#premarriage

Sebelum melangkah lebih jauh, maka perbaikilah komitmen dirimu sendiri.

Pertama, komitmen untuk memperbaiki kehidupan agama. Karena anak-anak nantinya akan melihat bagaimana cara orangtuanya merespon kehidupan sehari-hari. Mereka akan belajar dari orangtuanya agar tetap tenang dan bersabar menghadapi musibah, agar tetap bersyukur dalam setiap keadaan yang dialaminya. Juga komitmen untuk menjaga kedekatan dengan al Quran. Kedekatan orang tua dengan para ahli agama akan menjadi cerminan bagi anak-anaknya. Jika belum bisa dekat dengan para ahli agama, setidaknya berusahalah untuk dekat dengan para penuntut ilmu.

Kedua, komitmen untuk memperbaiki managemen finansial. Penting sekali untuk tidak mengawali pernikahan dengan berhutang. Jika masih ada tanggungan, maka harus berkomitmen melunasi hutang dengan segera. Dan jika sudah lunas, maka berusahalah untuk tidak menambah hutang dengan cara apapun. Jika kita sudah merdeka karena tidak berhutang, maka kewajiban kita adalah belajar mengelola keuangan dengan baik. Agar kita nantinya bisa mencukupi kebutuhan primer, sekunder, dan tersier yang semakin beragam. Agar kelak bisa leluasa mengelola tabungan, investasi, sedekah, dan sebagainya. Selain adanya penghasilan tetap, skill diri harus terus diasah agar membuka keran penghasilan tambahan. Karena skill akan menjadi daya tahan hidup kita.

Tak kalah pentingnya, komitmen tentang kedisiplinan, akhlak, dan mental. Maka mulailah berlatih untuk tidak menampung cerita orang lain yang berghibah. Belajarlah untuk marah dengan syariat, dan sebagainya. Terakhir, komitmen tentang berdamai dengan kedua orang tua. Jangan pernah memberikan konflik yang belum selesai kepada pasangan kita nantinya. Jangan pernah menikah jika belum mendapat izin dari orangtua kita. Selesailah dengan diri sendiri sebelum melangkah lebih jauh nanti. Karena kita menikah bukan untuk lepas dari tanggungjawab. Namun, untuk mengemban amanah baru sebagai keluarga dalam rangka menjaga ketaatan kita kepada Allah swt. 

Semoga Allah menjaga komitmen kita.

(disarikan dari kajian Ust. Amar Risalah)

                                    The Farmer’s Market

Sigyn hummed to herself as she browsed the market stalls, her empty basket on her arm, ready to be filled with the treasures she would find that day.  The market place was busy that day, possibly more busy than she’s seen it in a while, and it filled her with a certain joy that possibly her favorite vendors would be blessed with more sales for today.

She herself was planning on visiting her favorite fruit vendor. Today was the day the stall owner had said he would finally have peaches in stock, and Sigyn was excited to taste her favorite fruit again after a couple of months of it being out of season.

In her hurry to get to her favorite fruit stall, she accidentally bumped into something hard enough to whirl her around. An apology on her lips, she dipped into a quick curtsy as her face flamed up in embarrassment.

Still She Married Him 

Summary: We've all heard the story of how Red punched out a doctor who was getting fresh with Kitty, but did you ever wonder what exactly happened? Find out here as Red and Kitty reminisce about the incident in this three-shot.

Pairings: Red and Kitty Forman

Rating: K+

Well this is just the sweetest message! Thank you!

And asking me for Fanfic Recs? This rarely ever happens to me so I’m super excited! And you are in luck because there are a few fics that fall under what you’re looking for and I think you might really enjoy them.

Hope you enjoy whichever of these fics you decide to check out! Also hope I didn’t get too carried away with this lol

Thank you so much for the question!! *hug*

Red and Kitty After The Birth of Their Children Fics

Moments in Time Chapter 7- Number One written by alexkj

Summary: This is a pre-series flashback fic to when Laurie was born.

Comments: I absolutely adore this collection but this particular chapter is one of my absolute favorites! It is pure sweet fluff.

Red and Kitty Fics Where Kitty is Pregnant with Eric or Laurie

Baby Cakes written by nannygirl 

Summary: When expectant parents Jackie and Hyde can’t seem to agree on whether or not they should find out the gender of their baby, they turn to Red and Kitty Forman who share with them a story of their own experience.

Comments: Another fic that I wrote. It’s got some Jackie/Hyde stuff thrown in but in the second chapter it’s pure flashback to 1959 when Kitty was expecting Eric.

Baby Bump  written by kevin the bird

Summary: Kitty had been on her maternity leave for a week now and it seemed like she hadn’t put anything on except for one of Red’s shirts. At first Red just rolled his eyes and let her do it, now he was genuinely curious as to why that was all she wore. So he decided he would ask her when she came downstairs from her shower.

