

Venti and the Bard collapse into a duet, voices twining together, laughter breaking through tears. Mondstadt gathers to listen, and for once, it feels whole.

But you’re still not done.

Because there’s a certain man with a certain winery. And a certain tragic son with daddy issues.

You clap your hands. “Alright, Ragnvindr family reunion, let’s go.”

And from the mist—Crepus Ragnvindr.

Diluc is halfway through polishing a glass at Angel’s Share when the room goes dead silent.

“...Father?” His hand trembles. The glass shatters on the counter.

Crepus steps forward, solid, real, smiling warmly. “Diluc. My boy. You’ve grown so strong.”

Diluc doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. For a long moment, he’s a statue. Then suddenly he’s across the tavern, gripping his father’s shoulders with white knuckles, staring into his face like it might dissolve.

Kaeya appears in the doorway, eyes wide. His mouth opens, then closes, then opens again.

“...Oh,” Kaeya says weakly. “This is gonna be… complicated.”

You lean back on a barstool, eating popcorn. “Family therapy speedrun, baby.”

Diluc clings to his father. Kaeya hovers awkwardly until Crepus drags him into the hug too, because he’s a dad like that.

And then, because you can’t resist:

“Hey Timmy, come here a sec.”

The kid toddles over, suspicious, still bitter about the pigeons.

“Want your dad back?” you ask casually.

The kid blinks. “...What?”

You snap your fingers.

A weathered man with kind eyes appears by the fountain. He freezes, then spots Timmy. “...Son?”

Timmy’s eyes widen. His mouth opens, closes, then he lets out a wail that rattles the whole plaza. He sprints forward, throwing himself into his father’s arms.

The entire city bursts into tears. Even Kaeya is wiping his eye.

And you? You cross your arms and announce to the skies:

“TIMMY LORE: FIXED.” “TIMMY LORE: FIXED.”

Snezhnaya Arc: Harbinger Hell

Teleporting into Zapolyarny Palace is like stepping into a cutscene you weren’t supposed to access yet.

The Fatui Harbingers are gathered. The air is colder than your ex’s texts. Pierro sits at the head of the table, looking like he hasn’t smiled since Khaenri’ah fell.

Perfect setup.

You kick open the door. “HEY BESTIES, GUESS WHO I’M BRINGING BACK.”

The Harbingers snap to attention. Weapons flare. Dottore already has three clones out. Childe looks like he’s about to throw hands.

And then she steps in.

Rosalyne-Kruzchka Lohefalter. The Crimson Witch. Signora.

The room implodes.

Childe’s jaw drops. “...Lady Rosalyne?”

Pulcinella makes a noise like a dying chicken. Sandrone actually drops her puppet. Even Dottore’s clones stutter.

Pierro… Pierro stops breathing.

Rosalyne smirks, tilting her head. “Miss me, darlings?”

Childe straight-up cries. Like ugly cries. He rushes forward, grabbing her hand, babbling something about “I thought you were gone—” before she cuts him off with a sharp ruffle of his hair.

“Pathetic,” she says affectionately.

Pierro, stone-faced, finally moves. He stands, approaches her slowly, like he’s afraid she’ll vanish. His mask tilts just enough for you to see his mouth tremble.

“Rosalyne,” he rasps.

“Pierro.” She smiles. “You still brood like an old dog.”

“...Speaking of dogs,” you say loudly, because you cannot resist. “Fetch.”

And with a snap of your fingers—Pierro’s dog materializes.

The First Harbinger—the stern, calculating, terrifying Pierro—falls to his knees. The massive, fluffy mutt barrels into him, tail wagging, licking his face.

Pierro drops his staff and clutches the dog, actually laughing—a low, broken sound. The Harbingers gape like their brains just blue-screened.

You fold your arms. “Yep. Trauma patch installed. You’re welcome.”

Signora leans back against the table, smirking at the chaos. “Well, this is going to be fun.”

Sumeru Arc: The Desert Wakes, The Bloom Returns

Enter: Chaos God Player

By now, Teyvat’s gotten used to your nonsense. Sort of. (They haven’t. Nobody has. They just pretend.) Every nation’s still reeling from the earlier “no dead people allowed” policy patch, and then suddenly you appear in Sumeru.

