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He's nonverbal. Not because he can't talk, but because he's used to not talking unless it's for giving reports. And since he's not going on any missions, there's nothing to report. But also he he's pleased (because he doesn't think soldiers can "like" yet) that Steve isn't pushing him to talk outside that either
Took Steve a while to notice but Bucky has to be fed and hydrated or else he won't eat or drink anything. So Steve is setting alarms to feed him regularly
Bucky working to getting himself out of the conditioning that says every little thing leads to punishment, and not everyone around him is his target, handler, superior, or another soldier. That people are just civilians and friends
Bucky re-learning his name and getting used to being called by it instead of "Soldat" or the "Winter Soldier"
Bucky getting taken to walks and picnics in places that aren't too crowded with disguises. Steve got him a flesh sleeve for his metal arm, trimmed his hair properly and gave him glasses. They walk around, sometimes run, though Steve has to make sure Bucky isn't going too fast to attract attention
Steve showing Bucky animals around them, getting him used to being outside, outside of the times he went on missions
Steve teaching Bucky how to feed the ducks in the park pond and Bucky is loving it
Steve makes Bucky flower crowns and that tactical genius with his genius hands geniusly learning immediately, much to Steve's amusement, and starting to make his own flower crowns for Steve every time they go out
Bucky gathering shiny rocks, pretty feathers, little colorful flowers, different looking leaves. Bringing and presenting them to Steve. Steve keeps all of them at a seperate corner of his house on display. They even press flowers between books after Bucky notices that they wither too fast for comfort
Bucky tasting new flavors and re-learning what it means to have favorite things when it comes to food. Other things, too, but mostly food
Steve making sure Bucky is extra warm every night on the bed so he doesn't feel like he's about to be cryo-ed while sleeping
Steve giving Bucky little tasks in the house so he doesn't go depressed feeling out of commission and useless
Bucky initially acting like an attack dog whenever someone comes over to Steve house, but ends up warming up to the most frequent friends of Steve's
Bucky re-learning how to talk, to speak without getting spoken to first, to express himself, to have and express opinions, to say no. To learn not everything is an order
Bucky learning how to smile watching Steve's radiant smile all day every day
Knife professional extraordinaire Bucky learning how to cook and creating aesthetic masterpieces even if the taste is questionable most of the time. He's learning
Bucky learning how to use his hands gently
Bucky learning how to navigate his nightmares and episodes. Learning how to regulate his emotions without completely shutting them out
Bucky getting used to making and having his memories
Bucky learning how to cry, laugh, get shy, be confident, be assertive, and express all the other emotions he hadn't felt or projected in the past 70 years
Bucky gradually relaxing around other people enough to see a therapist after Sam recommended one to them in his VA work. Steve still stays with him in the room for his comfort. When Steve starts getting out of the room, he still knocks on the door every ten minutes to let Bucky knows he's still there, he's still close if he needs him. Steve once leaving for the bathroom and missing his ten minute check in mark and Bucky almost breaking down, only to be treated to a warm bath & after bath cuddling session at home as an apology
Bucky learning how to treat himself like a human and not a machine or just a weapon
Bucky sometimes taking his arm off at home to feel more secure because he's still scared of using it to hurt others
Bucky who plays nurse every time Steve comes back injured from a mission
Bucky gradually getting used to going out on his own
Bucky gradually learning to adjust to more crowded places and, not socializing, but communicating with other people in super markets or grocery stores or subways or busses
Bucky who takes years to not heal, but adjust
Bucky who still has Steve with him in every step of the way
Every city Barnes was spotted, Sam would follow up. Every sighting, every report, Sam was there, staking out the neighborhood.
But every time he responded to a call, the only runaway he would see was a cat. A stray. At first, he thought it was a different cat every time.
The one he saw in Poland was grey. Germany? White. It was only because of the distance that he didn't realize it was the same cat.
He'd connected the dots by the time he asked Steve, "Did he like cats?"
"What?"
"Bucky. When you knew him, did he like cats?"