Comments: This is a short little piece that’s an adorably sweet look inside what everyday life would have been like during the the time that Kitty was pregnant with Eric.

First Kick  by kevin the bird 

Summary: But it’s a good thing she hadn’t because she felt another kick. She sat up quickly and rested a hand on the side of her growing stomach. “Red,” she said as she poked Red in the shoulder softly with her other hand. “Red, honey, wake up,” she said. Red immediately woke up and sat up quickly.

Comments: Lots of fluff in this two parter here! In this fic we get to see Red and Kitty’s reactions at feeling each of their children kicking for the first time.

Red and Kitty Taking Place When They First Met Fanfics

There aren’t many fanfics about this, I guess because we saw how they met in the show (Backstage Pass, season 3) there used to be a fic that explored what happened later that nigh but its since been removed and I foolishly didn’t save it. However there are a few fics that deal with Red and Kitty’s relationship before they were married.

Still She Married Him written by nannygirl

Summary: We’ve all heard the story of how Red punched out a doctor who was getting fresh with Kitty, but did you ever wonder what exactly happened? Find out here as Red and Kitty reminisce about the incident in this three-shot.

Comments: This fic was written by me several years back. I love filling in the blanks of things we heard about in the show but never saw.

I’ll Be Waiting written by alexkj

Summary: A journey through the ups and downs of their relationship, as well as, a look inside the love letters between Red and Kitty during the Korean War.

Sebagai pihak perempuan yang biasa-biasa aja ini, memangnya tidak boleh kah mendapatkan pasangan yang sesuai dengan kriteria yang dimau, dibutuhkan, bahkan bare minimum.

Takut banget, biodata-biodata itu laki-laki maupun perempuan ditampilkan, dibaca, dipilih dan ditunggu. Terus yang lebih membingungkan adalah..

Bagaimana? Apakah kamu mau ketika shalat dhuha saja tidak rutin, bacaan quran terbata-bata, bahkan hafalan quran kurang dari 10 surat? Bukan masalah menemani dari 0, tapi itu terlalu jauh.. bukannya lebih baik memperbaiki terlebih dahulu?

Belum lagi masalah penting, belum bekerja atau masih bergantung dengan orangtua.. kayak? Ada tanda tanya besar yang muncul. Lantas, kehidupan seperti apa yang mau dihadapi?

ChatGPT : Dan kalau nanti Allah hadirkan seseorang dalam hidupmu, itu bukan karena kamu udah fix jadi “versi paling baik” dari dirimu, tapi karena kamu mau terus tumbuh dan belajar bersama orang itu.

🧕 : Bagiku ya, siap itu ketika bisa memilah antara keinginan dan kebutuhan, wise terhadap kesehatan dan keuangan, bisa diajak diskusi, kompromi, nggak ada rasa gengsi. Dan satu lagi, mau belajar.

ChatGPT : Karena siap nikah itu memang bukan soal umur, bukan soal mapan aja, apalagi cuma karena “pingin punya teman hidup”. Tapi tentang bisa membedakan mana yang penting buat hari ini, dan mana yang penting untuk selamanya.

Huhu perbincangan malam ini yang menenangkan. Terima kasih temanku dan our AI yang sudah mau menjadi teman berbincang. Kamu, semoga dilancarkan ya segala prosesnya. Aamiin.

Hey there, future brides and grooms! Let's talk about something that might seem a little unromantic at first: pre-marriage investigation. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Background checks? For the person I love? No way!" But hear me out. In today's world of online dating and long-distance love, getting to know your partner—really know them—is more important than ever.

Here at Pre Marriage Detectives, we're not about ruining your fairy tale. We're here to make sure it has the happiest ending possible. Because let's face it, love might be blind, but marriage shouldn't be!

What's the Big Deal? Why Investigate?

Trust is Good, But Clarity is Better

Think of it this way: you wouldn't buy a house without an inspection, right? Marriage is an even bigger investment—of your heart, your future, and yep, your finances too. A little due diligence can go a long way. It's not that you don't trust your partner. It's that you respect your relationship enough to put all cards on the table.

Better Safe Than Sorry

We've all heard those horror stories. The dream partner who turned out to be married already. The doting fiancé with a secret gambling problem. Nobody thinks it'll happen to them—until it does. A pre-marriage investigation is like an insurance policy for your happily ever after. Wouldn't you rather know about any potential bumps in the road before you set off on your lifelong journey together?

What Can a Pre-Marriage Detective Agency Uncover?

Show Me the Money (Problems)

One of the biggest things we look into? Finances. It's not about how much money your partner has. It's about how they handle it. Are there debts you don't know about? A bankruptcy in the past? Getting this all out in the open now can save you a lot of headaches (and heartaches) down the line.