And when you appear, it’s not quiet. Oh no. You slam down into Aaru Village square like a Tumblr blog with 200 unread asks: loud, chaotic, and very much not prepared to be serious.

“Okay desert,” you clap your hands, “let’s see what DLC content you’re hiding. Where’s my big red pyramid man? Where’s my flower mom? Where’s—wait hold up—where’s Jett’s dad???”

Candace nearly drops her spear. Dehya stops mid-bite of kebab. Cyno is trying very hard not to do a pun because this feels like a religious experience but also extremely meme-worthy.

wasup sandy bois King Deshret.exe has logged in

When you finally revive King Deshret, it is, to be blunt, a server crash.

One minute the desert is still, dry, mournful; the next minute a colossal presence erupts like a volcano. The pyramid temples hum, golden light burns across the dunes, and then—there he is.

Not a statue. Not a ghost. Not a memory. A full-blown, very-much-alive King Deshret, standing with molten eyes that scream “hello, yes, I am your dad AND your god AND your catastrophic lore bomb, what’s up.”

And you? You’re just standing there sipping boba. “Sup. Welcome back. Don’t destroy the planet, pls. we dun hv another adult nahida version takin the sacrifice, thx."

Nahida appears via teleport like she just ragequit a Discord call and rejoined. “YOU—YOU CAN’T JUST—DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS—”

“Yeah,” you say. “Lore patch: tragedy deleted. Now go hug your 8-foot-tall sun dad, shrub.”

Nahida, who has been holding Sumeru’s trauma on her tiny shoulders for five hundred years, actually bursts into tears. Deshret kneels, scooping her up like he never vanished. The desert literally blooms at his touch, golden lotuses spreading where his footsteps fall.

Twitter (if Teyvat had it) would break.

shalalalala The Flower Goddess Returns

But you’re not done. Oh no. You scan the air dramatically. “WHERE is my Flower Wife.”

The desert suddenly smells like spring rain and dreamwine. The Flower Goddess, Nabu Malikata, steps out of what looks like a doorway carved from light itself.

She looks… impossibly gentle. A soft smile, robes trailing in petals, every inch of her whispering life, growth, kindness. When she sees Deshret alive again, the scream Nahida lets out could shatter Irminsul itself.

The three gods—Deshret, Greater Lord Rukkhadevata’s essence through Nahida, and Nabu Malikata—embrace in the desert sun. The holy trinity restored. Sumeru is bawling. Cyno, stone-faced, looks like he’s about to cry too but instead mutters, “I must remain… cactus-cool.”

You: “So basically I just dropped the Mother-Father DLC expansion. You’re welcome.”

Kaveh faints from joy and architecture stress simultaneously.

But wait, Jett’s Dad

This one hits harder. Because when you finally whisper your power into the bones of the desert and pull forth Jett’s father from the abyss, it’s not loud. It’s quiet.

The man stumbles forward in old mercenary gear, scarred and sun-baked, blinking at the light. His daughter freezes, weapon half-drawn, then drops everything to run into his arms.

The embrace is raw. Broken. Years of wandering and grief undone in an instant. Dehya has to physically walk away because it’s too much. Even Cyno mutters something about “justice being restored” while lowkey wiping his eyes.

You ruin the moment by slurping your boba dramatically. “Wholesome content unlocked. Achievement: Family Reunion.”

But deep down, you’re crying too. Cuz fuck their long ass quest.

Aftermath in Sumeru

Akademiya scholars are screaming in seventeen dialects because suddenly their “mythical” history just showed up in person.

Deshret is already planning desert infrastructure like a Minecraft dad with too much Redstone.

Malikata is teaching Nahida how to care for Irminsul like a mother hen.

Jett is clinging to her dad and refuses to let him leave her sight.

And you? You’re liveblogging it all in your divine Tumblr voice:

“Sumeru patch notes: sandy dad is back, flower mom is back, shrub baby is healing, desert trauma deleted. Also Cyno cried but don’t tell him I said that.”

Fontaine Arc: Ctrl+Z-ing Irminsul

Fontaine is already unstable (lawsuits, water levels, Furina’s everything) when you crash through like a gremlin god with too much free time.

