#prejudiced

Indiscernible, that is, until you stepped out of the hem, a white stumbling flutter of feathers. Sirius whistled jokingly, watching you trying to figure out this whole new body thing.

“Nice. A barn owl, uh?” Sirius said, trying to sound laid-back despite being terribly excited by your successful transformation. “Ooh, do you think you can do that freaky neck twisting thing?” he asked, eyes wide.

You couldn’t answer him, but your glare back at him was pretty straightforward. And, coming from an owl on the ground, comical enough.

“Now love, no need to get mad. It all went perfectly well, didn’t it?” he smirked. 

Thankfully, Sirius had gotten used to talking to his mates in their animagus forms, so talking to you while you couldn’t answer wasn’t awkward. In fact, he’d always liked being able to tease someone and watch the look in the eyes of their animal forms, that one look that meant “you’re enjoying this, aren’t you.”

Seeing that you seemed to have gotten the hang of walking around on these tiny claws, he decided to prompt you to take things further. 

“I say it’s time you try these wings of yours,” he taunted, crouching down. 

He could tell his teasing was working, because almost instantly you spread out your wings, flapping them clumsily, but not taking off. 

“Here, I think you need to be free falling for the instincts to kick in,” he said, extending an arm as he approached, which you instantly rejected by fluttering your wings in his face. Needless to say, the gesture felt to him like he’d just been flicked on the forehead.

“That,” he muttered, eyes closed, “was unnecessary.”

He opened his eyes to see you managing to fly up to the window, which really was just an opening in the wall. Seeing you perched up there, he could tell you were gaging the distance to the ground.

“Come on now, what’s a little risk like this compared to all you had to do to get there?” he told you, referring to the months of sneaking around you’d dealt with in order to transform.

Now, Sirius Black was no expert in owl body language, but he could’ve sworn you’d nodded. He kept on observing curiously, patiently waiting as you seemed to almost go in two or three times, but backing out at the last second. As he was debating whether he should scare you to make you jump from the windowsill, you took the leap yourself, and he felt his stomach drop.

Running to the window, he searched the darkness below, trying to spot if you’d made it. Even though the storm had quickly softened, he was suddenly filled with dread.

“Come on, come on...” he murmured expectantly, still scrutinizing the void below. 

All of a sudden, you came blazing past him from below, inches away from his head. Shocked but tremendously relieved, he let his head fall between his elbows, loosening the tight grip he’d had on the bricks, chuckling. Quickly, he took a step back to give you some space to get back inside the tower.

It took you a minute, but you found your way back. However, the landing was something you’d have to work on; you completely passed the windowsill and landed abruptly on the stones of the floor, sending stray hay flying in the scuffle, which earned you an earnest laugh from Sirius.

He was still grinning as you tried to get as much dust off yourself as possible, before flying off to the hollow brick in which you’d stashed the vial, which laid on the ground next to the wall. 

He looked at you do so intently, curious as to what exactly you were aiming to do. He rolled his eyes when he saw what else had been hidden in the hollow brick. More or less gracefully, you picked up a sleeping mask by its elastic and pulled it out of there only to drop it at Sirius’s feet, sending him a look that left no doubt to the purpose of the mask.

“That,” he began, crouching to take the mask, “really is no fun at all,” he smirked. “I can’t believe you actually planned this, you control freak,” he commented, putting on the mask. “There, now you can go about your business.”

Facing the wall, mask on, Sirius was now waiting for you to transform back. You hadn’t kept your owl form for that long, but it was recommended for new animagi to ease into their animal form on shorter intervals of time at first. As he was desperately trying to think of anything but your naked body upon transforming back, he heard the faint sound of the reversed transformation only a trained ear would identify. 

“Are you back in your skin and bones?” he called out, his voice impish.

“Please keep the mask on,” you begged, but he could hear the giddy smile in your voice, which made him chuckle.

“Honestly, after all I’ve done for you here, you’d think I’d be entitled to a little thank you gift,” he joked to make sure the atmosphere remained light.