The Legal Lowdown

Has your sweetheart ever been in trouble with the law? We're not just talking about major crimes here. Even things like multiple speeding tickets or a suspended license can hint at larger issues. A pre-matrimonial investigation can bring these to light, so you can discuss them openly.

The Ex Files

Past relationships can tell us a lot. Maybe there's an ex-spouse you didn't know about. Or child support payments that will affect your future budget. Knowing this stuff isn't about dredging up the past—it's about being fully informed as you plan your future.

Digital Deep Dives: Because Online Isn't Always Fine

Social Media vs. Reality

We all put our best selves forward on Instagram and Facebook. But is your partner's online persona telling the whole story? A good pre-marriage detective agency will look for any red flags, like hidden profiles or concerning interactions.

Catfish Concerns

Sad but true: romance scams are on the rise. If you met your partner online (hey, no shame in that game!), it's extra important to verify that they are who they say they are. Better to check now than to doubt later, right?

It's a Small World After All: International Investigations

Love Without Borders

Marrying someone from another country? How romantic! But it can also be complicated. Documentation, cultural differences, even the possibility of marriage fraud—there's a lot to navigate. That's where a pre-marriage investigation can be a real lifesaver.

Family Matters

In many cultures, you're not just marrying a person; you're joining a family. Understanding family dynamics, expectations, and any obligations your partner might have can help you start your new life together on the right foot.

Awkward But Necessary: Having "The Talk"

How to Bring It Up

Suggesting a background check can feel about as comfortable as a pebble in your shoe. But it doesn't have to be! Try something like: "Hey, I love you and I'm so excited for our future. That's why I think we should both get pre-marriage investigations. Total transparency, you know?" Framing it as a mutual thing can take the sting out.

What If They Find Something?

Deep breath. Finding out something unexpected about your partner doesn't have to mean the end of the road. It's an opportunity for honest communication. Maybe there's a reasonable explanation. Maybe it's something you can work through together. Or maybe it's a deal-breaker—and isn't it better to know that before you say "I do"?

Leave It to the Pros: Why DIY Won't Do

Google Isn't Everything

Sure, we can all search social media and maybe dig up an old traffic ticket online. But professional investigators have access to way more. Comprehensive databases, court records, international information—stuff you can't just Google.

Keeping It Legal, Keeping It Ethical

There's a right way and a wrong way to do background checks. At Pre Marriage Detectives, we know all the rules. What's okay to look into, what's off-limits, how to protect everyone's privacy—we've got it covered. No creepy stalker vibes here!

The Price of Peace of Mind

Penny-Wise, Pound-Foolish?

I get it. Hiring a pre-marriage detective agency costs money. But you know what's way more expensive? Divorce. Therapy to deal with betrayal. Lawyers to untangle merged finances. When you look at it that way, a pre-marriage investigation is a bargain.

Good Marriages, Happier World

This might sound cheesy, but it's true: when people enter marriage with eyes wide open, it's better for everyone. Kids grow up in more stable homes. Courts aren't clogged with messy divorces. One solid marriage at a time, we're building a society based on honesty and trust. Not bad, right?

Real People, Real Stories

Sarah's Close Call

Sarah was all set to marry her long-distance boyfriend—until a pre-matrimonial investigation revealed he had a wife and kids in another state. Devastating? You bet. But Sarah says she'd rather nurse a broken heart now than shattered trust (and bigamy charges!) later.

Mark and Julie's Happy Ending

When Mark suggested they both get background checks, Julie was hurt at first. But the process actually brought them closer. "Seeing it all laid out, the good and the bad, made me feel like we really knew each other," Julie says. They're now happily married—and big fans of radical honesty.

Crystal Ball Time: The Future of Pre-Marriage Investigation

Tech Meets Trust

As technology evolves, so does the world of background checks. We're talking AI that can spot behavioral patterns, blockchain for super-secure identity verification, real-time data that leaves no stone unturned. The future of pre-marriage investigation is like a really good bouncer: nothing sketchy gets past it.

The New Normal

Here at Pre Marriage Detectives, we have a dream. A world where checking your partner's background is as standard as picking out wedding flowers. Not because we're all suspicious, but because we all value starting marriage on a foundation of total transparency.

Wrapped Up With a (Safety) Bow

Listen, we know romance isn't all spreadsheets and background checks. But we also know that the best love stories are built on trust, honesty, and really knowing each other. A pre-marriage investigation isn't about spoiling the magic. It's about making sure your magic is the real deal.

So before you walk down that aisle, before you say those vows, give yourself the gift of certainty. Because "happily ever after" is way more likely when it starts with clarity.

Here at Pre Marriage Detectives, we're rooting for your love story. We just want to make sure it's not a mystery novel in disguise. Ready to write your next chapter—with no surprises? Give us a call. Let's make sure your forever is built on facts, not just feelings.