"Oh," Steve turned back to the stove. "Well, he always stopped to pet em. But we couldn't keep them. Too poor."
"Hmm."
In Croatia, he officially met the cat. He'd been watching a building from a rooftop across the street when a flash of white darted across his peripheral.
The cat was looking at him skeptically. She'd stopped her approach to assess him.
"Um. Hi."
She came closer and let him reach out to scratch her head.
"Can you tell me where he is? Or how about you tell him to stop this nonsense and let us help him, huh?"
The cat bristled then and scampered off.
By the time he followed her to an alley way, the spot where it seemed someone had been sleeping was cleared. All that was left was a small dish full of water.
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Hey, people! made something for @sambuckylibrary's SamBucky Holiday Bingo 2025! I was listening to "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None The Richer and idk this came to me haha It is also for the prompt "Mistletoe". Please enjoy the fic! 🥰
kiss me (beneath the milky twilight)
| Pairing: SamBucky | Rated: G | WC: 2.4K |
Summary: Sam Wilson walks outside for air while visiting his sister Sarah for the holidays. He ends up crossing paths with a certain lying low Winter Soldier on the backyard porch.
Excerpt:
Sam.
Tensed when he sensed something.
A presence.
Found his body moving before his brain caught up.
Found himself on the other side of the porch, pinning down a man with overgrown, shaggy brown hair, a five o’clock shadow, pale skin in the moonlight, and piercing blue eyes that seemed to look apologetically yet intensely into Sam’s own.
Oh.
“Bucky?” whispered Sam, surprised.
Summary: On a trip to town with Bucky, Joanne opens her email account, finding a reply from the person who posted the personal ad. A building tension between the couple comes to a head after their return to the safe house when Bucky confronts her.
Length: 5.1 K
Characters: Bucky, Joanne
Warnings and other notes: Withdrawal symptoms, irritability, Bucky pushing boundaries.
<<Chapter 12
Even though Joanne had responded to the personal ad when she went to town on her own that day, she hadn't been back since then to find out if there was a response. Part of it was because Bucky asked her to help paint the room. The other part was because they noticed a helicopter circling in the area and kept inside, not wanting to risk being seen coming out of the building. For all she knew, the response she sent to the personal ad had been intercepted by law enforcement and they were searching for them. If she had gone into town and picked up a newspaper, she would have been informed of a search for two missing children who had wandered away from their campsite, realizing that the appearance of the helicopter was a coincidence.
Once the room was finished, which only took them a day, Bucky asked if she would teach him to cook so that he could contribute to their situation. They started with omelettes and went on to pancakes, which he remembered eating as soon as she poured the batter onto the frying pan. After suggesting she buy him a cookbook that would teach him the basics of cooking, she also showed him how to make macaroni and cheese, using what they had on hand but promising to get better cheese the next time they went shopping. He picked up making a white sauce quite quickly and the result was satisfying to both of them.
In the few days they didn't go out there had been several instances of her waking up in the night, as she heard the muted sounds of Bucky being sick in the bathroom he used. He never said anything about it to her and she didn't bring it up, respecting his desire to deal with it himself. During the days inside they read some of the books she bought, as well as played the games in some puzzle books, including sudoku, word search, and crossword puzzles. The puzzle books were challenging enough to keep them both occupied and Bucky asked for more the next time they went back to town.
He accompanied her when they did, going to the library first as she checked the computer while he watched. The response they got was supposedly from Bill, who asked if they were alright, and whether they had encountered anyone from HYDRA yet. He admitted that he had gone into hiding, worried that he was being sought by the remnants of the organization but insisted he was safe with friends. The email was very general in nature and although Bucky was satisfied, Joanne was bothered at the tone of the message. Knowing and working with Bill, she knew how he communicated, and this didn't sound like him. While Bucky, who had wandered over to the new books display, was pre-occupied she answered the email with questions that only Bill would know the answer to.
Does Mr. Winston know you're safe? Martin Winston was the previous station owner, who was now back in control of Metro News.