“HELLO FOUNTAIN PEOPLE,” you announce. “Guess what? I hate memory erasure mechanics. Ctrl+Z time.”

Neuvillette tries to look composed but his tail is twitching. Furina is immediately on the floor screaming. Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet are side-eyeing you like “…are we about to get new siblings??”

And oh boy.

You reach into Irminsul’s roots like you’re dragging old Tumblr blogs out of the void, and suddenly names, faces, entire people start to exist again.

The missing siblings. The lovers forgotten. The parents wiped out by Celestia’s delete key.

People who were once “erased from history” are just walking around again, blinking like they woke up from a nap.

The city collectively loses its mind. Citizens reunite with loved ones they didn’t even know they lost. It’s a cascade of laughter and sobbing.

And you? You’re just like: “Lol canon is fake actually.”

dance kms queen for the sake of holy blood purification water Focalors.exe is BACK

Then, casually, you clap your hands. “Oh, almost forgot—Focalors, get out here.”

A familiar, radiant Hydro figure appears, eyes like stormy seas, posture full of playful dignity. The real Archon.

Furina. Screams. So loud. She clutches her wig (which is real hair, but still). “I—BUT—I—?!?!”

Neuvillette literally drops his composure for half a second. His voice rumbles like a storm: “…my Lady.”

The reunion is earth-shattering. Furina collapses into Focalors’s arms, sobbing incoherently, while Focalors comforts her with infinite patience. The people of Fontaine are shook beyond words.

You, sipping tea: “Anyway, you now have two Hydro Archons. Consider it a BOGO sale.”

Aftermath in Fontaine

The Court is a hot mess. Trials have to be re-opened, families restored, whole lineages re-acknowledged.

Furina is being force-fed soup by Focalors for the first time in centuries.

Neuvillette is crying dragon tears but trying to act like he isn’t. Spoiler: he is.

Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet are wondering if you can bring back their biological parents just because you feel like it.

And you, of course, are posting on Divine Tumblr:

“Fontaine patch notes: history un-deleted, Hydro Mom 2.0 unlocked, Furina now has parental supervision, Dragon Dad got his therapy session. You’re welcome.”

Natlan Arc: Dragons, Fire, and the Guy With Too Much Armor

You descend into Natlan like a Tumblr blogger who just found a new hyperfixation.

The people are mid-festival, fire dancing under the sun, dragons circling in the sky—and then BOOM. The sky splits open with your dramatic “✨God Has Arrived✨” entrance.

Everyone freezes. A child drops their roasted meat skewer. A dragon literally screeches and does a backflip midair.

And you? You just clap your hands and go: “ALRIGHT NATLAN. PATCH TIME. SOMEONE GO FETCH ME THAT ONE BIG ARMOR BOY. YEAH, THE EDGE-LORD ONE. CAPITANO.EXE IS GETTING UN-DELETED.”

The people of Natlan: “??????”

The Capitano Revival

Here’s the thing. Capitano isn’t supposed to be here. He’s Fatui, he’s supposed to be far away, he’s supposed to be… dead? lost? erased? Lore unclear. Doesn’t matter. You just grab him out of wherever Celestia threw him and drop him in front of Natlan’s fire pit like a DLC character reveal.

The crowd goes SILENT.

The man is huge. Impossibly huge. His armor glints like night itself. He takes one look around, realizes he’s in his homeland, and his hand trembles.

He drops to his knees in the dirt of Natlan. His voice is a rasp: “…home?”

And you’re just like, “Yep. Respawned you. Boredom patch. You’re welcome, Metal Dad.”

The chieftains and elders are losing their MINDS. Some cry. Some scream. Some bow. Because this man is a legend, and he’s here. Alive.

Capitano doesn’t even try to keep it together. The Natlan dragon-lords descend, sniff him like big cats, and accept him back.

It’s an emotional trainwreck. The nation is shaking. And you’re on the sidelines drinking Capri-Sun like: “Lore bomb dropped, who’s next.”

Aftermath: A New Teyvat

The continent is in chaos—but for once, it’s good chaos.

Families are whole.

Archons are no longer haunted by grief.

Nations celebrate, confused but happy.

Celestia is probably having a stroke.