“Shut up, you git,” you laughed. “Alright, you can take the mask off.”

He did so gladly, turning around to face you. While he was keeping his mind from wandering in a certain direction, he’d remembered a little prank he didn’t get to do too often.

You were pulling at the hem of the dress you’d just put back on, and he was staring eyes wide at you.

“What?” you asked, perplexed. “What is it?” you asked, nervous, reaching for you cheek.

“Alright, don’t freak out, I’m sure it can be fixed,” he began cautiously.

Your eyes grew wide in panic for a split second, before transforming into a death glare.

“I hate you so much,” you told him, but couldn’t keep a straight face and started chuckling. 

“Damnit,” he laughed. “I really thought I could get you, with Peter he believed it for a full ten minutes, it was glorious.”

“You’re the worst friend, Sirius,” you scolded him, giggling. 

“Ah, now, enough about me,” he brushed it off as if it had been a compliment. “How was it?” he asked you.

He saw something shift in your eyes, like they actually twinkled for a second.

“It was everything,” you said, trying to contain your excitement. “I don’t know how to describe it, but... I mean, you know!”

“Yeah I know,” he chuckled at your giddiness. “I know precisely,” he smiled.

“So what now?” you asked, eager.

“Now?” he repeated, amused. “Now you go and get some sleep, once you ride out that high you’ll be crashing pretty fast.”

He was amused by how you seemed to deflate yet remain unbelievably happy.

“Alright then, we should probably be on our way,” you agreed. “Wouldn’t want you to miss out on an exclusive Gryffindor event,” you joked, referring to the party he’d gotten out of to be there with you.

“Trust me, this event right here was much more exclusive,” he winked. 

A moment passed, and he saw a million thoughts go through your head. He was about to frown, when your face relaxed and your lurched forward to give him a quick hug.

“Thanks for being here with me tonight, Sirius,” you thanked him, and he felt your heart pounding from the adrenaline against his chest, making him smile to himself. “I definitely needed that... security.”

“No problem,” he chuckled, not bothering to find a witty reply.

You stepped away, and he couldn’t help but catch a whiff of the smell of your shampoo as you did so. Something floral, and something woody, too. Why did it feel familiar to him?

“Alright, no need to hang around here any longer,” you said, looking around.

“After you,” he mock-bowed, smirking.

The following day at lunch, Sirius was sitting with James, Remus and Peter as usual. He was fiddling with his fork in his emptied plate, half-listening to James doting on about Lily and what he should get her for Christmas even though they’d only started going out two weeks prior and there was over a month left until the Holidays.

He was growing increasingly bored, when his gaze caught you on your way to leaving the hall. He followed you with his eyes a second too long, because unbeknownst to him, Remus had followed his gaze.

“So sorry lads, I just remembered, I have some homework to get on with,” Sirius excused himself, getting up.

“You seem awfully eager to get to that homework, mate,” Remus teased knowingly.

“Yeah that doesn’t even make sense Pads, it’s a Saturday,” James scoffed, genuinely puzzled.

“Detention homework,” he shrugged.

“Oh right,” Peter nodded.

Sirius took the occasion to start walking away, fast.

“Wait, we didn’t even get detention this week!” Peter exclaimed, and the three pairs of eyes followed him out of the great hall, only Remus having an idea of where he was truly headed.

“Y/N, wait up!” he shouted after you.

You turned around, a puzzled look about you, before smiling when you saw him.  He jogged up to you, not failing to notice your smile. 

“Someone’s in a good mood today,” he said having caught up. “Are you still glad it all went well and you’re not permanently feathered or are you simply happy to see me?” he teased.

“A little bit of both actually,” you smiled earnestly.

“Ooh, sincerity,” he noted, surprised. “Is that our thing now?”

“I don’t know, do we have a “thing”?” you replied, smirking.

“Why does this feel like a trick question?” he pondered.

“I don’t know, does it?” you asked back, amused.