How long did you know Jack Weston?
What unit were you embedded with during the Gulf War?
What was your wife's name and when did she die?
Where did I hide the USB drive?
She hit send, then logged out of email while she looked up the ticket purchasing page for the Smithsonian. Taking one of the prepaid VISA cards out of her purse, she booked two tickets for two days later, entering the information on the card. After the purchase went through, she printed off the tickets, then reopened the email to see if anything had come through. To her surprise there was a response, with an answer to each question. The last two answers made her smile as she could just picture Bill writing it.
My ex-wife's name is Jackie, and she is very much alive, living it up with her boy toy in Malibu. Thanks for bringing her up. The USB drive was hidden in the ceiling panel of the room we filmed our segment in at the station. I assume you asked this to make sure it was really me and that I was able to speak freely.
I am with some good SHIELD people. They came to visit me in the hospital worried that I would be a target. Because my fingers are still a mess one of them is typing this as I talk. He kind of paraphrased what I said on the first email. I assume that's what made you ask these questions. That cop whose tire you slashed was also good SHIELD but obviously not good enough if even you could make him. Anyways, they infiltrated the station as part of the cleaning staff and found the drive. It's now in a safe place. They are very interested in the files and laptop you took from Pierce's office as they were looking for the laptop to find the names of more traitors. We'll have to come up with some way for you to give it to them.
Now, the hard part. They already know that Bucky is likely coming down off of a lot of medications forced into him to keep him under control. Is he stable? Are you fearing for your safety while he goes through withdrawal? They can offer some alternatives for him to use but would need to examine him to help him through this but recognize that he might not trust them enough to accept their help. Personally, based on just the short time I was with him, I think he would rather cut off his arm than hurt you. But if you have any concerns about staying with him then you must consider convincing him to give himself up to these people. They won't hurt him, I promise. They know he was forced to be the Winter Soldier. They know about him Joanne and want to make sure that he isn't forced to do anything like that again.
There's more I could tell you but it's better to be done face to face than via email. Somehow, we'll have to set that up. Until then, stay vigilant and don't take any unnecessary chances. Get back to me as soon as you can.
Bill
She tried not to react as she read it. He was with SHIELD, or what was left of it, after their files were released. She had looked at the recent newspaper coverage of the roundup of politicians, military leaders, businesspeople, and those in the intelligence community whose secret connection to HYDRA had been revealed. The numbers were staggering but if they believed there were more names in Pierce's laptop then they should get it. Certainly, they would have the staff who could hack into it. Quickly she typed out a response that they were staying in a place without wifi or cell phone coverage and had to come into town to use the public library for communication. Noticing Bucky coming back to her she said she would email more when she could then sent it and logged out, restarting the computer.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I'll tell you more when we're out of here. I have our tickets for the Smithsonian."
He smiled, then gestured to the library. "This is really nice here. It's busy but it's calm. I could spend hours just browsing the books."
She looked around. "Public libraries have really stepped up to offer lots of services to people who might not have access to a lot. We should get going. Need to pick up groceries."
They headed out the door and walked to the car, where she looked at him. "How do you feel about buying a TV, DVD player and some movies?"
"What's a DVD player?"
She started to explain but realized it was probably easier to show him in the electronics department at Walmart when they went there for groceries. They wouldn't need cable to watch DVD movies, and it might help both of them unwind. Joanne also reasoned that if they could pick up some old movies, with actors that were popular during the 1940s it could help Bucky regain some good memories. Out in the parking lot she automatically went to the driver's side but noticed that he slowed up as they approached the car.
"What's wrong?" she asked, then looked around, wondering if he noticed something she didn't.
"May I drive? I brought a driver's licence with me; the one that calls me Jake Burnett." Her reaction must have been noticeable because he looked down at the asphalt surface beside the car, then looked up again almost defiantly. "You've done all the driving, except for that one time. I should be helping when I can."