And you? You sit on a divine throne made of Tumblr memes, sipping your drink, updating your blog:

Divine Patch Notes Final:

“Anyway,” you say aloud, smirking at the Traveler, “game cleared. No one dies on my watch. You’re welcome :)"

Every nation now worships you not just as a god, but as a Tumblr shitposter incarnate. Shrines are built with quotes like “lore deleted, deal with it” engraved on the walls.

The people pray, laugh, and live without fear of loss.

And somewhere above, Celestia looks down, watching the world they once controlled spiral into chaos. Their carefully written tragedies undone, their power shattered.

They whisper, terrified:

“What… are they?”

And somewhere in a shrine, a devout follower answers for you:

“They’re our Player. They’re our God. And they’re bored out of their mind.”

The end.

wow. that was. a lot. 💀 if you made it all the way here, congratulations————you have survived my 30k-word emotional rollercoaster disguised as a tumblr crackpost.

final thoughts:

canon is dead. i killed it and then revived it for comedy.

every character you love is alive now. you’re welcome.

did i fix genshin impact lore or did i make it 10x more unhinged? the answer is yes.

this fic doubles as a therapy substitute and a tumblr liveblog from hell.

anyway, thanks for reading, don’t forget to like, reblog, and sacrifice your daily commissions to me, your local chaos god ✨🙏✨

Isekai’d reader who is hell-bent on reviving everyone using your cheat code as the protector of Teyvat. With great power comes great benefits! Teyvat population stonks

Note: asmoday is the unknown god, reader also grants gnosis and visions, isekai, slight sagau in the future chapters, op reader

Summary: You are just a regular human being living your best life on Earth, collecting husbandos and waifus in Genshin Impact when all of a sudden you were isekai'd to Teyvat, but not as a traveler, a creator, or an NPC. You are a very close friend of both Celestia and the Unknown God, who is known as the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. You also hold a very important position of the highest order because unbeknownst to the general populace, you are the Protector of Teyvat from the outside forces. 

And so imagine the Archon's faces when their dead friends suddenly came back to life just so they can accompany you together with Aether and Paimon on a journey to spit on the Celestia's face

Timeline in Teyvat when you got transmigrated: Before any wars happened. Zhongli is probably sucking on a dragon pacifier or something if that even exists.

Warning: curse words, slight ooc, lore flying over the ocean and going for a swim, author removed the lore from the irminsul so act like you know nothing of it, i'm putting the lore in the cheese grater

“As what I am trying to say, Lady Y/N… is quite… a peculiar person.”

Jean sighed and scratched her temples, beginning to feel stressed. "Stop going in circles and get to the point, Kaeya."

About half an hour has passed since Kaeya first started talking, and it does not seem like he is going to get straight to the point any time soon.

Paimon flew closer to you, who was visibly bored as you sat on a chair, whispering into your ears.

“Paimon thinks you broke him...”

You folded your arms and looked at the man who had been struggling to explain for about ten minutes with a quiet chuckle. His eyes met yours, and he instantly averted his gaze, an embarrassed expression on his face.

And even Lisa, who is standing next to Jean, has been staring at you for quite some time. Her gaze was strong despite the pleasant smile on her face.

“You flatter me, Captain Kaeya.”

Jean arched an eyebrow at you, seemingly perplexed.

“After all, I am just a normal human being trying to make a living.”

She blinked, trying to process everything that is going on. If you're only something like a traveling merchant, why is Kaeya acting as if he's forced to sing praises about you?

The entire room fell silent, and all eyes were fixed on you.

With a straight face, you answered calmly, "I sell visions and use fried eggs to resurrect the dead.”

The room fell into an awkward silence as Kaeya coughed so loudly that he flopped down on the ground and decided to become one with the floor.

"This is quite a change of events," Lisa said with a beautiful frown as she glanced at Kaeya, who was suffering in silence.

Jean shook her head in utter confusion as she pointed at Kaeya, "Just why is he acting like this...?"

“Oh!” Paimon exclaimed in realization of Jean's question. She rubbed the side of her head then stroke her chin, as if she didn't know how to explain everything.

“Uhm— uh… Paimon's not sure who this Crepus guy is, but when Y/N threw a fried egg somewhere, he poof out of the ground and insisted on going to his son instead of joining us to meet you here.”