He shook his head, chuckling, before shifting the conversation back to the purpose he’d ran after you for. 

“Listen, if you ever want a safer spot than the owlery, to, you know, “train”, even though I’ll admit it is fairly fitting-” he started, but was cut off by his own confusion.

He’d caught another whiff of the same scent he’d smelled off you the previous night, but this time stronger. He couldn’t help but be overpowered by the feeling he’d already smelled that exact scent, but he couldn’t pinpoint why, and he somehow knew it was important.

“Are you okay?” you asked him, somewhat worried. “Am I witnessing a stroke?”

“No, sorry, I just, uh, something just randomly popped in my mind,” he brushed it off. “Anyways, what I was saying is, if you’re not doing anything, I have a pretty sweet spot I could show you,” he added.

“Yeah, okay,” you replied, still wondering what had taken over him.

Great, now she must think I’m dim or something, he internally groaned. 

“Got your wand with you?” he asked, since you’d need it.

“A good witch always does,” you winked playfully. 

“Alright then, follow me,” he chuckled.

He sneaked the two of you out of the castle and to the edge of the forbidden forest. You’d chatted lightly on the way, but when you realized where he wanted to go, you hesitated.

“Sirius, that’s the forbidden forest... As in off limits,” you pointed out, worried. 

“Oh okay, so illegally becoming an animagus is perfectly fine but Hogwarts rules are sacred?” he scoffed, not having considered that now would be the time you’d have scruples. 

“You are actively trying to land us in detention again, aren’t you?” you argued, unfazed by his rhetoric.

“Listen, if you’d rather hang out on the school grounds and risk being spotted be my guest, I’m just trying to help you out here,” he replied, suddenly defensive.

He watched you take a breath and evaluate your options. Somehow, he always expected things to go a certain way with you, and they never did. He hadn’t decided yet whether it was exciting or frustrating. 

“Okay, let’s go,” you conceded.

He smiled triumphantly, and unconsciously extended his hand to you before getting going. His heart skipped a beat when he realized that you were looking at his hand with your eyebrows raised, a look about you at the crossroads of hesitant and stunned. You were turning this into a bigger gesture than he’d meant, and he was going to drop his hand, but you caught it at the last minute. 

“Let’s go,” he nodded, biting his lip to stop a smile.

He couldn’t help but feel glad you finally trusted him. After all that had happened, from the hallway encounters to the detention to the transformation, some part of him felt better knowing he was no longer just the prick who’d sent your robes on fire in the first year to impress his friends. He realized he no longer thought of you as that Slytherin girl with the Gryffindor little brother. Perhaps that was what had drawn him to you in the first place, your situations sort of being at opposite ends.

“So, uh, how has your brother been?” he asked you, his wandering thoughts having caused some sort of silence. 

“You probably see him more often than I do at this point, to be honest,” you replied, amused and a twinge bitter.

“Right,” he nodded. “Just like you probably see Regulus more often than I do,” he added.

“Right,” you nodded. “Household rivalries, truly what holds this school together,” you said mockingly.

He didn’t reply right away. Like most students, he’d loved the feeling of belonging to his house more than any inconvenience it could have ever caused.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve said something along those lines,” he simply noted.

“Sorry,” you said, and he could’ve sworn you were biting your tongue.

“You know, if something’s on your mind, now’s as good a time as any to let it out,” he suggested. “Away from any other set of ears.”

Your hand slipped from his as it went to scratch your neck, you shoulders tense. 

“It’s just that...” you started, looking to the ground, “My brother and I were super close when we were younger. And now he barely smiles at me when I see him and he’s with his Gryffindor friends, and to be honest it kinda sucks.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he scoffed. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I never really got along with my family, but sometimes I wonder if things would have been better if I hadn’t gotten sorted into Gryffindor. If they hadn’t seen it coming,” he reflected.

“I didn’t know you were in such a bad place with your family,” you replied quietly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, and besides, I’ve found a new family here. One that’s better for me,” he said. “I would’ve gone insane without them.”