"How good of a driver are you?" It was the only thing she could think of saying. "I mean, can you drive responsibly and not attract attention?" He tilted his head at her in disbelief, looking away then back at her. "Well, considering your history, how much driving have you done?"
"Plenty." A sense of understanding came over his face. "I drove before, remember? You think I'll drive like a criminal, don't you?"
"No, I don't think that at all," she replied, defensively. She came towards him, handing him the keys. "Here, drive."
Walking past him to the passenger side she waited for him to activate the remote control to open the doors. He followed her, clicked the button, then opened the door for her, making her look up at him, surprised at his action. Keeping his face stoic, he said nothing but as she sat inside, he smiled slightly then closed her door before going over to the driver's side and getting inside. After adjusting the seat, he pulled the seatbelt into place and started the car up, then put it into reverse and turned to look out the back window, placing his hand on the back of her seat as he did. Joanne stifled the urge to say anything, although she thought he backed out too quickly. Putting the car into drive, he accelerated slightly and waited for traffic to clear at the exit before turning onto the road.
"Okay, which way do I go?" he asked.
"Stay on this road for about a mile then turn right at Maple."
She looked straight ahead, but when he approached a red light he could tell she was tense, as her right foot shifted slightly as if she was braking.
"I won't speed," he said, when the light turned green. "I know how to avoid attracting attention."
Saying nothing, she looked out her window instead, until they approached Maple and he slowed down, activating the turn signal. As he waited for the traffic on Maple before turning, she stiffened.
"Police," she said, nodding her head towards a vehicle that had just stopped for the light on the other side of the intersection.
"I see them," he said, making the turn, then looking in the rearview mirror as he accelerated. "They kept going. It's alright. Now, directions?"
"Another mile and you'll see it, Walmart."
"There's a lot of those, isn't there?"
"Yeah, they're everywhere, even in other countries." She looked out the window again, then back at him. "I'm sorry. I forgot about when you drove before when I got faint and you drove well. I just...."
"It's alright." He glanced at her. "You've done everything so far and took on all the responsibilities. I can do more and I want to learn more, too."
"Okay," she breathed out and smiled. "More responsibilities for you. Got it."
He parked away from the other vehicles, then stopped at the shopping cart corral and pulled out a shopping cart. Making sure his ball cap was on firmly they approached the entrance. This time, he didn't hesitate, walking in as if he had done it all of his life. Joanne actually hesitated then pulled out another shopping cart from those inside.
"If we're buying a TV and DVD player, we'll need two carts."
On the way to the electronics section, they passed the bathroom and bedroom linens section. Joanne stopped, surprising Bucky who paused a few steps further away and looked back at her.
"The sheets and towels they have at the safe house are awful," she said. "Would you mind if we bought some more, better ones? We can get a tote to carry them in and take them with us."
"What's awful about them?" he asked, puzzled.
Turning into the aisle with the towels she looked through the selection, finding ones that she wanted to buy, then held them out to him.
"Touch them," she said, then checked herself as he looked at his gloved hands. "Hold them against your face." He did as she asked. "Don't you find them softer? Imagine using that to dry yourself after a shower instead of those thin scratchy towels they have."
"Do you want them?" he asked. "It doesn't matter to me but if you prefer to have these ones, then you should get them."
Bucky's reaction to the sheets and a light duvet were the same so Joanne bought them for herself, plus a tote to take them with her whenever they left the site for good. In the electronics department, he looked at the displays of the different sizes of TVs, shaking his head at the selection. She considered buying a dedicated DVD player with a viewing screen but they were so small that the viewing experience would be less than what she wanted. They settled on a 32 inch TV, and a basic DVD player, then looked at the assortment of movies on DVD that were available. Even though there were some old movies Bucky had no memory of the actors in them so she made the decision which ones to get, choosing half a dozen. After paying for those at the electronics department, they went on to the book section, to look for cookbooks for him and puzzle books for both of them.
"How are you doing?" she asked, looking for signs of stress from him.
"I'm fine," he said. "It's not as busy as the other Walmart. If I have to leave, I'll tell you."