"He even wanted Kaeya to come along, but this man had already left before we realized it!" Paimon yelled and pointed towards Kaeya.

Jean raised a brow in confusion, and Paimon spoke once again, "It’s not Paimon’s fault, I swear! He suddenly appeared, and Kaeya looked like he had seen a ghost... Paimon is guessing that he is someone important that Y/N randomly brought back to life to scold Kaeya for touching her."

“Oh, my archons…”

Lisa turned to stare at Jean, her eyes wide with confusion.

“If I know… Crepus is Master Diluc’s father.”

Lisa gasped, and Kaeya seemed to be dead with his face plastered to the ground.

“Oh?” You shrugged your shoulders, glancing out the window, unconcerned with what was going on around you.

Jean sighed, obviously disturbed. "How is this even possible? I'm sure even the archons can't—"

“Lady Y/N is not an archon…”

“I’m afraid I don’t quite follow, Kaeya.” 

“Lady Y/N is someone who is much higher than the archons…”

Lisa appeared to be captivated with the new knowledge and immediately turned to gaze at you with amazement. You, on the other hand, paid no attention to her and continued to stare out the window absentmindedly.

Will Timmie make a great archon?

What if I give Timmie a Pyro Vision to roast his pigeons?

If I revive little floatie’s friend, will I have two little Venti?

But what if little floatie's friend starts to feel embarrassed when he sees the huge statue that looks like him standing in the middle of Mondstadt?

If I slap Dain with a fried egg to remove the curse, will he get mad? I’m pretty sure I’d lose my arm before my hand can even come close…

“Someone… higher than the archons?” Jean mumbled to herself.

Paimon huffed, placing her hands on her hips and said confidently, "She is the Protector after all!"

Lisa's eyes twinkled with delight and respect at the new revelation. Back in Akademiya, she unintentionally read a forbidden book about Teyvat's Protector. It was believed to have been authored by the first Dendro Archon, but the book has since been lost or stolen.

There are no other records of you save for that single book, which she is keeping so discreetly that she even went to Mondstadt to keep it safe, despite the fact that the book has reduced her lifespan in half. But unexpectedly, the book mysteriously vanished.

It was recorded that the God of Wisdom has only encountered you once, when they had ascended one of the seven seats, and there were no more chances of meeting you again because you've been protecting Teyvat in the shadows. You've been keeping Teyvat so safe that you have no time to even mingle with them.

"However, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Celestia is trying to keep her highness away from the seven archons, particularly the Anemo Archon,” —  this was one of the numerous lines written by the God of Wisdom that Lisa will never forget having to read.

It was only a one-time meeting, but it was described that all the archons were overjoyed to catch a glimpse of you. There must not be any records preserved or knowledge of you because doing so will provoke the heavenly principles. It's most likely that this is the reason why Sumeru was dealt such a devastating blow back then. And with such a wealth of information, Lisa is left wondering why she is still alive.

And now that the two of you even have the chance to meet, she considers herself to be one of the fortunate people in Teyvat to have the opportunity to speak with you face to face. 

Jean cast a quick glance in the direction of the librarian, who has all of a sudden adopted a new attitude towards you. Now that she's thinking about it, she's curious to find out what information the librarian has about you.

"...before we came to the headquarters, there were at least three or four citizens who had been granted with a vision.” Kaeya shuddered.

“Kaeya’s speaking the truth! Even Paimon has lost count already! At this point, the entire Mondstadt could be dubbed as the nation of vision holders!”

Paimon's voice jolted you out of your daze, prompting you to respond, "...I thought we'd keep that a secret."

“Oh— right! Paimon’s sorry!”

You laughed, softly waiving your hands as a sign that everything was fine. You looked at Jean, who was suddenly staring at you with such reverence that she seemed to want to grovel before you.

You smiled at her. “Anyways, are we done here?”

"Ah, yes," Jean said awkwardly, looking over at Aether, who was staring at you attentively, "About the storm terror attack."

"Y/N and the Anemo Archon supported me," Aether said with a blank expression and a shrug of his shoulders.

“Oh goodness… you’re traveling with the protector and even met the Anemo Archon?” Lisa asked, her mouth slightly wide in surprise.

“Anemo Archon, Anemo Archon, ah— my little floatie is just so adorable. Maybe I should travel the worlds with him after resigning…” You muttered to yourself.

