#prioritizing yourself

hey lovelies! ✧

i've been deep diving into tam kaur's videos lately (at 2am with a face mask on, as one does) and honestly? her advice has shifted something in me that i didn't even know needed shifting. i wanted to share some lessons that have genuinely changed how i move through the world, in case any of you need these reminders too.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ you're allowed to prioritize yourself ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

this seems so simple but was revolutionary for me. tam talks about how we're conditioned to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish, when actually it's the foundation of everything good we bring to the world. i used to feel guilty for saying no or taking time for myself, like i was somehow failing at being a good friend/daughter/person.

now i understand that filling my own cup first isn't just okay, it's necessary. i can't pour from empty, and neither can you.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ confidence is a practice, not a personality trait ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

i always thought confident people were just born that way. tam taught me that confidence is actually built through tiny, consistent actions, speaking up even when your voice shakes, trying things that scare you, and slowly expanding your comfort zone.

the most powerful part? she talks about how confidence isn't about never feeling insecure, it's about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. this changed everything for me because i was waiting to feel confident before acting confident. turns out it works the other way around.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ your worth isn't tied to productivity ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

in one video, tam mentioned how we're taught to tie our value to what we accomplish. i felt so seen because i've always been that person with the endless to-do lists, feeling like a failure on days when i don't cross enough items off.

learning to separate my inherent worth from my output has been the most freeing thing. i'm still working on it (catching myself when i say "i didn't do anything today"), but just being aware of this pattern has helped me be gentler with myself.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ healing isn't linear ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

tam talks about this a lot, how personal growth isn't this neat upward trajectory. it's messy. you'll have days where you feel like you've figured it all out, followed by days where you fall back into old patterns.

this helped me stop being so hard on myself when i slip up. healing isn't perfection; it's progress over time. those setbacks aren't failures, they're just part of the journey.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ other people's opinions aren't your responsibility ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

this one hit me hard. tam has this way of explaining how we waste so much energy trying to manage what others think of us, when ultimately, their opinions are shaped by their own experiences and insecurities.

i used to contort myself trying to make everyone like me. now i'm learning that some people simply won't, and that's okay. it's actually freeing to release that impossible responsibility.

what i love most about tam's approach is how she balances aspirational content with reality. she doesn't promise overnight transformation, she talks about the daily practice of choosing yourself, again and again.

have any of you found creators who've shifted your perspective like this? i'd love to know who else i should be watching!

xoxo, mindy 🤍

I’ve figured out what course I want for college (electrical engineering), but my family won’t support me because it’s too masculine and difficult, and I don’t want to go to nursing school as they requested. I’m not interested in working in the medical field, yet I feel somewhat selfish for sticking to my decision.

This issue appears in other aspects of my life too, then when I try to assert myself, it looks like I’m being too demanding, even though I’m only asking for feasible/bare minimum stuff (ex. privacy + time to do homework/exercise, suggesting ideas or plans, etc.).

Is there a way to get closure from this? :(

hey anonie! i totally understand how you feel. to start off, im not going to sell u something thats not true. YES when u start to prioritize yourself and your own wants and goals you're going to feel guilty. and thats a healthy emotion to feel bcuz it shows that u care.

but if u know in ur heart that this is the path that u want and that this is whats best for you, you have a responsibility to yourself to stick with it. just because ur family/others might feel disappointed in you for not going into the medical field like they would've wanted you to, doesn't mean that they don't still love you. give them space to feel disappointed and allow yourself to feel guilty.