After making their book choices, they went through the grocery aisles, restocking what they needed and adding microwave popcorn, beer, and some different snacks to the cart for when they did watch a movie together. By the time they got to the cashier both carts were full. Bucky watched carefully as Joanne placed everything on the conveyor belt, seeming fascinated at how the scanner read the barcode, bringing up the price on the screen. His eyes widened at the total cost but he kept quiet as Joanne paid cash for everything. While they walked out of the store, he looked around them to make sure it was safe to speak.
"Does everything cost that much?"
"Pretty much," she answered. "It gets expensive, especially for people on a lower income. We run stories on how the high prices make it harder for people on a limited income."
"Run stories?"
"My job," she said. "I was assistant news director for a TV news station in Washington. Most of our stories were political, being based there, but we ran other stories that had relevance as well."
"Did you like it?" She nodded. "How did you end up at the base, if you were an assistant news director? Bill told me a little and you've said a little more but I would like to know the whole story."
They unloaded the groceries into the car trunk, then placed the electronics and linens in the back seat. Bucky opened the passenger door for her, then took the wheel, backing out of the spot. On the drive back to the safe house, she told him the full story of how her life changed from the day he was involved with the first attempt on Nick Fury. By the time they got back he knew everything.
After parking the car inside the garage he sat quietly in the driver's seat, then looked over at her, meaning to ask her something. For just a moment, he had a memory of being in a parked car, turning towards a girl in the front seat with him and sliding over, putting his arm around her and kissing her. It was so vivid in its sound and imagery, complete with the music on the radio, a song that sounded familiar but whose title escaped him, and the smile on her face as their lips pressed together. Then it was gone and he was sitting there, wondering what he was going to say to Joanne.
"Bucky, are you alright?" she asked.
"Yeah, I was going to ask you something then something else came up in my head. Now I don't remember what I was going to say."
"Happens sometimes, even to me," she smiled, hoping to ease his concerns.
Together, they got everything out, then put the groceries away before deciding where to set up the TV. Choosing one of the larger offices they moved the desk furniture out, then brought in the largest couch. It was still quite hard, so they went to the dormitory and found the softest mattress, which wasn't much better. They covered it up with sheets and placed extra pillows on it. A small cabinet with a shelf was placed across from the couch and Joanne took the TV out of its box, suggesting it be kept to transport the TV whenever they moved. As she connected them up, Bucky watched her, then began reading the DVD player instructions, asking her about the terminology. Once it was finished she looked around the room then went into the other offices, calling to Bucky to help her carry three small tables, placing them in front of the couch.
"There," she said. "We'll have some supper, then we'll make some popcorn, and set up one of the movies."
He looked at the titles she picked.
"I wish I could remember these movies."
"A couple of them were from after the war," she said, "but they're good. Some cities have theatres that just show these old movies because they really don't make them like these anymore."
"No? What are newer movies like?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"Well, some are loaded with computer generated special effects. They call it CGI and while it can make some fantastic stories possible, sometimes they go overboard with it and seem to spend more money on it than on the story. Movies now can be more explicit." He raised his eyebrows. "Sex mostly, violence, gore, probably things that would trigger your PTSD." She looked at two of the movies, wondering if she should have picked them. Although they were tame by current standards they might still be a bit much for Bucky. There was only one way to find out. "Not to say they aren't good movies but it's best to take them in small doses. We can watch some that have a little of the things you might find shocking. You never know. You might enjoy them, or not."
Together they made a chicken Alfredo pasta, baking the chicken and using milk instead of cream, reducing the fat in the sauce to avoid upsetting Bucky's stomach. It was still good and he had two good sized helpings. With a couple of scoops of ice cream after it was a filling meal. As they washed and dried the dishes together, Bucky huffed a little, drawing Joanne's attention.
"What?" she asked.
"I remembered what I wanted to ask you. You didn't say anything about that ad. I know you got an answer because you went back and looked more than once and it took you a while."