Aether and the other people in the room have all of a sudden become alerted, and their attention is focused on you. Even Kaeya suddenly straightened his posture, only to see you staring peacefully outside the windows.

After resigning!? Travel alone with the Anemo Archon!? Jealous, jealous, jealous—

The voices of Celestia and Asmoday can be heard wailing somewhere in the distance in the sky. They are most likely devising a plot to put you behind bars at this very moment.

It shouldn't come as a surprise if the Anemo Archon suddenly have a club of haters.

You started humming a tune as you became aware of the peaceful atmosphere that was beginning to arise.

You snorted and mockingly said, "Oh? What exactly am I seeing? We've barely known each other for a day, and you're already obsessed with me?"

They all choked in embarrassment, turning away to hide their flushed cheeks.

You cocked your head to the side, amused, as they all began babbling silly reasons just to cover themselves up.

“W—well, it’s not everyday that you get to meet someone like— like—”

“Paimon thinks Y/N feels comfy to be around! Paimon’s not obsessed at all!”

Aether quickly agreed with a nod.

“Right, right, alright. If you people are still interested in discussing the stormterror attack, then I'll just leave you to it,” You gave them a soft smile as you floated right up from your seat and waved your hand before making the decision to vanish with a poof in order to bestow even more visions and cause more chaos.

"Don't look for me, I'm going to meet someone," They heard your voice echoing inside their thoughts, and it made them feel even greater animosity towards the person you are talking about.

“We don’t even want to talk about stormterror attack anymore!”

"…sigh. I wanted to listen more of her voice," Lisa grumbled, and Jean feels the same.

“She must’ve felt uncomfortable, she doesn’t want people talking about her after all.” Aether clicked his tongue in displeasure before running out the room with Paimon to find you.

"Just how am I going to explain everything to Diluc?" Kaeya chuckled bitterly as he slumped tiredly in the chair.

Thank the Gods you got away before they could get their paws on you. But it doesn't mean they won't pursue you.

“Woah! The birds are flocking to you!" Timmie talked happily, obviously amazed as he watched you almost completely covered in birds as you leaned on the parapet to watch the water race by.

"They're rather... heavy." You whispered, attempting to remain still while the birds that usually flew away at the sight of people treated you like a tree.

"Oh yeah! You're like God!"

You gave him a small grin as you looked down at him. "What makes you think that?"

“Well, I've heard stories about Lord Barbatos being so close to birds that he'd even fly alongside them! You're exactly like him!”

The birds chirped happily, rubbing their heads against your cheek as if they wanted to be complimented.

You snorted, trying to image Barbatos flying alongside the birds. You could say that your mind created a pretty humorous image.

Venti sat on top of the statue of the Anemo Archon, blushing profusely at what the wind had relayed to him. He's too sober enough to listen to your conversation, and he wishes he'd gone straight to the tavern to get drunk instead of stalking you.

But he wouldn't pass up an opportunity to see you.

"You seem to love pigeons a lot; do you wish to fly with them as well?"

“Yeah… I believe it would be cool, and maybe I'll be able to find daddy..."

You agreed with a little nod, calmly watching the river flow gently while Timmie stares in awe at how the sun rays were focused towards you, creating a lovely scene.

"Who knows, maybe you'll be reunited with your father soon," You spoke while remaining motionless in your position and gazing at the rushing river.

Timmie nodded, little relieved by your remarks. He has always waited, and he will never get tired of waiting.

“Hm?”

“What is it?”

You ignored Timmie as you cast a glance at the gates, sensing that at least four or five individuals were approaching you.

"I'm afraid our little bonding has to come to an end here."

Timmie pouted and mumbled cutely, "But me and my pigeons like you."

You amusedly ruffled his hair as you giggled at his antics.

"How about you come to me when you're lonely?" You smiled as you took his hands in your own and placed a glowing Anemo vision in his palm.

And then maybe when someone tries to hurt your pigeons, you can airbend the shit out of their lungs.

Timmie gaped, his gaze drawn to the vision in his hands and your bright, smiling face. He began stammering, his brain attempting to absorb everything that was happening at the moment.

Oh my god— oh my god— was all he could think of.

“Lady Y/N!” Jean and the others said in unison.

