See the driver here? Iām not sure that I mentioned on here that H is now raising two toads. š³ Iām not sure for how long, but we set up a habitat, and he is thrilled.
I met with the attachment therapist for Baby today. She asked me if he was a danger to himself or others, and I said no. Then she asked me a couple of other questions, and based on how I answered those, she said she thought he was a danger to himself. My understanding when she asked the question initially was that she was asking about being suicidal. However, she basically said that he is unsafe to himself. This is primarily because I told her that he rode his bike to the park this week with someone who is helping to watch him (not really a babysitter as sheās in her 30s and trained to work with kids with specific needs), and that he didnāt stop and wait for her before crossing several side streets on his bike. When she put it in that context, I was like, āThatās basically his normal, so if you consider that a danger to himself, what are your suggestions?ā She said day treatment or in-patient. š³ Heās four. She admitted both were luck of the draw in that maybe he would get matched with a good social worker while in the program, but maybe not. She also said itās like picking the best of bad options.
We then discussed his higher than high impulsivity and agreed that if we could find a medication to help manage that piece, then it would probably make life significantly less challenging all the way around. Baby had neuropsych testing done in 2019 and off the charts ADHD was the diagnosis. Iām meeting with the psych tomorrow for a different kid, and hoping he will agree to take a look at Baby. The same psych treated him at three years of age, but due to his age was only willing to try a couple of meds, and neither seemed to work. I think that if we controlled the impulsivity with medication, we would have much better luck with safety issues. And therapy would probably be a lot more meaningful as well.
We are also going to start Theraplay virtually so weāll see if that works (at all). I will say that doing it virtually cuts down on the time needed as my drive time would be an hour each way. It also resolves all of my childcare problems as the therapist didnāt want me to bring any kids along to a f2f appointment which is understandable, but also I donāt have childcare so that would have been difficult at best.
I have cried very few times when speaking to therapists but I cried on the video call twice today. Once when she mentioned Babyās grief over all the loss heās been through in his life, as it made me think of all that we have lost too. I also cried when she asked me what we wanted to gain from therapy. I just want some semblance of normalcy and for my kids to not hate each other. I want Baby to grow up and feel loved and cared for, and not fall into a path or destruction and addiction. It was/is a lot to process.