"I meant to. It kind of got lost in everything else we did today." He kept washing, saying nothing. "It was Bill. He's alright." She hesitated, wondering if she should say more. Be truthful. "He's with SHIELD, not the ones who were infiltrated by HYDRA. They thought he was still in danger. They know I'm with you voluntarily, but they are concerned about you, about your withdrawal. I guess they found some of the records of your treatment. Also, that cop whose tire you slashed was with them and was just watching, nothing more."
He stopped washing and stood there, his jaw tight enough that she could see a muscle twitch in it.
"Did you tell them where we are?"
"No, I didn't."
He was watching her closely now, his eyes taking in everything about her. Exhaling a breath, he resumed washing.
"Don't tell them. I don't trust them."
"They know that. They offered something for you to take to ease the withdrawal symptoms. I know you've had more because I've heard you in the night. I just haven't said anything."
"I can manage."
"Bucky...."
"I said that I can manage." He stopped again and looked upwards at a space on the wall, concentrating on not losing his temper. "I know you mean well but I'm not ready to trust anyone else ... just you. Please, don't tell them where we are."
He turned towards her, his blue eyes almost glacier-like in appearance, reflecting the fear he felt inside at being taken again. Slowly, she raised her hand to his arm, touched him and nodded.
"I won't."
Deciding not to bring up their request for the laptop and paper files at this time, she returned to drying the wet dishes and putting them away. It didn't take long for her to feel the strain in her throat, as she fought the urge to cry. Once again she was wanting to let loose and cry like a little kid. It was like the longer she was with him, the less control she felt over her own emotions. When she dropped a plate and it broke into several pieces on the floor, she couldn't hold it back any more. While her hands shook, she could feel the tears streaming over her cheeks and turned away from Bucky, intent on retreating back to her room. Instead, she felt a warm hand on hers, pulling her back, and then his arms wrapping themselves around her. He said nothing at first, just held her as he stroked her hair and back.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, "I shouldn't have got mad at you. You've been doing everything to look after me and I appreciate it, I really do."
Joanne snuffled into his shirt, then reached for a paper towel to wipe her eyes. Bucky leaned over searching her face solemnly. He swallowed, then gently wiped a tear away that she missed. There was a moment where he wanted to run his thumb over her bottom lip but that memory of kissing the woman in the car flashed in his mind again. He breathed out heavily, pushing the memory back down, and pulled his hands away to his side.
"Why don't you go splash some water on your face while I finish up here," he murmured.
With a shaky breath of her own, Joanne nodded and left the kitchen, hurrying for her room when she was out in the hallway. Once inside, she closed the door and leaned against it, trying to convince herself that what almost happened wasn't what she thought it was. It couldn't be that, could it? In the bathroom she wet a facecloth, irritated that it was one of the old ones. She would have to wash the new ones the next day. Holding the cool cloth against her skin, she breathed as it soothed her heated cheeks, then held it against her reddened eyes. A slight knock on the hallway door drew her attention.
"Yes?"
"Are we still going to watch a movie?" Bucky sounded tentative.
"Yeah, I'll be right there," she answered. "Just give me a couple of minutes."
When she came into their setup viewing room a few minutes later Bucky was sitting on the couch, looking at two of the DVDs.
"I think I remember this guy," he said, pointing to the images of Humphrey Bogart on the DVD cases. "He looks familiar."
"These are both classics," she replied. "I prefer Casablanca over The Maltese Falcon but they're both really good."
"Casablanca is fine. Show me how you watch a movie on this."
She showed him how to turn the TV and DVD player on, opened the DVD tray and placed the disc on it, then closed it. He watched closely as the menu came up on the screen and she pressed Play. Curling up on one end of the couch she placed a couple of pillows between them, and kept her eyes on the screen. As the opening credits rolled she glanced sideways at him, making sure he was focused on the display. Then she pressed Pause and looked at him.
"Did you want to try some popcorn? Or have a beer?"
"No, I'm good." He looked at her, then licked his lips. "I wasn't going to kiss you without your permission."