"See you soon," you said quietly, ignoring the people who were approaching you at an incredible pace, giving Timmie one last pat on the head before disappearing to slap someone with a fried egg somewhere else.

Because seriously, why is everyone so clingy to you when it comes to you? Can't a protector have a little peace in their lives?

Timmie stood motionless, a vision in his hands while his mind went haywire.

Daddy, daddy, I think I just met a God!

“Protecto—”

Before they even had a chance to finish their sentence, a fried egg came flying at them at a high rate of speed, and the runny egg yolk came splattering into their face.

You mumbled something under your breath while opening your eyes with a weary expression and blinking several times in an effort to clear the haze from your vision. They just can't seem to give you some space, even if it's just for a moment, can they not? You're literally trying to get some sleep!

The abyss mage who had just been smacked by a fried egg started to emit light as though the curse was in the process of being broken. Something shattered inside of their soul as they shed the last bit of monstrosity that had clung onto them for hundreds of years.

You found a comfortable position on the grass and leaned back against the tree. And off to the side of your vision, you can make out a woman with blond hair who is dressed in white and blue.

You fixed your attention on her, and by the expression on her face, you could see how genuinely surprised she was by what she had witnessed. Her eyes gleamed with much interest and reverence as they locked onto yours.

You immediately felt an inside sigh of frustration when you realize that you’re going to have another traveler who will try to cling onto you.

Lumine suddenly stepped up, and her voice is just as endearing as that of her twin brother. 

"It is an honor to meet our savior," she said. It was a display of respect, but you are too sharp to even believe those words. You are their savior, but that does not imply that they are obligated to treat you with the utmost respect.

You responded with a faint hum as you quickly pulled an abyss mage close to you to use as a pillow, unaware to the jealous stares that Lumine was giving you. 

“Are you here to meet with your twin?”

“I am not… ready to face him,” Lumine whispered softly while her face distorted into an agonized expression, as if she were thinking back on the times she spent with her twin brother.

"Help him with Dvalin," you said, your cheek resting on the back of your hand. You almost laughed when you saw her slightly frown at you. They were the ones that made Dvalin act like that, thus they should be the ones to clean up their mess.

“But—”

"I'm posing as your twin's guide right now, and if this storm terror problem isn't fixed by the end of the week, how am I meant to leave Mondstadt to search for and save the people of your nation?"

"I absolutely want to retire, sigh..." you mumbled, squeezing the abyss mage's cheeks in frustration.

"I suppose you have a point," Lumine answered, nodding her head in understanding. Maybe she can even take a break and check how her twin brother is doing in this world.

"Wonderful, you finally understand!" You replied enthusiastically, and your smile is so dazzling that Lumine feels like she's staring directly into the sun.

"Then, after cleaning up the mess that Celestia made, the two of you can leave Teyvat and continue on your journey."

“Perhaps after you've completed your journey in this world, I can go get some wine, retire, eh... maybe mingle with the humans and spend time with Venti, and...” You started rambling, not noticing how Lumine's face darkened at your words, suggesting that they should leave this world and continue their journey in another.

And Venti? That Barbatos? Lumine fumed whilst you are clueless that your little floatie had earned another hater.

And what if she refuses to leave? What if she desires to know more about you? What if Aether and her decide to bring you along with them on their journey across the worlds?

Far above in the clouds, the Celestia added another name to one of their most hated lists.

Barbatos

Archons

Travelers

You coughed and paused, embarrassed to disclose your life plans after retiring. Lumine, on the other hand, appears to be listening attentively, as though unconcerned with the fact that you're essentially begging them to leave.

Sighing heavily, you decided to put your plan of slapping them with a fried egg in the back of your mind and work on properly removing their curse.

Lumine kept an eye on you, observing how sincere you've become in your treatment of her allies. As your look became more serious, your hand smoothly glided to touch them without even a trace of revulsion.

Perhaps the unknown God isn’t going to be the one who will trap them in this world this time. Maybe you will be the new reason, and she will willingly stay just to uncover your mystery.

Aether, my twin brother, how about we postpone our journey for a while? Surely you felt the same way when you first met her?

sumimasorry for the late update, I was busy crying over my artifact substat and made a kazuscara ff instead

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