You nodded, silent. People didn’t talk about these things at Hogwarts. He’d never met anyone who questioned the house system. 

“I’m not saying this to change your mind or anything, though,” he added, looking at you to see if he could discern your thoughts on your face.

“No, it’s good to see things from other perspectives,” you said. “It makes for a healthier... discussion.”

He could see you were holding back, like you hadn’t finished saying what you had on your mind. He wondered whether it was more appropriate to touch your shoulder, or your arm, or keep his hands to himself to show he was open to you going on. He was about to reach for your shoulder when you sighed loudly, and his hand fell back to his side.

“It’s just, I see how it may be good to put like-minded people together, but for seven years?” you began. “I don’t know, sometimes I’ll be in our common room, and I’ll hear whispers, and I won’t like what I think I’m hearing.”

You paused again, and he felt that somehow your conversation had just gotten a lot deeper. For people who usually talked about party snacks, this was a new thing. He hadn’t had that kind of talk with anyone besides Remus in recent years.

“What’s your stance on divination, Sirius?” you asked him, and you stopped walking to get a good look at him.

“That I’m not particularly gifted at it?” he answered, unsure what you wanted to hear. 

You nodded, seeming to ponder whether you’d keep going.

“The other day we got to use the crystal balls in class. Mine filled with some sort of murky green smoke, and then the smoke started to move like there was a storm in there. And then there was a flash of bright green. And the smoke transformed into ash, and it filled the ball so much it cracked, and the ash leaked onto the table,” you recounted, your voice much less stable than it usually was.

Sirius could hear the fright in your voice. Frankly, he was feeling uneasy himself.

“So what does it mean?” he asked carefully.

“Nothing, if you don’t believe in divination,” you scoffed. “Nothing good if you do. It was sent to the department of mysteries at the Ministry.”

At this point, you were both deep into the forbidden forest, and Sirius had absolutely no idea how to react to what you’d just said. 

“Sorry, I don’t know why I brought it up,” you apologized, and a tear spilled out of your right eye.

“Hey-” he began, wanting to do something, anything to comfort you.

“Merlin, I don’t know why I’m so emotional,” you said, wiping your cheek, annoyed. “I guess it’s from finally talking about it out loud,” you shook your head. “Of course this couldn’t just be a nice walk through the forest,” you scoffed.

“Listen, it’s okay,” Sirius intervened, and he instinctively pulled you in his arms. “I’m glad it’s off your chest, that sounded intense. Sorry you had to see that,” he said to let you know he wasn’t bothered.

Now that you were in his arms, however, he somehow felt incredibly awkward, as if he’d forgotten which way was okay to hug a friend. Should he hold you tighter? Should he stroke your back? And on top of it, his nose was now right next to your hair, and there was that smell of flowers and some type of wood again that drove him crazy by not knowing how he knew it.

“Thanks,” you breathed, and you stepped away, ending his anguish. “Sorry if I freaked you out with all the serious stuff, I don’t know what took over me.”

“Please, serious is my first name, I can handle you speaking your mind,” he chuckled.

You let out an exasperated laugh, shaking your head.

“And just how many times have you made that joke exactly?” you asked, amused.

“Oh, far too many times,” he conceded. “Anyways, I didn’t want to kill your whole vibe there before,” he started, but you interrupted him by playfully punching his arm, “Ow! Anyways, we’re here.”

He saw you looking around, searching for a particularity to the spot.

“A few more footsteps actually,” he corrected himself.

He took your hand, this time confidently and without waiting for you to accept, and lead you forward through some drooping branches, making sure to hold them out of your way so they wouldn’t snap on you. And sure enough, there it was; a nice clearing, with a clear view to the sky. It looked innocent enough, but his trained eye immediately went to the trees where James had left marks from rubbing his antlers, or the scarce patch of grass where he himself had decided to test out how long he could dig as a dog without getting tired.

“Nice spot,” you smiled. “So, should we get to work?”