Dipping her head for a moment, she breathed carefully.
"We can't ...."
"I know but I've been remembering kissing." He frowned as he examined his hands. "I remember how nice it felt before."
"What if it goes further? We don't have protection and I'm not on birth control as I haven't had a steady boyfriend for a long time." She looked intently at him. "When was the last time you remember?"
For several minutes, he didn't answer as he kept staring at his hands, then he sighed. "With a woman? I don't remember. With HYDRA I was expected to allow them to do what they wanted with me."
His face was flushed and he wouldn't look at her after he said it out loud. After his breakdown a few days before, she guessed he had been sexually abused but for him to tell her straight out was a sign of his trust in her. The fact he wanted to kiss her was an important step for him and how she handled it could either help him or break him.
"Bucky," she said gently. He kept looking at his hands. "Please, look at me."
Slowly his eyes shifted from his hands to her face. With deliberation, she reached out with one hand and touched his cheek, barely brushing her fingertips over it then placing her palm on it. Shifting so she was closer, she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. Then she pulled away and gazed at him, waiting for him to decide what came next. His blue rimmed pupils, considerably darkened, searched her face then settled on her lips.
"It's okay," she whispered. "You can kiss me."
He moved closer to her, placing his left hand on her waist, then raised his right hand to her cheek, caressing it then running his fingers through her hair. For a moment he bit his lower lip then he made contact, so tenderly that he was barely putting any pressure on Joanne's lips. As she opened her mouth a little, Bucky responded in the same way, intensifying the connection, bringing their bodies closer until there was no space between them. It wasn't a deep French kiss but it was passionate and incredibly intimate, making Joanne feel something deep inside. She ran her hands over his back, using the circular motions to gauge the tenseness in his muscles. If this had been the first kiss of a first date, she would have definitely invited him in for more, whatever that would end up being. Just as she considered allowing it to go further he withdrew, lingering slowly until there was only the touch of his breath on her lips. His eyes stayed closed for several heartbeats, showcasing his thick dark lashes. When he opened them, the blue of the irises seemed brighter and more prominent.
"Thank you."
His soft acknowledgement spoke volumes of what the moment meant to him. Caressing his cheek again, she smiled then kissed him on the forehead, ending the encounter the same way as it began. She picked up the remote then had a thought.
"Would you like that beer now? I wish I had bought something stronger but I wouldn't mind a beer myself."
He smiled and nodded. She went to the fridge, getting the two beers and coming back. Aiming the remote, he pressed Play, then took his beer, mimicking her as she twisted off the cap. They settled back against the pillows, close but not touching. As the movie progressed, they both relaxed more and shifted enough that when Joanne rested her head on Bucky's shoulder he leaned into it. Casablanca ended up being a good choice for them to watch. Although he still couldn't quite recall Humphrey Bogart in other movies, he recognized him as someone from his time. At the end of the movie, when Bogart let Ingrid Bergman go, he looked thoughtful.
"I don't know if I would have let her go," he admitted. "She was the woman he loved more than anything. Even her husband could see that."
"Yeah, but that's what makes it a classic," replied Joanne. "Sometimes you have to give up what's most precious to you for the greater good. His decision confirmed that he was a good man at heart, willing to do what was right, even though it hurt."
There was nothing more to be said and she shut the TV and DVD player off, while Bucky made sure all the doors were locked. They said goodnight from their doorways, the lights from their rooms casting shadows in the darkened hallway. As Joanne got in between the old sheets of her bed for the last time, she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be with Bucky. He was wondering the same as he settled into his sleeping spot on the floor. Certainly, both knew that things had changed between them with the kiss. Whether that was as far as it went or if it went further wasn't something that they really wanted to address at that moment, since their association wasn't ever meant to be permanent. As they laid in the darkness of their rooms, thinking of when they would have to go their separate ways, they both came to the same conclusion. Saying goodbye would hurt, more than either of them ever contemplated.
Chapter 14>>
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